Chapter 3 [Audio/Commentlog]

[faun_tumnus]

[Tumnus had re-awoken in his room two days prior and he hadn't left until now. It had taken time for the memories to begin to surface again and when they had, the faun could only pray that he was mistaken

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[hidingnolonger]

[Raven needed the rain - the relentless, pounding and almost painful rain - to cleanse and...maybe attempt to heal her own brokenness inside.

She hadn't expected anyone else to be out in this - it was too wild out here, too intense for most peoples preferences, but she found that she liked the ...untameable qualities that the storm displayed.

Still doing her best to play 'patrol' - even without Bobby, she walks right up to the faun - she remembers him from a brief encounter - and looks down, yellow eyes cool as rail ran down her clothing and skin in rivulets.]

You should go inside.

[faun_tumnus]

[Tumnus shakes his head without looking up, not recognizing the voice just yet. His dark brown hair is plastered to his head, horns poking out even more apparently without the cover of the normally full curls.

He speaks softly, his voice choked with pain and something far deeper. He had promised himself and Lucy that henwould only ever serve good after he escaped the vile hold of Jadis ..]

I should not .. I should not be allowed around the people here..

[He leans back then, his blue-grey gaze rising to the dark sky overhead. He pays no mind to the pouring rain, doubting even this tumultuous downpour will ever cleanse him from what he's done. His lower furred half is as wet as his head, fur plastered and dripping onto the ground he sits upon.

Still the faun remains. Even though he looks clean, he feels far from it.]

I very much doubt that I have any place amongst the good people here at all .. I should be sent back..

[He sounds as wretched as he feels, but there is a certain heaviness to his words. He believes himself better off

[hidingnolonger]

[Raven wasn't exactly sure how to take that statement - until she realized what exactly might have happened. Her fists clench and unclench - she'd seen the results of what could and would happen when people were infected, when they were out of control.

It didn't matter who you were, you hurt your friends, people you loved. She'd seen it. What had been left of Bobby had been proof that there had been no restraint.

Her fingers loosened.]

What, sent back to...nothing?

[She rested her hands on her hips and looked down.]

You were one of them, weren't you. [It's not an accusation, persay - simply a statement.]

[faun_tumnus]

[Tumnus laughs, but the sound is forced and bitter. He looks at her then, his blue-grey gaze finally falling upon her strangely attractive face. He stares into those yellow eyes as she stares down at him and his voice is hollow.]

Yes .. Sent back to nothing. Nothing is what I deserve ..

[At her next statement he flinches as if struck and looks away, hands clutching at the fur atop his thighs.]

I was ..

[mister_10_below]

[Bobby's memories are pretty much entirely back, now. Some things are still fuzzy or a bit confusing - but he knows who he is, and he knows what happened to him. Kind of. Enough to gather the pieces together, anyway, and he's not sure what he thinks about any of it

[faun_tumnus]

[The faun is lost in his tumultuous and self-deprecation when Bobby begins his approach, staring down at his hands. How could he ..?

He doesn't even hear Bobby as he draws up alongside, only noticing him when he speaks. And when he notices, his ears flicking toward the boy, his gaze follows and widens abruptly and his entire being just .. ceases.]

B-b-bobby!! [The single word is strangled and horrified as Bobby sits next to him. There are any number of things that leap to Tumnus' lips, but what he ends up saying is far simpler.]

I'm s-s-s-so s-s-so-sorry!!

[mister_10_below]

[Bobby tenses slightly at the horror in his name. He can't lose one of his friends over this. He can't. Not over something that didn't even stick. But he forces himself to relax, and turns towards Tumnus.]

You're forgiven.

[Because he is, even though there's really nothing for him to be forgiven for. But Bobby knows sometimes forgiveness is worth more than just dismissing the apology entirely, even though he's not sure this is one of those times. If Tumnus even wants it.]

It's not your fault. That wasn't you.

[faun_tumnus]

[With those first two words, time simply stops and Tumnus stares at the young man siting near him. Was this really something so easily forgiven as that? He searches Bobby's face, his own expression incredulous and disbelieving. It couldn't be this easy .. could it?!]

H-h-how c-can y-you ..? H-how ..? I d-don't .. I ..

[He struggles to pull his thoughts together and manage even one stammering sentence, by fails repeatedly. In the end he looks at the ground, hooves scraping against the dirt and stone beneath them.]

I s-sh-should have c-come f-forward w-w-when I knew I w-was s-s-sick .. The m-matter c-could h-h-have b-been s-s-settled quickly .. b-but I w-was s-s-scared ..

[halfbrokenwings]

[After spending all of that time cooped up, she wasn't about to miss the opportunity to get outside. The rain only made the experience sweeter. Clothing plastered to her body, feathers clumped and wetted down, and hair completely matted to her head and shoulders, it was a wonderful feeling of freedom after so much fear, confusion and confinement.

What was this though?

There was a shape within the raindrops that looked as though it was seated, and was not enjoying the weather.

She comes closer, and the figure is more than familiar. There's only one faun she knows... ]

Tumnus? Are you alright?

[She's coming over to put a hand on his shoulder and kneel to his level if he'll let her.]

[faun_tumnus]

[The faun had seen any number of people during his self isolation outside the Keep and they all seemed so happy out in the rain. It really just made him all the more miserable. They were happy because they were finally free to escape their confinement .. because the threat had been neutralized. He knew he had not been alone in his infection, but he could only personalize his shame and guilt.

If he had done this once, and once again when Jadis had control of Narnia, who was to say he was at all innocent? Who was to say he'd not do something even worse next time. It would be best if he left this place .. If he was sent away.

He is lost in these thoughts when Isabella touches his shoulder, starting with what sounds almost like a bleat. He looks torn, either ready to run or ready to give himself to whatever his fate. He blinks several times unil he actually sees Isabella kneeling next to him.]

Ah, Isab-b-bella .. [He looks away, pulling into himself as he shakes his head.]You s-s-should n-not w-waste your t-t-time w-with me, c-ch-child

[halfbrokenwings]

[His reaction startled her and near breaks her heart seeing the expression on his face. That was not the face of the bard she saw before, nor could she think that this was normal for him in the least. All of the jovial bard she had seen before was gone and the sureness in his voice seemed shattered.

She doesn't pull away and the hand doesn't move off his shoulder. She leans forward a little to look at him even though, he might not wish it.

Her own voice is soft and barely heard above the rain but it is there.]

It is no waste, Tumnus. I want to be here. I am worried-

[Such a feeling was plain on her face.]

What happened?

[Sorry, she wasn't very privileged during the outbreak.]

[faun_tumnus]

[He looks away, his expression strained and were it not for the pouring rain overhead she'd certainly see a fair number of tears. He hears her perfectly well despite the rain, but he cannot rationalize that he is due that concern.

When he reponds, it is stutter free, but soft and full of pain and disconnect.]

You concern is better given to those inside, dearest Isabella ..

[Ah, but the concern in her voice hits him much like any blow and her hand remains on his shoulder, keeping him grounded and paying her the strictest of attention. He swallows, looking away from her as he replies.]

I w-was ss-sick .. I k-kil- .. [He breaks off with a wretched sound, but it should be so painfully clear that the word he could not manage was 'killed'.]

[angha_firebird]

Aara hasn't regained her memories yet, but she saw Tumnus' figure slumped out in the rain, and she frowns. Grabbing her now-clean blanket she had thoroughly washed clean of blood, Aara quickly makes her way to Tumnus's slumped form, slowing her footsteps as she nears him until she's at his side.

She wraps the blanket around his shoulders.

"Why are you not inside?"

[faun_tumnus]

Tumnus couldn't imagine ever feeling clean again, even as the rain ran clear off his skin and fur. He had scrubbed himself until he nearly bled after he had woken, not caring that the shower had been ice cold. He had simply wanted to clean himself, but even without the blood there he felt as if it remained.

He is lost in his thoughts, his mind full of images that won't wash away with the rain, and thereby starts when Aara's blanket moves to cover his shoulders.

He blinks up through the rain at the unfamiliar face and shakes his head as his ears flick back against his skull. "There is no place for me to be inside .. it is safer for everyone if I remain thus separated .."

[angha_firebird]

Aara does not understand that in the slightest, and tilts her head slightly to prove it.

"Why is that?"

[faun_tumnus]

Tumnus shakes his head, looking away from those clear eyes, so full of innocent curiosity .. but the concern is there too, and it pains him to see it directed at himself just now.

"I have sinned in the worst possible way .. I took the lives of two .. two that I considered friends .. I .. I cannot think of any worse crime than that .."

His pain filled gaze lifts once again to Aara's, uncertain what he will find there. "Go inside, child .. I am not worthy of your concern .."