Aeternus Eternus...Part 5
Aeternus Eternus (Memories of you and me) Part 5...
Part 1 HERE...
Castiel and Dean landed in a flutter of wings and displaced air in an alleyway across the street from the smouldering ruins of the motel in Omaha. Shaken by the affects of time travel that he would never get used to, Dean bent over slightly, drawing in a deep breath. He took a second to get his bearings. He noticed his brother, standing off to the side from a bunch of curious onlookers hovering behind the police tape around the motel.
Dean looked up at Castiel. The angel held his gaze for a moment, smiling ever so slightly.
"I have to go," Castiel said quietly.
Dean just nodded, incapable of thinking of anything to say. Castiel disappeared. Dean could still feel the warmth of the angel's hand on his shoulder as he noticed Sam had seen him and was rushing across the road. He realised too late he hadn't asked Castiel where he was going to open the gate to purgatory, and had no way to find him.
"Dean, what the hell happened? Are you okay? Did Cas do this?" Sam asked in a rush of words, waving his hand at the motel, at the same time as he tried to check Dean over for injuries.
"I'm fine," Dean said looking up into his worried brother's eyes.
He felt strangely disconnected after being dumped back into his own time. He really ought to tell Castiel to stop doing shit like that; it really wasn't good for his digestive system.
"Dean, what's going on?" Sam asked again.
Dean shook himself, remembering that Sam had no idea what had happened over the last few days, that as far as he and Bobby were concerned, Castiel had just gone darkside and they had to stop him. Dean really didn't know how he could tell them he understood Castiel choices, and that he and the angel had finally acted on all the pent up emotion between them.
He decided to go with the easy part of the story first.
"Raphael," he said looking past his brother to the burnt out motel. The archangel really had done an impressive job of destroying it. He hadn't stopped to think how Raphael had found them until now. He wondered if Castiel would stay safe long enough to open purgatory.
"How did he find you?" Sam asked, unknowingly echoing Dean's thoughts.
"I don't know."
"And Cas?"
"Saved my ass again," Dean said defensively.
Sam looked like he was about to question Castiel's motives again, but seemed to think better of it when Dean glared at him.
"We should get out of here, where the hell's my car?" Dean said, looking around for the Impala.
Sam pointed down the street to where she was parked. "I hotwired it and moved it before the cops started poking around," Sam said.
Dean headed towards it, avoiding the cops and crowd of onlookers. It was just as well Castiel had landed them out of sight. He slid into the familiar comfort of the Impala, and pulled out onto the street. He spent the two hours it took to drive back to Bobby's trying to explain to Sam what had happened, finding himself skimming over much of the details, as his brother seemed more concerned with what was about to happen and the consequences they had no way of predicting, than listening to Dean's arguments that the angel was doing what he had to in order to stop Raphael.
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Dean was sitting on the couch in Bobby's living room. Bobby and Sam were standing in front of him, staring at him like he had lost whatever little sense he had.
"So, you just want to let Cas open purgatory? Have you lost your mind?" Bobby asked.
"Not want to, have to. I'm not saying it's a good idea, it's a crap plan, but right now it's our only plan," Dean replied quietly.
He had been arguing with Bobby and Sam since he walked through the door an hour ago, and he wasn't winning. Not when their arguments echoed his own thoughts. He didn't want to lose Castiel, and could feel himself starting to be swayed by their logic; his own emotions getting in the way of what he was starting to think may be the only way to stop Raphael.
They had no other way of stopping Raphael, but he didn't want to lose Castiel. He couldn't help but wonder just what he would give up to keep the angel safe, what he would sacrifice.
"Dean we still have time to stop him," Sam said, sitting down next to his brother.
"And what then? You got any ideas how to stop Raphael?"
"We'll come up with something."
Dean knew this was an argument he wasn't going to win. "Fine."
"Do you know where he is?" Sam asked, looking relieved that Dean was finally seeing sense.
"No," Dean answered.
"Dean?"
"I don't know Sam."
Sam stood up again, pacing. "We know someone who might," he said a moment later. "Balthazar."
"He isn't exactly the most forthcoming of people," Bobby said.
Sam ignored him. "I'm summoning him right now. You coming?" he asked Dean as he headed outside.
Dean hesitated before getting up to follow his brother outside.
"Dean, what happens to Cas if he goes ahead with this plan?" Bobby asked, grabbing Dean by the elbow as he walked past.
Dean stopped, swallowing thickly. "It will probably destroy him," he said, not able to meet Bobby's eyes.
"And you still want to let him go ahead with it?"
Dean looked up, "it's a choice between saving everyone, or saving Castiel. It should be an easy choice. "
Bobby looked at him searchingly, compassion softening his eyes as he knew full well that the choice was tearing Dean apart. "I'm sorry Dean. Maybe if we stop Castiel, we can find another way."
"And maybe we won't," Dean replied. "You willing to take that chance? I'll come with you, but I won't help you stop Cas. We have to let him do this."
Dean walked outside. He would go with them. Not to stop Castiel, but because he had promised not to let Castiel do it alone.
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They waited after Sam had finished the summoning spell. The minutes dragging by, eating away at Dean's composure, until Balthazar finally turned up ten minutes later.
"Before you go off on some carefully planned rant full of thinly veiled threats, I know why you called me here," Balthazar said as he appeared, lounging against a pile of crates, sipping from a martini glass. "Shaken not stirred," he said raising his glass, "gotta love the classics."
"You know why we called you here?" Sam asked impatiently.
"Yes, yes. Wayward angel and all that. Did I ever tell you about the wonderful summer I spent in Rome, sucking olives from a dark haired beauty's navel?" He asked as he sucked an olive off the toothpick. "Hmm, good times, you should try it one day."
"Balthazar, we don't have time this," Sam said through gritted teeth.
"You should make time, I'm fascinating. No one ever seems to appreciate that."
"Fascinating is not the word I'd go with," Bobby said gruffly.
"Right, down to business then. Honestly, you're incredibly dull, I really don't know what Cas finds so interesting about you. Not that he is exactly a barrel of laughs I suppose. And speaking of my dear brother, you want to know where to find him, yes?'
"Yes," Bobby and Sam replied at the same time.
"As humourless as Cas is, he is the only brother I missed when I faked my own demise. I take it you want to stop him from going through with this rather unpleasant plan of his?"
"Yes..." Sam tried to interrupt.
"The whole thing is rather audacious, idiotic, but then Cassie always was horrendously faithful to a fault," Balthazar continued over the top of Sam's interruption, apparently fascinated with his own monologueing. "In principle it's a good idea, bit on the bold side, not sure it's worth the bother for a bunch of hairless apes."
"Balthazar," Dean finally interrupted quietly.
"Ah he speaks," Balthazar said, looking up at Dean who had been hanging back silently.
"We need to find Castiel. Where is he?"
"Well he's probably at Crowley's hideout," Balthazar said, finally actually answering a question. "I'd hurry along if I were you."
Balthazar pointed a finger at Sam, who shook his head slightly.
"Sam?" Bobby asked.
"He just showed me where Crowley's hideout is," Sam said turning to leave now he had the information they needed.
Bobby glanced between Dean and the angel before following Sam, leaving Dean and Balthazar alone for a moment.
"You know you can't stop him, don't you Dean?" Balthazar asked, letting the insincerity drop briefly.
"Yes."
"But you'll go anyway?"
"I promised I wouldn't let him do it alone," Dean said determinedly.
"Of course you did."
"What will happen to him? Cas told me it could destroy him."
"Well yes, I did try to talk him out of it, has a slight stubborn streak, don't know if you've ever noticed that."
"What will happen?" Dean asked, trying unsuccessfully to hide the catch in his voice.
"Don't really know, nothing good. He could simply explode from that much power, if he doesn't, chances are it will burn away everything that makes him, him."
Dean nodded, not really sure if knowing what to expect made it any easier.
Balthazar took a few steps closer to Dean, catching his eyes, and looking deep inside him. "What are you thinking of doing?" he asked.
"I'm not sure yet," Dean replied, before turning away and following Bobby and Sam to the Impala.
"They really are well suited. Sacrificial fools," Balthazar whispered to himself before disappearing.
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Castiel leant against a rickety table inside Crowley's hideout, which he had come to loathe. Everything about it was a physical manifestation of how far he had fallen. The shiny, newly resurrected angel that so many of his brothers and sisters had turned to in desperate hope, who had in turn taken the desperate hope offered to him by Crowley of all people.
He had never wanted to lead the others. All he wanted was peace, the freedom to choose his own path. He never thought that would lead him here, about to do something that would most likely twist him into something unrecognisable. Castiel wondered if Dean had really understood what he was about to do when they had last spoken, and Dean had offered his trust, support and so much more.
He doubted it, which was probably for the best. He didn't want to cause any more pain.
Castiel didn't bother to look up as Crowley appeared. The demon walked over carrying the last component needed to open the door, the blood of a creature from purgatory. Castiel hadn't had the heart to go with Crowley to collect it. After everything he had done in the last year to accomplish his plan, he wasn't really sure what difference killing one more creature would have made, but he hadn't been able to do it anyway.
"You're not having second thoughts now we're getting to the pointy end of things are you?" Crowley asked.
Castiel finally looked up at him and took the bottle of blood. "No, I'm not. But my plan was never for us to open purgatory together. I'm renegotiating our terms."
"Is that so? What terms do you propose?"
"You get nothing. Not one single soul."
"You wouldn't dare. I brought you this deal.”
"You think I'm handing all that power to the King of Hell?"
"We made a pact. Even I don't break contracts like this," Crowley growled.
"Here are your options," Castiel continued, ignoring Crowley's protests, his voice low and dangerous. "You either flee, or die."
Crowley glared at him for a second before disappearing.
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Dean let Sam drive the Impala to Crowley's hideout. He spent the trip in silence, staring out of the window, wondering if anything would ever be the same again. The blurry shapes of buildings and trees passing by in the darkness somehow seemed fitting. A colourless world that slept in ignorance, with no idea of the sacrifices made to save it.
Dean finally looked ahead as they drove slowly up the road to the empty building that Crowley was using as a base. They could see figures in the building, angels or demons; whichever they were, Dean, Sam and Bobby would most likely have to fight their way through to Castiel.
The air in the Impala was heavy, silent. No one seemed to want to say anything as they all studied the heavily guarded building they had to penetrate. Dean could feel Sam's eyes on him. Could almost hear the argument he was about to launch into yet again for why they have to stop Castiel. Dean didn't want to hear it again.
Dean was about to roll his eyes, and tell Sam to shut up and just get on with it, when they all heard a noise, loud and rushing towards them. Dean glanced up at the rear view mirror, just in time to see the darkness behind them was moving, filled with demon smoke, before the Impala was surrounded, and everything was tipped upside down. The Impala skidded to a halt on its roof, its three passengers hanging from their seat belts.
"Sam!" Dean yelled as he unbuckled himself, falling in a tangled heap.
He heard a moan from the backseat and a thud as Bobby released himself from his seatbelt. Dean squirmed in the confined space until he was facing his brother, who was groggily opening his eyes.
"Sam?"
"I’m fine," Sam answered as he fumbled with the seatbelt. "What happened?"
"Demons."
The brother's crawled through the window, trying to avoid broken glass. Dean gave Sam a cursory glance to make sure he was okay, before helping Bobby. The doors were all jammed, and the roof was too dinged in for Bobby to crawl out through the front. Dean indicated for Bobby to cover himself, and started to kick in the back window.
Sam kept an eye out in case the demons returned as he pulled supplies from the trunk.
"He okay?" Sam asked as Dean managed to kick in the glass.
"Peachy," Bobby grumbled as Dean pulled him out.
"Well, this is off to a great start," Dean mumbled, grabbing ammunition from Sam.
In unspoken agreement, they all moved away from the wreckage of the Impala. The demon smoke was nowhere to be seen for now at least. They were undoubtedly waiting to attack them somewhere more to the demons advantage, which could be just about anywhere.
The building was huge, but light only seemed to be coming from one section of it. Dean nodded his head in the direction of the light.
"We got any genius ideas, or are we just blindly running towards the demon infested building?" Bobby asked.
Dean just smiled recklessly and started to run towards the only door he could see, his heart beating a million miles an hour in his chest. He had a very bad feeling that those demons were not part of Castiel's plan.
"Winging it then," Bobby said as he and Sam followed.
Dean barely had time to notice whether Sam and Bobby were following him, before he spotted three figures coming out of the shadows to the side of the door. He started firing, hoping the bullets would distract the demons long enough for them all to get through the door. As he got closer he dropped the empty gun and pulled out the angel blade that Castiel had given him. He grappled with one of the demons, slicing it across the throat, jaw clenched with satisfaction when the blade worked as well on the demon as it did on angels.
The attack barely took any speed from his head long pursuit and he barrelled into the door, forcing it open. He stumbled through, turning as he did to see Sam and Bobby not far behind him. Sam despatched another of the demons and looked up at Dean, just as the door slammed shut.
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Castiel could hear screams coming from outside. He looked up as the lights started to flicker, and turned to see Crowley appear.
"Never underestimate the King of Hell, darling. I know a lot of swell tricks. Now, I think it's time to re-renegotiate our terms," Crowley said.
Castiel started towards him, intent on destroying the arrogant demon when Crowley shook a finger at him. "I wouldn't try that, mate. I'm safe and sound under the wing of my new partner."
"Hello, Castiel."
Castiel stopped as he saw Raphael appear. He looked back to Crowley. "You fool. Raphael will deceive and destroy you at the speed of thought."
"I'll take my chances," Crowley replied. "Oh, and we'll be needing that," he said, indicating the bottle of blood Castiel was holding.
Castiel tossed it to him. He spared a moment to glare at Raphael before disappearing. He reappeared in a small room at the other end of the building that he had prepared months ago.
Actually, it technically wasn't in the building. He had spent weeks building and warding it. He couldn't risk the chance that Crowley or Raphael would discover it. It was his own version of the green room where Zachariah had taken Dean, one that no one else could find if they didn't already know its location.
Castiel heard a flutter of wings. "You're late," he said without bothering to turn around.
"Yes, well, you know me," Balthazar said flippantly, "always fashionable."
After he had come back from the past with Dean, Castiel had told Balthazar about his entire plan, about this room. He wasn't really sure why, but in all his years as the faithful soldier, Balthazar had been the only one of his brothers that had been a friend. He thought it ironic that the iniquitous angel would be the only brother to truly stand by him in the end.
Castiel spared a moment to glare at the angel as he prepared to open the gateway with the real bottle of blood. "We don't have much time."
"Well I was a little distracted by all the scampering outside. You do know that Dean and his band of merry men are here. Well two men, not really sure if that constitutes a band."
Castiel looked up, "Dean is here? He said he wasn't going to try and stop me."
"Oh, he's not here to stop you. Sam and Bobby might be still toying with the notion, but not Dean. He said something about not letting you do this alone. Apparently he doesn't think my charming company is enough to see you off into oblivion, or wherever this will lead you," Balthazar said, waving vaguely at the sigils Castiel had been drawing on the wall.
"Balthazar..." Castiel said quietly.
"I know, I know," Balthazar said cutting him off. "I'll go help your hairless ape while you finish up here." Balthazar paused for a moment, suddenly serious, "Castiel, I..." he paused, for once looking lost for words. He smiled sadly. "Try not to explode," he said with forced flippancy before flying off again.
Castiel hesitated for a moment before going back to drawing sigils with the blood. Trying not to let himself be distracted by worry for Dean, and even Balthazar, and make a mistake.
Castiel stared up at the wall as he finished the last sigil. He closed his eyes. He breathed in deeply. His thoughts with the stubborn hunter who had shown him what love truly was. He thought of Dean's green eyes, of his sarcasm and perplexing nature. He thought of his too infrequent smile, and the way it curved his lips. He thought of the warmth of Dean's body as it moved against his. He breathed out, slamming his hand against the centre of the sigils as he did, and completing the spell.
"Goodbye Dean," he whispered, as light exploded out of the wall and surrounded him.
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"Sam!" Dean yelled, beating his fist against the closed door.
"Dean?" Sam called back.
Dean could hear Sam bashing against the other side of the door trying to open it. It wasn't budging though, something more than just wood and the lock keeping it shut.
"Sam, Bobby, I'm fine. You'll have to find another way in."
"What are you doing?" Sam yelled.
"What I came here for," Dean said quietly, not sure if Sam could hear him.
He turned and walked down the hallway. It was dark. There was a light at the end and he started to walk towards it. Generally not a good idea, but he had nowhere else to go. His fingers shifted their grip on the sword as he moved, senses in overdrive trying to pick up the faintest sound or movement, to give him as much warning as possible before something jumped out at him.
He reached the end of the hall, and it opened up into another corridor. He looked left and could see a fluorescent tube flickering further down. He turned right though. Heading in the direction he had seen the light shining out the windows when they had first arrived, instinct telling him that was where he had to go.
He stopped suddenly when he heard someone scream. The sound died away, he took a second to get his bearings and started moving faster towards it.
"You know most people head away from the screams."
Dean resisted the urge to jump, something he had gotten very used to.
"Well I'm not most people," Dean said as he turned around to see Balthazar standing behind him. "What are you doing here?"
"Helping a friend," Balthazar answered casually.
"Since when are we friends?"
"Who said I was talking about you. Do you mind pointing that thing somewhere else?" Balthazar said, using two fingers to push aside the angel blade as he walked past Dean.
"Where's Cas?"
"Busy."
"Busy where?"
Balthazar looked up the staircase in front of them as the sound of running feet drifted down to them.
"You know, this really isn't the place to stand around on those bandy legs of yours being all indignant."
Dean looked up as well, when half a dozen demons came running down the stairs.
"Back in a sec," Balthazar said before disappearing.
"Son of a bitch!" Dean called out in frustration, thrusting out the blade as the first demon was on him.
He fought scrappily, bouncing of the wall in the confined space as another demon launched itself at him. Killing one, and taking a blow to his head from another. He stumbled backwards, trying to find some space between himself and the demons to get enough room to move.
He was too occupied with a demon possessing a burly red head that he didn't notice two of the demons at the back stiffen, flicker, and fall to the ground. Suddenly he had more room to move as the three demons left were distracted by the angel at their backs. Dean used the distraction to gank the red head. He looked up just in time to see Balthazar brutally drive his blade through the chest of one demon, as the remaining one screamed beneath his other hand, light flickering beneath the vessel's skin before it slumped to the floor.
Dean looked at Balthazar, surprised and fractionally guilty at his assumption that Balthazar had done his usual trick and vanished instead of being useful.
"What, you didn't think Castiel was the only badass angel did you? I tell you, no one appreciates me." Balthazar said exaggeratedly. He looked down at his bloodied blade. "I prefer sex and booze, but this is kind of a kick too."
Dean could hear voices coming from a room down the hall. He started towards it, but Balthazar stopped him, pushing him back against the wall.
"What are you doing?" Dean asked.
"I can't protect you from what's in that room, Dean," Balthazar said quietly.
"I don't need protecting."
"Hmm, yes I'm sure you'd quite happily play chicken with a T-Rex. Not really my point though," Balthazar said, looking distracted, his eyes on the doorway down the hall.
Dean was struck by the sudden sadness he could see in the angel's features. He really hadn't thought Balthazar cared about anything, but something was happening in that room, something that he actually, truly cared about. Whatever it was, it had distracted Balthazar enough for Dean to push past him, and run to the doorway.
Dean rushed through the door. He was half way down the stairs into a large open room, before he fully noticed who was there. All he had seen as he came through the door was Crowley performing the ritual to open the door. He didn't notice Raphael until it was too late. He flung the angel blade at him in vain hope, which of course never really works. Raphael caught it and threw Dean back against the wall.
Winded from his collision with the wall, Dean took a moment to register that he hurt all over before he could pay attention to anything else. Panic rose up, flooding through him as he realised that he couldn’t move, he was stuck fast where Raphael was holding him; keeping him out of the way.
Dean briefly wondered where Balthazar had gotten to this time, not that there was anything the angel could do against Raphael except die. Dean watched as Crowley finished the ritual, his mind trying its best to skip the part where Castiel wasn't here, trying not to think he was too late and Castiel was dead.
Crowley and Raphael looked at the blood covered wall expectantly, but nothing happened. Dean was just as confused as they were, until he saw Castiel appear. Dean felt momentarily relieved, until he realised something wasn't quite right.
Dean knew that Crowley and Raphael where saying something, but the words were lost to him. He couldn't look away from Castiel. He realised it wasn't really Castiel a moment before Crowley did. Dean was vaguely aware of Crowley leaving, of Raphael pleading. He finally tore his eyes away from Castiel the moment Raphael exploded.
He stumbled slightly as the power holding him to the wall extinguished the same time as Raphael did. He walked the rest of the way down the stairs slowly, his mind on autopilot.
"Cas?" He asked quietly as he reached the bottom.
Castiel turned to him, so much power throbbing from him that Dean could feel it in the air. He noticed movement on the other side of the room as Sam and Bobby came through another door, he noticed Balthazar behind them, and absently thought so that's where he got to.
Dean's eyes went back to Castiel. He wasn't really sure what to do or say. He noticed Sam pick up Raphael's sword.
"Cas?" Dean asked again.
"I saved you, Dean," Castiel said without any emotion.
Dean tried to think of what to say, but no words would come to him.
"You can't imagine what it's like. They're all inside me. Millions upon millions of souls," Castiel said in a voice that sounded nothing like the angel he knew. "You're afraid," he continued, his head tilting in a way that was so familiar, yet horribly distorted, as he studied Dean.
"Sam, no!" Dean yelled in warning just as Sam stabbed Castiel in the back.
Dean's breath caught in his throat for a moment, before he saw Castiel slowly draw the blade out of his back, glance at Sam unconcerned, before turning back to face Dean.
Dean swallowed past the lump in his throat. Castiel was lost to him.
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In a park across the city, Chuck sighed. He wished things could have gone differently, but there hadn't been any other way it could go. He had interfered enough as it was.
"Have you come to say you told me so?" Chuck asked.
"I told you it never ends well. Of course, I'm not quite sure this is the end."
Chuck looked up at Death. "It isn't?"
Death just shrugged at him. Chuck was sure Death liked being mysterious just to infuriate him.
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Sam and Bobby crossed the room to stand with Dean. Dean could feel both of them glance at him, but he didn't look away from Castiel. He didn't care what they said, what arguments they made or if the begged. He was not going to abandon Castiel.
As Castiel stared at him, power emanating from him, Dean held onto the hope that there was something left of the angel he loved. That somewhere in there, amongst those millions of monstrous souls, Castiel still existed. He held onto the bond between them, hoping Castiel would find his way back home.
"Bobby, Sam, get out of here," Dean said quietly.
"Dean, no," Sam said taking a step towards him.
"Now!"Dean yelled, not taking his eyes off Castiel.
Neither of them moved, he could almost feel them pleading for him run, to get away before whatever Castiel had become decided to destroy them all.
Dean glanced to the side, to where Balthazar was standing. The angel tore his eyes away from his brother. Dean could understand Balthazar's pain. He may have said a lot of unkind things about Balthazar in the past, but he knew now that the angel cared. Balthazar may not have given a crap about the archangels or their petty squabbling, but he cared about Castiel.
Dean hoped Balthazar would understand what he was going to do. The angel looked like he was about to say something, but he didn't. He just nodded his head slightly and stepped behind Sam and Bobby, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. The three of them disappeared.
Dean took a shuddering breath. Of all the stupid things he had ever done, this was probably the stupidest.
He stepped towards Castiel. The angel, or whatever he was now, hadn't moved, hadn't stopped staring at Dean with that impassive expression. Dean reached a hand out, not hesitating, even when he felt a tingling pain spread through his body. As his hand gently touched Castiel's chest, it felt like the world exploded.
Dean's last thought was of his hands, slowly caressing Castiel's stomach in a dingy motel room, mapping each groove, memorising it, like it was a map he would need to find his way home one day. A way home for both of them.
Chuck looked across at Death, for the first time in longer than even he could remember, he was surprised. Death just smiled at him and walked away.
Chuck's attention went back to the room across town. He could still feel the lingering presence of Death. He guessed he wasn't the only one who interfered after all...who knew Death could be a romantic.
He smiled to himself. Two souls, lost for the moment, but he had no doubt that one way or another, they would find their way home.
Part 1 HERE...
Castiel and Dean landed in a flutter of wings and displaced air in an alleyway across the street from the smouldering ruins of the motel in Omaha. Shaken by the affects of time travel that he would never get used to, Dean bent over slightly, drawing in a deep breath. He took a second to get his bearings. He noticed his brother, standing off to the side from a bunch of curious onlookers hovering behind the police tape around the motel.
Dean looked up at Castiel. The angel held his gaze for a moment, smiling ever so slightly.
"I have to go," Castiel said quietly.
Dean just nodded, incapable of thinking of anything to say. Castiel disappeared. Dean could still feel the warmth of the angel's hand on his shoulder as he noticed Sam had seen him and was rushing across the road. He realised too late he hadn't asked Castiel where he was going to open the gate to purgatory, and had no way to find him.
"Dean, what the hell happened? Are you okay? Did Cas do this?" Sam asked in a rush of words, waving his hand at the motel, at the same time as he tried to check Dean over for injuries.
"I'm fine," Dean said looking up into his worried brother's eyes.
He felt strangely disconnected after being dumped back into his own time. He really ought to tell Castiel to stop doing shit like that; it really wasn't good for his digestive system.
"Dean, what's going on?" Sam asked again.
Dean shook himself, remembering that Sam had no idea what had happened over the last few days, that as far as he and Bobby were concerned, Castiel had just gone darkside and they had to stop him. Dean really didn't know how he could tell them he understood Castiel choices, and that he and the angel had finally acted on all the pent up emotion between them.
He decided to go with the easy part of the story first.
"Raphael," he said looking past his brother to the burnt out motel. The archangel really had done an impressive job of destroying it. He hadn't stopped to think how Raphael had found them until now. He wondered if Castiel would stay safe long enough to open purgatory.
"How did he find you?" Sam asked, unknowingly echoing Dean's thoughts.
"I don't know."
"And Cas?"
"Saved my ass again," Dean said defensively.
Sam looked like he was about to question Castiel's motives again, but seemed to think better of it when Dean glared at him.
"We should get out of here, where the hell's my car?" Dean said, looking around for the Impala.
Sam pointed down the street to where she was parked. "I hotwired it and moved it before the cops started poking around," Sam said.
Dean headed towards it, avoiding the cops and crowd of onlookers. It was just as well Castiel had landed them out of sight. He slid into the familiar comfort of the Impala, and pulled out onto the street. He spent the two hours it took to drive back to Bobby's trying to explain to Sam what had happened, finding himself skimming over much of the details, as his brother seemed more concerned with what was about to happen and the consequences they had no way of predicting, than listening to Dean's arguments that the angel was doing what he had to in order to stop Raphael.
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Dean was sitting on the couch in Bobby's living room. Bobby and Sam were standing in front of him, staring at him like he had lost whatever little sense he had.
"So, you just want to let Cas open purgatory? Have you lost your mind?" Bobby asked.
"Not want to, have to. I'm not saying it's a good idea, it's a crap plan, but right now it's our only plan," Dean replied quietly.
He had been arguing with Bobby and Sam since he walked through the door an hour ago, and he wasn't winning. Not when their arguments echoed his own thoughts. He didn't want to lose Castiel, and could feel himself starting to be swayed by their logic; his own emotions getting in the way of what he was starting to think may be the only way to stop Raphael.
They had no other way of stopping Raphael, but he didn't want to lose Castiel. He couldn't help but wonder just what he would give up to keep the angel safe, what he would sacrifice.
"Dean we still have time to stop him," Sam said, sitting down next to his brother.
"And what then? You got any ideas how to stop Raphael?"
"We'll come up with something."
Dean knew this was an argument he wasn't going to win. "Fine."
"Do you know where he is?" Sam asked, looking relieved that Dean was finally seeing sense.
"No," Dean answered.
"Dean?"
"I don't know Sam."
Sam stood up again, pacing. "We know someone who might," he said a moment later. "Balthazar."
"He isn't exactly the most forthcoming of people," Bobby said.
Sam ignored him. "I'm summoning him right now. You coming?" he asked Dean as he headed outside.
Dean hesitated before getting up to follow his brother outside.
"Dean, what happens to Cas if he goes ahead with this plan?" Bobby asked, grabbing Dean by the elbow as he walked past.
Dean stopped, swallowing thickly. "It will probably destroy him," he said, not able to meet Bobby's eyes.
"And you still want to let him go ahead with it?"
Dean looked up, "it's a choice between saving everyone, or saving Castiel. It should be an easy choice. "
Bobby looked at him searchingly, compassion softening his eyes as he knew full well that the choice was tearing Dean apart. "I'm sorry Dean. Maybe if we stop Castiel, we can find another way."
"And maybe we won't," Dean replied. "You willing to take that chance? I'll come with you, but I won't help you stop Cas. We have to let him do this."
Dean walked outside. He would go with them. Not to stop Castiel, but because he had promised not to let Castiel do it alone.
................................
They waited after Sam had finished the summoning spell. The minutes dragging by, eating away at Dean's composure, until Balthazar finally turned up ten minutes later.
"Before you go off on some carefully planned rant full of thinly veiled threats, I know why you called me here," Balthazar said as he appeared, lounging against a pile of crates, sipping from a martini glass. "Shaken not stirred," he said raising his glass, "gotta love the classics."
"You know why we called you here?" Sam asked impatiently.
"Yes, yes. Wayward angel and all that. Did I ever tell you about the wonderful summer I spent in Rome, sucking olives from a dark haired beauty's navel?" He asked as he sucked an olive off the toothpick. "Hmm, good times, you should try it one day."
"Balthazar, we don't have time this," Sam said through gritted teeth.
"You should make time, I'm fascinating. No one ever seems to appreciate that."
"Fascinating is not the word I'd go with," Bobby said gruffly.
"Right, down to business then. Honestly, you're incredibly dull, I really don't know what Cas finds so interesting about you. Not that he is exactly a barrel of laughs I suppose. And speaking of my dear brother, you want to know where to find him, yes?'
"Yes," Bobby and Sam replied at the same time.
"As humourless as Cas is, he is the only brother I missed when I faked my own demise. I take it you want to stop him from going through with this rather unpleasant plan of his?"
"Yes..." Sam tried to interrupt.
"The whole thing is rather audacious, idiotic, but then Cassie always was horrendously faithful to a fault," Balthazar continued over the top of Sam's interruption, apparently fascinated with his own monologueing. "In principle it's a good idea, bit on the bold side, not sure it's worth the bother for a bunch of hairless apes."
"Balthazar," Dean finally interrupted quietly.
"Ah he speaks," Balthazar said, looking up at Dean who had been hanging back silently.
"We need to find Castiel. Where is he?"
"Well he's probably at Crowley's hideout," Balthazar said, finally actually answering a question. "I'd hurry along if I were you."
Balthazar pointed a finger at Sam, who shook his head slightly.
"Sam?" Bobby asked.
"He just showed me where Crowley's hideout is," Sam said turning to leave now he had the information they needed.
Bobby glanced between Dean and the angel before following Sam, leaving Dean and Balthazar alone for a moment.
"You know you can't stop him, don't you Dean?" Balthazar asked, letting the insincerity drop briefly.
"Yes."
"But you'll go anyway?"
"I promised I wouldn't let him do it alone," Dean said determinedly.
"Of course you did."
"What will happen to him? Cas told me it could destroy him."
"Well yes, I did try to talk him out of it, has a slight stubborn streak, don't know if you've ever noticed that."
"What will happen?" Dean asked, trying unsuccessfully to hide the catch in his voice.
"Don't really know, nothing good. He could simply explode from that much power, if he doesn't, chances are it will burn away everything that makes him, him."
Dean nodded, not really sure if knowing what to expect made it any easier.
Balthazar took a few steps closer to Dean, catching his eyes, and looking deep inside him. "What are you thinking of doing?" he asked.
"I'm not sure yet," Dean replied, before turning away and following Bobby and Sam to the Impala.
"They really are well suited. Sacrificial fools," Balthazar whispered to himself before disappearing.
................................
Castiel leant against a rickety table inside Crowley's hideout, which he had come to loathe. Everything about it was a physical manifestation of how far he had fallen. The shiny, newly resurrected angel that so many of his brothers and sisters had turned to in desperate hope, who had in turn taken the desperate hope offered to him by Crowley of all people.
He had never wanted to lead the others. All he wanted was peace, the freedom to choose his own path. He never thought that would lead him here, about to do something that would most likely twist him into something unrecognisable. Castiel wondered if Dean had really understood what he was about to do when they had last spoken, and Dean had offered his trust, support and so much more.
He doubted it, which was probably for the best. He didn't want to cause any more pain.
Castiel didn't bother to look up as Crowley appeared. The demon walked over carrying the last component needed to open the door, the blood of a creature from purgatory. Castiel hadn't had the heart to go with Crowley to collect it. After everything he had done in the last year to accomplish his plan, he wasn't really sure what difference killing one more creature would have made, but he hadn't been able to do it anyway.
"You're not having second thoughts now we're getting to the pointy end of things are you?" Crowley asked.
Castiel finally looked up at him and took the bottle of blood. "No, I'm not. But my plan was never for us to open purgatory together. I'm renegotiating our terms."
"Is that so? What terms do you propose?"
"You get nothing. Not one single soul."
"You wouldn't dare. I brought you this deal.”
"You think I'm handing all that power to the King of Hell?"
"We made a pact. Even I don't break contracts like this," Crowley growled.
"Here are your options," Castiel continued, ignoring Crowley's protests, his voice low and dangerous. "You either flee, or die."
Crowley glared at him for a second before disappearing.
................................
Dean let Sam drive the Impala to Crowley's hideout. He spent the trip in silence, staring out of the window, wondering if anything would ever be the same again. The blurry shapes of buildings and trees passing by in the darkness somehow seemed fitting. A colourless world that slept in ignorance, with no idea of the sacrifices made to save it.
Dean finally looked ahead as they drove slowly up the road to the empty building that Crowley was using as a base. They could see figures in the building, angels or demons; whichever they were, Dean, Sam and Bobby would most likely have to fight their way through to Castiel.
The air in the Impala was heavy, silent. No one seemed to want to say anything as they all studied the heavily guarded building they had to penetrate. Dean could feel Sam's eyes on him. Could almost hear the argument he was about to launch into yet again for why they have to stop Castiel. Dean didn't want to hear it again.
Dean was about to roll his eyes, and tell Sam to shut up and just get on with it, when they all heard a noise, loud and rushing towards them. Dean glanced up at the rear view mirror, just in time to see the darkness behind them was moving, filled with demon smoke, before the Impala was surrounded, and everything was tipped upside down. The Impala skidded to a halt on its roof, its three passengers hanging from their seat belts.
"Sam!" Dean yelled as he unbuckled himself, falling in a tangled heap.
He heard a moan from the backseat and a thud as Bobby released himself from his seatbelt. Dean squirmed in the confined space until he was facing his brother, who was groggily opening his eyes.
"Sam?"
"I’m fine," Sam answered as he fumbled with the seatbelt. "What happened?"
"Demons."
The brother's crawled through the window, trying to avoid broken glass. Dean gave Sam a cursory glance to make sure he was okay, before helping Bobby. The doors were all jammed, and the roof was too dinged in for Bobby to crawl out through the front. Dean indicated for Bobby to cover himself, and started to kick in the back window.
Sam kept an eye out in case the demons returned as he pulled supplies from the trunk.
"He okay?" Sam asked as Dean managed to kick in the glass.
"Peachy," Bobby grumbled as Dean pulled him out.
"Well, this is off to a great start," Dean mumbled, grabbing ammunition from Sam.
In unspoken agreement, they all moved away from the wreckage of the Impala. The demon smoke was nowhere to be seen for now at least. They were undoubtedly waiting to attack them somewhere more to the demons advantage, which could be just about anywhere.
The building was huge, but light only seemed to be coming from one section of it. Dean nodded his head in the direction of the light.
"We got any genius ideas, or are we just blindly running towards the demon infested building?" Bobby asked.
Dean just smiled recklessly and started to run towards the only door he could see, his heart beating a million miles an hour in his chest. He had a very bad feeling that those demons were not part of Castiel's plan.
"Winging it then," Bobby said as he and Sam followed.
Dean barely had time to notice whether Sam and Bobby were following him, before he spotted three figures coming out of the shadows to the side of the door. He started firing, hoping the bullets would distract the demons long enough for them all to get through the door. As he got closer he dropped the empty gun and pulled out the angel blade that Castiel had given him. He grappled with one of the demons, slicing it across the throat, jaw clenched with satisfaction when the blade worked as well on the demon as it did on angels.
The attack barely took any speed from his head long pursuit and he barrelled into the door, forcing it open. He stumbled through, turning as he did to see Sam and Bobby not far behind him. Sam despatched another of the demons and looked up at Dean, just as the door slammed shut.
................................
Castiel could hear screams coming from outside. He looked up as the lights started to flicker, and turned to see Crowley appear.
"Never underestimate the King of Hell, darling. I know a lot of swell tricks. Now, I think it's time to re-renegotiate our terms," Crowley said.
Castiel started towards him, intent on destroying the arrogant demon when Crowley shook a finger at him. "I wouldn't try that, mate. I'm safe and sound under the wing of my new partner."
"Hello, Castiel."
Castiel stopped as he saw Raphael appear. He looked back to Crowley. "You fool. Raphael will deceive and destroy you at the speed of thought."
"I'll take my chances," Crowley replied. "Oh, and we'll be needing that," he said, indicating the bottle of blood Castiel was holding.
Castiel tossed it to him. He spared a moment to glare at Raphael before disappearing. He reappeared in a small room at the other end of the building that he had prepared months ago.
Actually, it technically wasn't in the building. He had spent weeks building and warding it. He couldn't risk the chance that Crowley or Raphael would discover it. It was his own version of the green room where Zachariah had taken Dean, one that no one else could find if they didn't already know its location.
Castiel heard a flutter of wings. "You're late," he said without bothering to turn around.
"Yes, well, you know me," Balthazar said flippantly, "always fashionable."
After he had come back from the past with Dean, Castiel had told Balthazar about his entire plan, about this room. He wasn't really sure why, but in all his years as the faithful soldier, Balthazar had been the only one of his brothers that had been a friend. He thought it ironic that the iniquitous angel would be the only brother to truly stand by him in the end.
Castiel spared a moment to glare at the angel as he prepared to open the gateway with the real bottle of blood. "We don't have much time."
"Well I was a little distracted by all the scampering outside. You do know that Dean and his band of merry men are here. Well two men, not really sure if that constitutes a band."
Castiel looked up, "Dean is here? He said he wasn't going to try and stop me."
"Oh, he's not here to stop you. Sam and Bobby might be still toying with the notion, but not Dean. He said something about not letting you do this alone. Apparently he doesn't think my charming company is enough to see you off into oblivion, or wherever this will lead you," Balthazar said, waving vaguely at the sigils Castiel had been drawing on the wall.
"Balthazar..." Castiel said quietly.
"I know, I know," Balthazar said cutting him off. "I'll go help your hairless ape while you finish up here." Balthazar paused for a moment, suddenly serious, "Castiel, I..." he paused, for once looking lost for words. He smiled sadly. "Try not to explode," he said with forced flippancy before flying off again.
Castiel hesitated for a moment before going back to drawing sigils with the blood. Trying not to let himself be distracted by worry for Dean, and even Balthazar, and make a mistake.
Castiel stared up at the wall as he finished the last sigil. He closed his eyes. He breathed in deeply. His thoughts with the stubborn hunter who had shown him what love truly was. He thought of Dean's green eyes, of his sarcasm and perplexing nature. He thought of his too infrequent smile, and the way it curved his lips. He thought of the warmth of Dean's body as it moved against his. He breathed out, slamming his hand against the centre of the sigils as he did, and completing the spell.
"Goodbye Dean," he whispered, as light exploded out of the wall and surrounded him.
................................
"Sam!" Dean yelled, beating his fist against the closed door.
"Dean?" Sam called back.
Dean could hear Sam bashing against the other side of the door trying to open it. It wasn't budging though, something more than just wood and the lock keeping it shut.
"Sam, Bobby, I'm fine. You'll have to find another way in."
"What are you doing?" Sam yelled.
"What I came here for," Dean said quietly, not sure if Sam could hear him.
He turned and walked down the hallway. It was dark. There was a light at the end and he started to walk towards it. Generally not a good idea, but he had nowhere else to go. His fingers shifted their grip on the sword as he moved, senses in overdrive trying to pick up the faintest sound or movement, to give him as much warning as possible before something jumped out at him.
He reached the end of the hall, and it opened up into another corridor. He looked left and could see a fluorescent tube flickering further down. He turned right though. Heading in the direction he had seen the light shining out the windows when they had first arrived, instinct telling him that was where he had to go.
He stopped suddenly when he heard someone scream. The sound died away, he took a second to get his bearings and started moving faster towards it.
"You know most people head away from the screams."
Dean resisted the urge to jump, something he had gotten very used to.
"Well I'm not most people," Dean said as he turned around to see Balthazar standing behind him. "What are you doing here?"
"Helping a friend," Balthazar answered casually.
"Since when are we friends?"
"Who said I was talking about you. Do you mind pointing that thing somewhere else?" Balthazar said, using two fingers to push aside the angel blade as he walked past Dean.
"Where's Cas?"
"Busy."
"Busy where?"
Balthazar looked up the staircase in front of them as the sound of running feet drifted down to them.
"You know, this really isn't the place to stand around on those bandy legs of yours being all indignant."
Dean looked up as well, when half a dozen demons came running down the stairs.
"Back in a sec," Balthazar said before disappearing.
"Son of a bitch!" Dean called out in frustration, thrusting out the blade as the first demon was on him.
He fought scrappily, bouncing of the wall in the confined space as another demon launched itself at him. Killing one, and taking a blow to his head from another. He stumbled backwards, trying to find some space between himself and the demons to get enough room to move.
He was too occupied with a demon possessing a burly red head that he didn't notice two of the demons at the back stiffen, flicker, and fall to the ground. Suddenly he had more room to move as the three demons left were distracted by the angel at their backs. Dean used the distraction to gank the red head. He looked up just in time to see Balthazar brutally drive his blade through the chest of one demon, as the remaining one screamed beneath his other hand, light flickering beneath the vessel's skin before it slumped to the floor.
Dean looked at Balthazar, surprised and fractionally guilty at his assumption that Balthazar had done his usual trick and vanished instead of being useful.
"What, you didn't think Castiel was the only badass angel did you? I tell you, no one appreciates me." Balthazar said exaggeratedly. He looked down at his bloodied blade. "I prefer sex and booze, but this is kind of a kick too."
Dean could hear voices coming from a room down the hall. He started towards it, but Balthazar stopped him, pushing him back against the wall.
"What are you doing?" Dean asked.
"I can't protect you from what's in that room, Dean," Balthazar said quietly.
"I don't need protecting."
"Hmm, yes I'm sure you'd quite happily play chicken with a T-Rex. Not really my point though," Balthazar said, looking distracted, his eyes on the doorway down the hall.
Dean was struck by the sudden sadness he could see in the angel's features. He really hadn't thought Balthazar cared about anything, but something was happening in that room, something that he actually, truly cared about. Whatever it was, it had distracted Balthazar enough for Dean to push past him, and run to the doorway.
Dean rushed through the door. He was half way down the stairs into a large open room, before he fully noticed who was there. All he had seen as he came through the door was Crowley performing the ritual to open the door. He didn't notice Raphael until it was too late. He flung the angel blade at him in vain hope, which of course never really works. Raphael caught it and threw Dean back against the wall.
Winded from his collision with the wall, Dean took a moment to register that he hurt all over before he could pay attention to anything else. Panic rose up, flooding through him as he realised that he couldn’t move, he was stuck fast where Raphael was holding him; keeping him out of the way.
Dean briefly wondered where Balthazar had gotten to this time, not that there was anything the angel could do against Raphael except die. Dean watched as Crowley finished the ritual, his mind trying its best to skip the part where Castiel wasn't here, trying not to think he was too late and Castiel was dead.
Crowley and Raphael looked at the blood covered wall expectantly, but nothing happened. Dean was just as confused as they were, until he saw Castiel appear. Dean felt momentarily relieved, until he realised something wasn't quite right.
Dean knew that Crowley and Raphael where saying something, but the words were lost to him. He couldn't look away from Castiel. He realised it wasn't really Castiel a moment before Crowley did. Dean was vaguely aware of Crowley leaving, of Raphael pleading. He finally tore his eyes away from Castiel the moment Raphael exploded.
He stumbled slightly as the power holding him to the wall extinguished the same time as Raphael did. He walked the rest of the way down the stairs slowly, his mind on autopilot.
"Cas?" He asked quietly as he reached the bottom.
Castiel turned to him, so much power throbbing from him that Dean could feel it in the air. He noticed movement on the other side of the room as Sam and Bobby came through another door, he noticed Balthazar behind them, and absently thought so that's where he got to.
Dean's eyes went back to Castiel. He wasn't really sure what to do or say. He noticed Sam pick up Raphael's sword.
"Cas?" Dean asked again.
"I saved you, Dean," Castiel said without any emotion.
Dean tried to think of what to say, but no words would come to him.
"You can't imagine what it's like. They're all inside me. Millions upon millions of souls," Castiel said in a voice that sounded nothing like the angel he knew. "You're afraid," he continued, his head tilting in a way that was so familiar, yet horribly distorted, as he studied Dean.
"Sam, no!" Dean yelled in warning just as Sam stabbed Castiel in the back.
Dean's breath caught in his throat for a moment, before he saw Castiel slowly draw the blade out of his back, glance at Sam unconcerned, before turning back to face Dean.
Dean swallowed past the lump in his throat. Castiel was lost to him.
................................
In a park across the city, Chuck sighed. He wished things could have gone differently, but there hadn't been any other way it could go. He had interfered enough as it was.
"Have you come to say you told me so?" Chuck asked.
"I told you it never ends well. Of course, I'm not quite sure this is the end."
Chuck looked up at Death. "It isn't?"
Death just shrugged at him. Chuck was sure Death liked being mysterious just to infuriate him.
................................
Sam and Bobby crossed the room to stand with Dean. Dean could feel both of them glance at him, but he didn't look away from Castiel. He didn't care what they said, what arguments they made or if the begged. He was not going to abandon Castiel.
As Castiel stared at him, power emanating from him, Dean held onto the hope that there was something left of the angel he loved. That somewhere in there, amongst those millions of monstrous souls, Castiel still existed. He held onto the bond between them, hoping Castiel would find his way back home.
"Bobby, Sam, get out of here," Dean said quietly.
"Dean, no," Sam said taking a step towards him.
"Now!"Dean yelled, not taking his eyes off Castiel.
Neither of them moved, he could almost feel them pleading for him run, to get away before whatever Castiel had become decided to destroy them all.
Dean glanced to the side, to where Balthazar was standing. The angel tore his eyes away from his brother. Dean could understand Balthazar's pain. He may have said a lot of unkind things about Balthazar in the past, but he knew now that the angel cared. Balthazar may not have given a crap about the archangels or their petty squabbling, but he cared about Castiel.
Dean hoped Balthazar would understand what he was going to do. The angel looked like he was about to say something, but he didn't. He just nodded his head slightly and stepped behind Sam and Bobby, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. The three of them disappeared.
Dean took a shuddering breath. Of all the stupid things he had ever done, this was probably the stupidest.
He stepped towards Castiel. The angel, or whatever he was now, hadn't moved, hadn't stopped staring at Dean with that impassive expression. Dean reached a hand out, not hesitating, even when he felt a tingling pain spread through his body. As his hand gently touched Castiel's chest, it felt like the world exploded.
Dean's last thought was of his hands, slowly caressing Castiel's stomach in a dingy motel room, mapping each groove, memorising it, like it was a map he would need to find his way home one day. A way home for both of them.
Chuck looked across at Death, for the first time in longer than even he could remember, he was surprised. Death just smiled at him and walked away.
Chuck's attention went back to the room across town. He could still feel the lingering presence of Death. He guessed he wasn't the only one who interfered after all...who knew Death could be a romantic.
He smiled to himself. Two souls, lost for the moment, but he had no doubt that one way or another, they would find their way home.