Oscars Red Carpet
Okay, look, rat's nest hair seemed to be the trend last night, so rather than continually calling it out, I'm just going to level the paying field as far as that goes, and maybe call out the nice hair. I don't know what the deal is, but clearly a bunch of stylists had these women drinking the Kool Aid on this one.
It was better than last year, but lacked one look that really just knocked me dead.
Anna Kendrick in Elie Saab: The dress is pretty but I don't think it's even a good idea to match a dress too closely to skin tone. It's hard to see the details, which were more apparent on TV. 6
Mo'nique in Tadashi Shoji: Hard to find a good picture of this, but it seems a little ill-fitting. The color is divine, and I liked the flower in the hair for being unique even before I knew it was a tribute to Hattie McDaniel. 5
Faith Hill: The lace looks slightly cheap in this case. 4
Mariah Carey: Even with the leg baring, this is understated from her. Still, something about it doesn't gel for me. 5
Nicole Richie (with Joel Madden): This is very retro, and she really goes for it, which I applaud. 7
Vera Farmiga in Marchesa: Was the dress wearing her? Maybe, but the color is great on her skin, and she took a risk after wearing a lot of bland gowns all season. 8
Elizabeth Banks in Versace: Love her, love the color, love the jeweled headband, but the top is just too tight, which is a shame because it ruins the look for me a bit. 6
Maggie Gyllenhaal in Dries Van Noten: I've seen this critiqued as too casual looking, but it's so her. It moved beautifully, but in this small picture, it's hard to tell if it's wrinkled or if it's just the pattern. 7
Tina Fey in Michael Kors: Black as usual, but still better than her Globes outing. At least it's interesting black. 6
Jane Seymour: She looks hot for a chick her age. That's really all I have to say. 6
Molly Ringwald: The extreme Botox was noticeable when she spoke. Here, I like how interesting this dress is when I am not distracted by her near inability to speak because her face is frozen. 7
Penelope Cruz in Donna Karan: This dress is very her, to the point where it's almost getting tiring, but I really like this one anyway. The color is great on her even if it does match the carpet, which is kind of a no-no. It's ruched like many current dresses, but I feel like she was born to wear that style. I'm torn, though, because I feel like I'd like her to surprise us by wearing something really simple one day. Ah well, I still like it. 8
Amanda Seyfried Armani Prive: I think it would have been better with a form-fitting, sweetheart neckline because she is so diminutive. The dress, which is quite pretty, comes close to wearing her because of the architectural bust. 6
Sarah Jessica Parker in Chanel Couture: Ugh. Ugh. UGH. Shapelessness aside, grey and yellow just look so wrong together.
Jennifer Lopez in Armani Prive: I have seen much praise for this, but it looked like a dinner napkin in texture and the side train is just weird. If anyone can pull it off, I guess she can? 5
Sandra Bullock in Marchesa: It's a little safe, but I can see not wanting a bad dress choice to overshadow an almost certain award. It was chosen to go with the Oscar, clearly, and she looks great, especially her hair. The fuchsia lipstick is another matter. 8
Helen Mirren in Badgley Mischka: Again, looking better than people half her age. I wish she hadn't said those things about date rape, but I'm trying not to be biased by such things. 8
Cameron Diaz in Oscar de la Renta: I heard she hired Rachel Zoe? Well, whatever she did, this is BY FAR the best she's ever looked at one of these things, and she's even one of the best of the night. 9
Kate Winslet in Yves Saint Laurent: It's impeccable but a little staid. I love the necklace but not with that neckline. Hair and makeup are to die for. 7
Meryl Streep in Chris March: SO retro and fab on her. I am glad Chris March has turned her away from boring dressing. 7
Kathryn Bigelow in Yves Saint Lauren Edition Soir: The dress is meh, but I actually don't care and won't grade it because she is the first woman out of 400 nominees over 82 years to win this award, and that means a lot more than who looked good in which designer. She also looks 40 when she's 58, so that's awesome too.
Claudi Llosa: This is kind of crazy cakes, but I don't mind it for some reason. Maybe because it's interesting, unlike the stodgy or prommy stuff most unknowns wear? 6
Demi Moore in Atelier Versace: Finally, someone who can pull of a blush colored gown with her coloring. And whoever painted the portrait she keeps in her attic is to be congratulated. 8
Diane Kruger (with Quentin Tarantino) in Chanel: Please, please, someone tell me that I am not the only person who thinks this was a train wreck? The black is so severe, and looks frayed up close, and not in the intentional way. 2
Kristen Stewart in Monique Lhuillier: This is well played for her. It looks like her, and the posture and scowling are slowly kind of improving. Baby steps. 7
Rachel McAdams in Elie Saab: Gorgeous, slightly better use of print than Gyllenhaal. Best dressed, I think. 9
Carey Mulligan in Prada: It's got little knives, forks and keys on it, apparently, which is witty. I like it, and she looks so thrilled to be there (in other pics). 8
Mariska Hargitay in Vera Wang: The expected use of ruching... I could do with one less element, maybe the bow. 6
Miley Cyrus in Jenny Packham: From far away, she looks 20 years older. Her top is also a little too tight. 4
Charlize Theron in Dior Haute Couture: Those boob rosettes look to be attacking her from behind. RUN CHARLIZE RUN!!! Pretty colors, though. 4
Zoe Saldana in Givenchy Couture: Zoe, what happened to you? She and Theron make me feel like this is the year of When Dresses Attack. In this case, that awful skirt looks like it's swalling up a fun little cocktail dress. 2
Queen Latifah in Badgley Mischka Couture: Love the color. She looks hot. It looks a little wrinkled, but that may be how she's standing in this picture. 8
Sigourney Weaver in Lanvin: I thought this was very chic and had an interesting jeweled shoulder detail. I dig it. 7
Cheryl Hines: Boring, but I almost don't mind this but the girls need some support. 4
Georgina Chapman: Miz Marchesa herself. There are too many elements, and the fact that skirt tapers is not flattering. 3
Virginia Madsen: Is that leopard print underneath? No, it's lace. Cool, I guess, but the hair is too prom. 6
Gabourey Sidibe in Marchesa: The dress is beautiful and flattering, so I almost hate to say it, but I think the color, while nice, is a bit mature looking. She's way older than Precious is supposed to be, but still. 7
Suzy Amis (with James Cameron): Food is nice; you should try some sometime. The dress is pretty enough but who can even notice it? *sigh* I won't grade it because I am too distracted by her unfortunate skeletenosity.
Luciana Barrosso (with Matt Damon): Pink, fluffy yawn. 6
Susan Levin and Robert Downey, Jr.: Hard to see it here, but her dress was really nice--she pulls off stripes all over her body. And I loved his blue tie and sneakers--but only on him. 7 for the pair.
Natalie Mark (with Sam Worthington): She was one of the better dressed of the girlfriend/wife brigade, I thought. 8
Elisabetta Canalis and George Clooney: Wrinkly, boring dress. Kinda digging Clooney's new scruffy look. Is he doing a retro role now or something? 4 for her, 8 for him.
Melanie Griffith (with Antonio Banderas): I don't even need to see her moving to say Holy Botox, Batman. Plus the dress seems to be all kinds of odd. 3
Gerard Butler: Just because.
It was better than last year, but lacked one look that really just knocked me dead.
Anna Kendrick in Elie Saab: The dress is pretty but I don't think it's even a good idea to match a dress too closely to skin tone. It's hard to see the details, which were more apparent on TV. 6
Mo'nique in Tadashi Shoji: Hard to find a good picture of this, but it seems a little ill-fitting. The color is divine, and I liked the flower in the hair for being unique even before I knew it was a tribute to Hattie McDaniel. 5
Faith Hill: The lace looks slightly cheap in this case. 4
Mariah Carey: Even with the leg baring, this is understated from her. Still, something about it doesn't gel for me. 5
Nicole Richie (with Joel Madden): This is very retro, and she really goes for it, which I applaud. 7
Vera Farmiga in Marchesa: Was the dress wearing her? Maybe, but the color is great on her skin, and she took a risk after wearing a lot of bland gowns all season. 8
Elizabeth Banks in Versace: Love her, love the color, love the jeweled headband, but the top is just too tight, which is a shame because it ruins the look for me a bit. 6
Maggie Gyllenhaal in Dries Van Noten: I've seen this critiqued as too casual looking, but it's so her. It moved beautifully, but in this small picture, it's hard to tell if it's wrinkled or if it's just the pattern. 7
Tina Fey in Michael Kors: Black as usual, but still better than her Globes outing. At least it's interesting black. 6
Jane Seymour: She looks hot for a chick her age. That's really all I have to say. 6
Molly Ringwald: The extreme Botox was noticeable when she spoke. Here, I like how interesting this dress is when I am not distracted by her near inability to speak because her face is frozen. 7
Penelope Cruz in Donna Karan: This dress is very her, to the point where it's almost getting tiring, but I really like this one anyway. The color is great on her even if it does match the carpet, which is kind of a no-no. It's ruched like many current dresses, but I feel like she was born to wear that style. I'm torn, though, because I feel like I'd like her to surprise us by wearing something really simple one day. Ah well, I still like it. 8
Amanda Seyfried Armani Prive: I think it would have been better with a form-fitting, sweetheart neckline because she is so diminutive. The dress, which is quite pretty, comes close to wearing her because of the architectural bust. 6
Sarah Jessica Parker in Chanel Couture: Ugh. Ugh. UGH. Shapelessness aside, grey and yellow just look so wrong together.
Jennifer Lopez in Armani Prive: I have seen much praise for this, but it looked like a dinner napkin in texture and the side train is just weird. If anyone can pull it off, I guess she can? 5
Sandra Bullock in Marchesa: It's a little safe, but I can see not wanting a bad dress choice to overshadow an almost certain award. It was chosen to go with the Oscar, clearly, and she looks great, especially her hair. The fuchsia lipstick is another matter. 8
Helen Mirren in Badgley Mischka: Again, looking better than people half her age. I wish she hadn't said those things about date rape, but I'm trying not to be biased by such things. 8
Cameron Diaz in Oscar de la Renta: I heard she hired Rachel Zoe? Well, whatever she did, this is BY FAR the best she's ever looked at one of these things, and she's even one of the best of the night. 9
Kate Winslet in Yves Saint Laurent: It's impeccable but a little staid. I love the necklace but not with that neckline. Hair and makeup are to die for. 7
Meryl Streep in Chris March: SO retro and fab on her. I am glad Chris March has turned her away from boring dressing. 7
Kathryn Bigelow in Yves Saint Lauren Edition Soir: The dress is meh, but I actually don't care and won't grade it because she is the first woman out of 400 nominees over 82 years to win this award, and that means a lot more than who looked good in which designer. She also looks 40 when she's 58, so that's awesome too.
Claudi Llosa: This is kind of crazy cakes, but I don't mind it for some reason. Maybe because it's interesting, unlike the stodgy or prommy stuff most unknowns wear? 6
Demi Moore in Atelier Versace: Finally, someone who can pull of a blush colored gown with her coloring. And whoever painted the portrait she keeps in her attic is to be congratulated. 8
Diane Kruger (with Quentin Tarantino) in Chanel: Please, please, someone tell me that I am not the only person who thinks this was a train wreck? The black is so severe, and looks frayed up close, and not in the intentional way. 2
Kristen Stewart in Monique Lhuillier: This is well played for her. It looks like her, and the posture and scowling are slowly kind of improving. Baby steps. 7
Rachel McAdams in Elie Saab: Gorgeous, slightly better use of print than Gyllenhaal. Best dressed, I think. 9
Carey Mulligan in Prada: It's got little knives, forks and keys on it, apparently, which is witty. I like it, and she looks so thrilled to be there (in other pics). 8
Mariska Hargitay in Vera Wang: The expected use of ruching... I could do with one less element, maybe the bow. 6
Miley Cyrus in Jenny Packham: From far away, she looks 20 years older. Her top is also a little too tight. 4
Charlize Theron in Dior Haute Couture: Those boob rosettes look to be attacking her from behind. RUN CHARLIZE RUN!!! Pretty colors, though. 4
Zoe Saldana in Givenchy Couture: Zoe, what happened to you? She and Theron make me feel like this is the year of When Dresses Attack. In this case, that awful skirt looks like it's swalling up a fun little cocktail dress. 2
Queen Latifah in Badgley Mischka Couture: Love the color. She looks hot. It looks a little wrinkled, but that may be how she's standing in this picture. 8
Sigourney Weaver in Lanvin: I thought this was very chic and had an interesting jeweled shoulder detail. I dig it. 7
Cheryl Hines: Boring, but I almost don't mind this but the girls need some support. 4
Georgina Chapman: Miz Marchesa herself. There are too many elements, and the fact that skirt tapers is not flattering. 3
Virginia Madsen: Is that leopard print underneath? No, it's lace. Cool, I guess, but the hair is too prom. 6
Gabourey Sidibe in Marchesa: The dress is beautiful and flattering, so I almost hate to say it, but I think the color, while nice, is a bit mature looking. She's way older than Precious is supposed to be, but still. 7
Suzy Amis (with James Cameron): Food is nice; you should try some sometime. The dress is pretty enough but who can even notice it? *sigh* I won't grade it because I am too distracted by her unfortunate skeletenosity.
Luciana Barrosso (with Matt Damon): Pink, fluffy yawn. 6
Susan Levin and Robert Downey, Jr.: Hard to see it here, but her dress was really nice--she pulls off stripes all over her body. And I loved his blue tie and sneakers--but only on him. 7 for the pair.
Natalie Mark (with Sam Worthington): She was one of the better dressed of the girlfriend/wife brigade, I thought. 8
Elisabetta Canalis and George Clooney: Wrinkly, boring dress. Kinda digging Clooney's new scruffy look. Is he doing a retro role now or something? 4 for her, 8 for him.
Melanie Griffith (with Antonio Banderas): I don't even need to see her moving to say Holy Botox, Batman. Plus the dress seems to be all kinds of odd. 3
Gerard Butler: Just because.