Chapter 3 [Audio/Commentlog]

[faun_tumnus]

[Tumnus had re-awoken in his room two days prior and he hadn't left until now. It had taken time for the memories to begin to surface again and when they had, the faun could only pray that he was mistaken

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[faun_tumnus]

[The faun had seen any number of people during his self isolation outside the Keep and they all seemed so happy out in the rain. It really just made him all the more miserable. They were happy because they were finally free to escape their confinement .. because the threat had been neutralized. He knew he had not been alone in his infection, but he could only personalize his shame and guilt.

If he had done this once, and once again when Jadis had control of Narnia, who was to say he was at all innocent? Who was to say he'd not do something even worse next time. It would be best if he left this place .. If he was sent away.

He is lost in these thoughts when Isabella touches his shoulder, starting with what sounds almost like a bleat. He looks torn, either ready to run or ready to give himself to whatever his fate. He blinks several times unil he actually sees Isabella kneeling next to him.]

Ah, Isab-b-bella .. [He looks away, pulling into himself as he shakes his head.]

You s-s-should n-not w-waste your t-t-time w-with me, c-ch-child ..

[halfbrokenwings]

[His reaction startled her and near breaks her heart seeing the expression on his face. That was not the face of the bard she saw before, nor could she think that this was normal for him in the least. All of the jovial bard she had seen before was gone and the sureness in his voice seemed shattered.

She doesn't pull away and the hand doesn't move off his shoulder. She leans forward a little to look at him even though, he might not wish it.

Her own voice is soft and barely heard above the rain but it is there.]

It is no waste, Tumnus. I want to be here. I am worried-

[Such a feeling was plain on her face.]

What happened?

[Sorry, she wasn't very privileged during the outbreak.]

[faun_tumnus]

[He looks away, his expression strained and were it not for the pouring rain overhead she'd certainly see a fair number of tears. He hears her perfectly well despite the rain, but he cannot rationalize that he is due that concern.

When he reponds, it is stutter free, but soft and full of pain and disconnect.]

You concern is better given to those inside, dearest Isabella ..

[Ah, but the concern in her voice hits him much like any blow and her hand remains on his shoulder, keeping him grounded and paying her the strictest of attention. He swallows, looking away from her as he replies.]

I w-was ss-sick .. I k-kil- .. [He breaks off with a wretched sound, but it should be so painfully clear that the word he could not manage was 'killed'.]

[halfbrokenwings]

[That he would not look at her, gave more away perhaps about his state of being than he intended.

She doesn't move, while he speaks until the very end. When she realized suddenly what happened and the word he was trying to say and the sorrowful sound that accompanied it.

The hand on his shoulder turns into a hug and she vehemently shakes her head.]

Tumnus, it wasn't you. Not you. You were sick. It was the illness but not you.

please excuse the default icon of defaultiness

[faun_tumnus]

[It's a dead giveaway for his headspace, for certain. Tumnus, typically so extroverted and full of smiles and laughter is anything but just now.

The hug catches him off guard and he falters in his train of misery for a moment as Isabella holds him. Why in heaven's name would she want to be anywhere near him right now is a mystery that he cannot fathom..

His throat tightens at her words and when he exhales, the faun's breath is shaky, his words thick sounding.]

But it was .. when they wake they will not remember, but it will come back to them .. it will all come back ..

if you can excuse my tardiness? ;_;

[halfbrokenwings]

[Hugs are what people do when they want to comfort someone and words just don't cut it, right?

She shakes her head slowly.]

But it was not, Tumnus. You must believe it. When they wake, and remember and if they have seen you at all before this and know of you, they will realize that it was not you. It had your face and you were trapped inside it, but those actions were not your own.

[Hey, Alex? That forgiveness thing? Yeah, she really did forgive you about it.

She is equating the virus that ravaged the population to the werecreatures she grew up with and know in the keep. But, with this, there was nothing to prepare against. No one could know who it would affect and where or when. It was not like the moonrise and an infected bite. Everyone was a victim here.

She squeezes his shoulders and doesn't move away. She'll not leave yet.]

I find it hard to believe that you wanted to do that.

If you can excuse my own. T^T

[faun_tumnus]

[Tumnus is silent for a good long while with Isabella's form hugging his shoulders. He's drenched and miserable, but he cannot deny the truth to her words. As much as he might want to ..]

No .. No I did not want to do that .. Never.

[And Alex would be most pleased to hear that.]

Well then .. AGAIN ME D:

[halfbrokenwings]

[She's not going to move. Well, she's not going to move her body. She's able to angle her good wing over Tumnus a bit. It's not easy to come to terms with something like that, if ever..]

It isn't something you can be blamed for. You're a victim in this too...

I STILL LOVE YOU!! <33333

[faun_tumnus]

[Tumnus feels both the sudden lack of rain pelting his body and the gentle encompassing weight of her wing. He looks up at her again, studying her face as she speaks and can see nothing there but genuine concern and compassion.]

It .. It might take a while to come to terms with that .. whether or not it was within my range of control. But I thank you, Isabella .. you are truly a blessing.