this is my last journal entry unless something significant happens
I went to see my primary care doctor today and I don't think they're ever going to find out what's wrong with me or by the time they get around to a theory I'm going to be a paraplegic and it's going to be too late. I give it another 2 months and I'll be wearing adult diapers because I'm not going to have feeling from the middle of my back down.
I'm weak, I'm getting sick for no reason and I can't eat. I want to eat, but when I try to my head feels weird and my jaw doesn't want to move.
And my mom, god bless her, I know she wants this to be over with but I'm not sure if it matters that I'm better in the end, and my sister has her own family to worry about and she thinks I'm faking it so my support system is myself at the moment and all I want to do is cry. I'm at my wits end here. I want so much to just give up because it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle. I can't see myself getting any better from this, whatever it is that's wrong.
I'm just scared. I'm scared because no one's taking me seriously. I can barley take care of myself and no one think's it's a big deal.
and so that's that. I've said all that I can say at the current time. this is probably my last entry so it was fun while it lasted. bye
I'm weak, I'm getting sick for no reason and I can't eat. I want to eat, but when I try to my head feels weird and my jaw doesn't want to move.
And my mom, god bless her, I know she wants this to be over with but I'm not sure if it matters that I'm better in the end, and my sister has her own family to worry about and she thinks I'm faking it so my support system is myself at the moment and all I want to do is cry. I'm at my wits end here. I want so much to just give up because it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle. I can't see myself getting any better from this, whatever it is that's wrong.
I'm just scared. I'm scared because no one's taking me seriously. I can barley take care of myself and no one think's it's a big deal.
and so that's that. I've said all that I can say at the current time. this is probably my last entry so it was fun while it lasted. bye