last post for 4 months :'(
i cant tell you guys how i feel right now!
shocked/scared/excited/drunk/happy/sad/thoughtful/anxious/fuck!!!
i cant believe in 13hrs i will be in rehab! OMDz!!!!
im soooooooooo going to miss you guys! lv u so much, you have done so much and have been here for me when no-one else was over the years and i thank you so much for it. Im so thankful i randomly found LJ the day i searched for thinspo lol
my dad bought me a letter set with cards and envelopes and guess whats on the cover of the cards: cocktails lol....thanks dad :P bless him, he said it was either that or food and he said to just pretend theyre fruit cocktails lol my dad is such a man! haha
my mum started crying earlier, god knows what shell be like 2moro at 6am (when i leave), have to get up at 5am :/
had a chat to two of my aunties and one of them who was a total bitch about my mum a few weeks ago was extremely nice, it was like she gave me a hug through the phone....thats never happened before, why she being so nice for?! even my dad was shocked lol!
since it is my last day i have been taking things a bit out of control; drinking 3 bottles of wine, slaughtered my arm which fucking stings like fuck, ate fuck loads of shit including pizza, chocolate, chips, crisps and pasta, and i purged a great deal earlier which i havent done for a while. Yeah!!!
i had to say bye to my guinea pigs. Tried to teach mum how to pick them up but failed terribly lol but im sure my dad can do it. I thought maybe it would be good for my mum as she cant do much now and she got told by the end of the month she will be more likely to be in a wheelchair so thought itll be something she could do still even with a wheelchair; cuddle the guinea pigs. She has hold them a few times when i gave them to her but shes never picked them up herself and today she sort of grabbed their ribs rather than their bellies like i do. I had a good cuddle with them, TubTub was grumpy today but Rapey was cool and i brought him into my dads room and we had a big chat and i think Rapey started to get hungry as at first he nibbled at my top and then he nibbled at my boob :S lol silly guinea pig, fatty lil things, im so gonna miss them and their lil crater heads :)
take care my lovelies!!!
wish me luck!
lv ya loads and cya in 4 months
lv emz xoxo
shocked/scared/excited/drunk/happy/sad/thoughtful/anxious/fuck!!!
i cant believe in 13hrs i will be in rehab! OMDz!!!!
im soooooooooo going to miss you guys! lv u so much, you have done so much and have been here for me when no-one else was over the years and i thank you so much for it. Im so thankful i randomly found LJ the day i searched for thinspo lol
my dad bought me a letter set with cards and envelopes and guess whats on the cover of the cards: cocktails lol....thanks dad :P bless him, he said it was either that or food and he said to just pretend theyre fruit cocktails lol my dad is such a man! haha
my mum started crying earlier, god knows what shell be like 2moro at 6am (when i leave), have to get up at 5am :/
had a chat to two of my aunties and one of them who was a total bitch about my mum a few weeks ago was extremely nice, it was like she gave me a hug through the phone....thats never happened before, why she being so nice for?! even my dad was shocked lol!
since it is my last day i have been taking things a bit out of control; drinking 3 bottles of wine, slaughtered my arm which fucking stings like fuck, ate fuck loads of shit including pizza, chocolate, chips, crisps and pasta, and i purged a great deal earlier which i havent done for a while. Yeah!!!
i had to say bye to my guinea pigs. Tried to teach mum how to pick them up but failed terribly lol but im sure my dad can do it. I thought maybe it would be good for my mum as she cant do much now and she got told by the end of the month she will be more likely to be in a wheelchair so thought itll be something she could do still even with a wheelchair; cuddle the guinea pigs. She has hold them a few times when i gave them to her but shes never picked them up herself and today she sort of grabbed their ribs rather than their bellies like i do. I had a good cuddle with them, TubTub was grumpy today but Rapey was cool and i brought him into my dads room and we had a big chat and i think Rapey started to get hungry as at first he nibbled at my top and then he nibbled at my boob :S lol silly guinea pig, fatty lil things, im so gonna miss them and their lil crater heads :)
take care my lovelies!!!
wish me luck!
lv ya loads and cya in 4 months
lv emz xoxo