Precious Prize for The Loser
Oneshot
Prompt by jasminezilla on this post
Title: Precious Prize for The Loser
Main characters: Cho Kyuhyun, Lee Sungmin
Side characters: Donghae, Zhoumi, Eunhyuk, Sungjin (Some are only mentioned)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff
Alternate Universe
Summary: Sungmin challenged Kyuhyun to play a game.
A/N: I saw this unfinished fic and thought it's such a pity to let it just like that. So I added like only a thousand words. Then it's done! I guess Kyumin always has soft spot in my heart, despite everything.
Such a boring day...
Today I wasn’t in the mood for classes. But I didn’t have any idea where I should go to alleviate my boredom. I had ditched school to visit the game centre four times this week so not only getting bored, I didn’t even have money left. I finally decided to go to the school rooftop to get some fresh air.
Maybe sometimes I needed this. A rest, a break, a little short term escape from my hectic life.
My name’s Cho Kyuhyun. When I was five my parents divorced and neither was willing to take me with them. I was discarded, till my uncle put me in an orphanage. That place was hell to me. The orphanage used to get not good donation and often lack of money, that’s why the children, though some were under-aged, were forced to work, like by selling newspapers or serving shoe-cleaning service on streets.
I had learned how crying and begging wouldn’t get me what I wanted. I had learned that trusting meant letting yourself get stabbed in the mean future. I had learned that putting emotion to things was stupid, and I was not.
Such kind of past created the Kyuhyun everyone knew now. I had been putting that mask on too long, and I needed to remove it once a while or else I would forget who I really was.
To be honest, I was fragile. I hated to admit it, but yes I was. I was not strong. I tended to feel hurt and keep everything inside. I was not cool. I was not a playboy. I was not the most popular guy at school. I wasn’t the Math genius. I wasn’t the image I created for myself to be accepted by other people.
The real Kyuhyun was a kid who loved to play games to put aside the pain the scars on his heart brought. The real Kyuhyun desperately needed someone he could cling to, whom he could trust, love, and that person reciprocated the feelings. Don’t count the girls and boys I dated on weekends. I saw them merely as toys to fill my free time up.
How pathetic.
I sat down, my back facing the wall. The wind was great today. I didn’t regret coming here. It would be such a waste if at the moment I was in the classroom, listening to whatever the teacher was babbling about or worse, sleeping on the desk.
I searched my pocket to find my PSP was not there. I frowned. I had never left it before! But then I remembered that my PSP was currently broken thanks to Donghae’s magical hand. I cursed silently, wondering what I could possibly do to ease this boredom. Cause I hated it. When I had nothing to do, my painful memories would automatically seep out hurting my heart again and again.
As I was thinking, suddenly I heard some noise coming this way. A guy’s voice, I noticed. I stood up and was about to tell whoever it was to fuckin leave but I realized it was Sungmin, the person that was the closest to a best friend I got. That boy was still grumbling incoherently, cursing once a while. He hadn’t realized me being here as well until I called him.
“Sungmin? Why are you here?”
“Kyuhyun?” He looked surprised. “Oh, I just didn’t bring Chemistry book. You know, the last time we went to the arcade, that stupid teacher told the students that her schedule would be swapped with Math. And no one told me about it! I had used it as a reason but then she scolded me, telling it was my fault that I skipped classes in the first place.” Sungmin told me in comical expression. “You?”
“Me? Just bored. I’m not in the mood to study.”
He seemed to understand my reason. Perhaps because he often felt the same. “Well I shall accompany you here.” Sungmin inched closer and sat next to me.
After few minutes of silence, Sungmin began to frown. “So you’ve been here since the first period and all you’ve been doing is spacing out and watching the clouds? Geez, where the hell is your PSP?”
“Ask Hae.”
It was already a vivid explanation to Sungmin. He was not really close to the guy, but Donghae’s anti-electronic hands were known throughout school. Ninety percent of lent gadget didn’t come back in the same condition. If not broken, that meant Donghae had gone to repair it out of guilt. Or bought a new one.
“Wanna borrow this?” He offered his pink Nintendo DS. I still wondered why a troublemaker like him chose such a colour as a favourite. Sure, he was cute and loving looking but his personality could be worse than mine in some cases.
“No, thanks. It’s pink. I don’t touch pink.” Sungmin pouted hearing my excuse. I giggled. He looked cuter that way. “Kidding. I am not in the mood for games now that you come. Tell me some stories, I’m in listening mood.”
“Ah, what a shame. Actually I have an interesting game I got from the internet last night. I thought you fit this game perfectly.” There came a sly grin replacing the pout. I recognized it as a challenge.
Fine. He caught my interest. “What game?”
“It’s for two players. One would be me, the other would be you. Here it is,” he pulled out his i-phone, searching something then showed the screen to me.
I heard you’re a player.
So let’s play a game.
Let’s sweet talk.
Let’s play fight.
Let’s talk 24/7.
Let’s tell each other good morning and good night every day.
Let’s take walks together.
Let’s give each other nicknames.
Let’s hang out with each others’ friends.
Let’s go on dates.
Let’s talk on the phone all night long.
Let’s hold each other.
Let’s kiss and hug.
And whoever falls in love first?
Loses.
“You and me? Seriously?” What a weird game. And it’s done between two males, wouldn’t it be just weirder? As far as I knew Sungmin was straight, while I... I didn’t know. I dated both genders but I never fell in love for real. “What if neither falls in love with each other?”
“Both win and the game is over, perhaps. I don’t know, and I am careless about it. I’m pretty confident with my charm,” Sungmin smirked. He had his own charm, I had to agree. He was actually nearly as popular as I was, but he always rejected every confession he got, saying that he wasn’t interested in loveship. “So you agree? Or you’re afraid of losing? If so, I can try the game with Hyukkie or somebody else.”
And I knew ‘Hyukkie’ as Lee Hyukjae, the dancing machine whom Sungmin was very close to. And somehow I disliked the idea Sungmin playing this game with him. “I’m the game master. There’s no way I’m afraid of losing any games. So fine, let’s see who wins this. When do we start?”
“Why not now? Good thing we’re alone here. Let’s start talking sweetly like lovers.” I nodded in agreement.
...
“...Kyuhyun I don’t even know what to talk about. Say something!”
“Something.”
“What?”
“You told me to say ‘something’ so I did.”
“You... silly. It is sooooo lame.”
It started awkwardly but then we began to chat normally and ended up sweetly. It was not hard. Acting had never been difficult for me after all. It was as simple as putting a mask on your face.
“We need to set a few rules, like, while we’re playing this game, we should act like a real couple. You must not go out with your gazillion dates anymore!”
“Fine for me.”
“And by the way, Kyuhyun, I am the guy in this relationship-like ...right?” His face was full of uncertainties, like he had already known exactly the answer but refused to admit it.
“What are you talking about?” I looked at his eyes ‘lovingly’ and smiled as ‘sweetly’ as I could. “You’re ten centimetres shorter, cuter, and you love pink. Doesn’t that imply something, hmm? Don’t be upset, Sungmin. You’ll get treats from me when we’re on dates.”
He smiled grimly. “Had I known this, I would have asked Hyukkie not you.”
Like you’d be the guy over that Hyukjae, I laughed silently. “You said I fit to the game.”
“I was wrong then. Maybe he fits better.”
“Oh, Sungmin. Don’t be like this. I’ll be jealous if you keep mentioning that dancer friend of yours.”
It was clearly a joking type of a flirting, but I was surprised to notice that his cheeks slightly burned. I never knew he could feel embarrassed so easily. Really, this game started to feel interesting. I could get to know some soft sides of him he never showed anyone. It was kind of priceless.
Honestly I hoped we both won. If he lost, I didn’t know, I was scared if the moment came when he realized he had fallen, he would go away from my life. It would be a great loss, because we had gotten along pretty well now. And I liked having him near me. He could be my best friend if only I allowed my heart to trust somebody.
And if I lost... Tsk, that was highly impossible. I had learned how to control my heart. It was locked, frozen, and isolated. No one would get to see the real me.
+++
Usually I got to meet Sungmin only when I decided to ditch school. I would tell him where I wanted to go, then I would leave with my own group of friends, then he followed an hour or two later by himself. He never was the one the otherwise. So it was either he went off without me or he never ditched if I didn’t.
But now, we began to show off ‘our lovely relationship’ at school. When I was playing cards with Donghae and Zhoumi during break time, Sungmin suddenly came into my class, greeting good morning and saying he wanted to ‘borrow’ me for a while. When I asked him what was wrong, he simply said, “Let’s tell each other good morning and let’s talk 24/7.” God he was seriously serious.
“Soooo... What did you eat this morning?” I appreciated his effort in trying to find a topic though it was very lame.
“Random veggies I didn’t even know the name. I can’t be picky about food, because it’s already provided in the orphanage, unless I have extra money to get food outside on my own.”
Not only Sungmin, I too was surprised when I said that. Never have I told anybody where I lived. But to Sungmin... I hoped he wouldn’t ask me why I lived there. I wasn’t ready to reopen my past and share it.
“I see. Would you like it if I cook for you? I always cook my own food. I don’t mind making extra.”
“Really? That’s so nice of you!!” I ruffled Sungmin’s hair playfully, while he grunted at the action because his neat hair was now ruined. “Hey, cooking for each other is not part of that game, is it?”
“...no. I am naturally nice.”
An evil smirk must have formed on my lips. “Then you don’t mind making me food everyday, three times a day?”
He replied with equally evil grin. “Sure! I’ll even add special ingredients like rat poison and potassium cyanide only for you.”
“Oh my God Sungmin you are really really naturally nice!”
“Yeah I am. Thank you for restating what’s true!”
“Tsk, I don’t know you’re also this witty.”
“Good you know now. Isn’t that partly your influence?”
Who knew wittiness was contagious. I chuckled. Sungmin was really adorable sometimes. After that, there was a quite awkward silence until...
“Kyu...”
I turned, waiting for him to completely call my name but then I blushed. A nickname? “Wha―”
“I’ll call you Kyu. I want to use ‘Kyubear’ instead but it may ruin your reputation.”
Sungmin looked amused seeing my face. Well it felt like my face was burning. Kyubear?! What the hell was that? Such a cute nickname didn’t suit me at all. “Then should I call you Min? Minnie? Minnie mouse?”
“My image is bunny not mouse!” Sungmin giggled. But he seemed delighted at the nickname. “But Min is cute. Call me Minnie!”
I frowned. How could he like that idea? “Min is a girl’s name.”
“...You’re giving me a nickname or not?”
It was my turn to giggle now, because though being irritated he still looked cute. “Kidding, kidding. We’re Kyumin, agree?”
“Agree, Kyu.”
Another quite awkward silence came...
“Find a sentence and call me with the nickname!”
“Uh...Did you take a shower this morning, Min?”
Sungmin’s jaw dropped. “...What kind of question is that?” But he secretly did sniff his own arm to make sure he still smelled strawberry. Gosh he really was comical up close! I started to feel so lucky having him as my... my... my what? He was my friend, and now he’s my...? Whatever. I felt happy right now.
+++
The following days had never been boring anymore. Because I always got to find something interesting within Sungmin he had never revealed before, and every night I wondered what I could see the day after. Like, his hobbies, his preferences, his dislikes, his point of thinking, his devilish side, his feelings, his...everything. And I was shocked when I realized I often forgot to put my mask on when I was around him.
But then again it wasn’t that bad. I doubted Sungmin would disappoint me. He was worth my trust, just because.
“Let’s go on dates... Hmm, we haven’t gone out together even once, don’t count the class-skipping we often did before,” said Sungmin, looking at his phone screen that showed about the game. I almost forgot it as well. We had done most of the challenges but I didn’t realize it because everything seemed natural, not just prompted by that game. “How about this weekend? Are you busy, Kyu?”
To be honest, I usually spent my Saturdays home, playing games whole twenty four hours or more. Or if I wasn’t in the mood, I’d go to some Karaoke centre to sing for hours. But this Saturday, I’d happily changed those schedules. “Sure, Min. Where do you want to go?”
“Somewhere fun and active and if possible quite far. I’m fed up with this crowded and complicated life. Find me a place to escape, even just for a while...”
That surprised me. Sungmin felt the same towards his life? It came to my mind just recently: how similar Sungmin and I were, yet so different in some cases.
“Hmm, how about zoo?” The idea zoo popped up in my mind just suddenly, I didn’t know how. After suggesting that, I became embarrassed. Sungmin might think I was so childish. I would even laugh at myself too.
“Zoo? I had wanted to suggest mountain hiking or beach trip but I guess zoo is okay. I haven’t gone there for years,” Sungmin grinned. “Saturday morning, okay?” Just as he finished his words the bell rang, telling it was the time to go back into class. “I can’t wait for Saturday,” he singsong as he left.
I smiled. I couldn’t wait either, Min, I was impatient.
+++
I wondered why time decided to crawl painfully slowly when I wanted it to be hurry.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. I counted the days, the hours, wishing Saturday would come just quickly. It scared me how I seemed to be very eager at the date. Was I falling? No way. It was probably only the curiousity.
It was Friday night now. Now I wondered why suddenly I got anxious.
I used to think my friends getting confused choosing what clothes they should wear for dates were stupid. I mean, as long as you don’t wear pyjamas, swimsuit, or any other horrifying costumes that would freak your date out, any clothes were fine right? If you’re confused, just choose the one at the top because it’s the easiest to reach. I only scoffed when Donghae said, “No way! He’s seen me wearing that! What is he thinks I’m so poor that I wear the same clothes again and again?” or straight Zhoumi said, “No way! If she sees me wearing random cheap clothes, she’ll think I’m not serious with her!” but now I finally understood.
What should I wear for tomorrow?? Tsk this is so not me!
I looked at shirt and jeans like I normally wore, but Donghae’s words echoed in my mind. The T-shirt in the top of the heap was cheap, and Zhoumi’s words followed suit.
My phone suddenly vibrated, distracting my thoughts. Half-heartedly I picked up the call, “Hello?”
“Hey, Kyu! Hope you remember we promised to go on date tomorrow!” My eyes dilated in surprise as I recognized the owner of that happy-toned voice.
“Of course, Min. The Zoo, right?”
“Ne. I thought you forgot because you never talk about it anymore. So when and where will we meet?” Sungmin asked. “This is my first date, for your information. I don’t know the couple should meet at the place or one should pick the other then go to the place together.”
I was his first date? Knowing that made me feel sort of proud. “It’s up to the couple, really. Let’s go there together. It’ll be more fun if we go on foot and take public transportation, don’t you think so?”
“Sounds great. So you’ll come to my house or I’ll go to your dorm or we’ll meet somewhere?”
“I’ll go to yours. It is the guy’s job.” I grinned. Surely the other boy was pouting at my words. “Eight in the morning, okay?”
“Sure! Uh, Kyu?”
“Yes, Min?”
Sungmin paused for a while. “Hmm, let’s talk on the phone all night long.”
“That game again?” I might sound more irritated than I intended to. I didn’t know why I disliked the thought of Sungmin doing everything with me only because what the game said. I even almost completely forgot what we hadn’t done yet before the game was over.
“Hu-uh. I’m now looking at it and actually there are only a few things we haven’t done.” Was it just me or did Sungmin sound sad and lonely? “You should be hanging out with Hyukkie sometimes. And I too with your Donghae and Zhoumi.”
“Why must you rush things? Don’t tell me you’re afraid if it takes longer you might lose the game?” I asked it meant to be joking, hoped he would laugh it off and replied wittily like he usually did.
But he stayed silent. And I became worried. What if... “Rush things? Do I? I didn’t mean to be like that, Kyu. But isn’t it great to be fiends with your friend’s friends? It is not only for the sake of completing the game.” I sighed mentally. He avoided the last part of my question. “Well, there’s this song ‘The More We Get Together’. For your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. The more we get together the happier we’ll be...” He even sang one of the songs I often heard when I was still child, making me giggle.
Wait. I didn’t know that Lee Sungmin could sing! And his voice was no bad!
“Hello, Kyu? You’re still there?” He seemed confused at my sudden speechlessness.
“You sing? How come you’re good at singing and I didn’t know it? We should have ditched school for karaoke sometimes.”
“...Oh that.” I swore, his face flushed right now! “You call that good? Then what are you, Mister Almighty Voice?”
“Sing again!”
“Excuse me?”
“Come on, Min, sing again! Just one song, please?” I did not care that I was pleading. I just wanted to hear that rich voice of his singing a full song. It could be the most pleasant lullaby for me.
“What is wrong with you? You sing better than I do so just sing by yourself.”
“I’m bored with my own voice.” What kind of reason was that, really? But who cares now. “So, sing! You know, we can change the prompt into: let’s sing to each other all night through phone.”
Sungmin giggled at my stupid idea. “Tsk, you’re serious, aren’t you? Fine. I’ll sing one song for you then after that you have to sing for me too.”
I suggested him to end the call and let me call him back because I didn’t want him to pay the calling price. When he answered it back, he was ready with his guitar. Gosh I didn’t know either that he played instruments! Seemed like I knew nothing about him before, like at all.
Sungmin sang a song called “My Love”, one made popular by Westlife if I was not mistaken. I really enjoyed it. His voice was unique and clear, high-pitched unlike his speaking voice sounded. He had good singing technique too, making me wonder if he had taken up some serious practice before.
If he did not finish the song I might end up sleeping in a minute. “To see you once again, my love...” The heavenly music stopped, I sighed as it was replaced by the muteness of the night. Till he spoke again, “For your information, Cho Kyuhyun, you are the first person to hear me singing other than my family. It’s so embarrassing, how come I agree to this?”
Being his first in lots of things raised some strange feelings in my heart. I recognized some as pride and joy. “No way! You’re really good at it why don’t you join choir or band?”
“Why don’t you?”
“I’m too lazy joining clubs.”
“Same here. You are not to comment on me.” He chuckled. “Now it’s your turn. Sing for me until I sleep!”
I obliged. It somehow didn’t feel as awkward and embarrassing as I expected it to be. It was as if I was this was what it should have been, what we should have done since before. We took turns in singing until then I stopped when faintly I heard some calm regular breath.
“Min?” No reply. He fell asleep on the phone? Unbelievable. “Well, good night and see you tomorrow, Min.” Still no reply, of course, what was I hoping for?
I recalled there was ‘Let’s tell each other good morning and good night everyday’ on the game. Usually we only greeted each other good mornings but starting from now we could try the good nights too.
It was past twelve. Oh my God hours passed so quickly! I turned off the lamp and tucked myself inside my blanket, wishing to go to dreamland soon and hoping morning would come just quickly.
...
Damn I forgot I still didn’t know what to wear tomorrow!!!
Hurriedly I tossed my blanket and turned on the lamp again and standing confusedly in front of my drawer again. It was past twelve. In less than eight hours I ought to meet Sungmin!
Why time decided to run at lightning speed when I wanted it to be slowpoke?!
+++
I knew where he lived, everyone did. Sungmin was the son of top businessman in the city. His house was one of the largest in the area. It was very easy to find as it stood out among others.
The paint was broken white, making it look elegant. It had large garden planted with various flowers. There was also a large parking lot with a number of cars. Everything was large and huge and extra ordinary.
Here I was, standing before the tall fences, feeling slightly inferior.
Sungmin and I had lots of things in common... Our personality was alike. So were our hobbies and preferences. But we were totally different in some things too. Guess this was one of them.
I looked at my watch. It was still seven thirty. I wondered if I should knock and enter the house by myself or I should call Sungmin to get me here because just standing like this making the guards looked at me as if I was suspicious. Both were unnecessary as a minute later Sungmin appeared and approached me.
“I saw you through my window,” he pointed at one of the rooms in second floor. Oh, had I mentioned the house had three storeys? “You’re early. Or is my clock dead?”
I smiled. “It’s the former. Better too early than too late, right? Are you ready yet?”
“Nope. I haven’t had my breakfast. Come on! Just come and accompany me to eat.” Sungmin pulled my hand. I complied, but suddenly I became nervous. I was going to meet Sungmin’s family! How would he introduce me as? Friend? Boyfriend?
As I entered that huge house, I felt weird. The house’s inside was brilliantly beautiful but somehow...maybe because it was too silent. There was no sound other than our footsteps. “Min, your family?”
“They’re not here. Sungjin, my younger brother, didn’t come home last night. He’s probably with his girlfriend again. Dad was in China doing business. Mom left early morning, I don’t know where she’s gone to.” We finally reached the dining room. I settled down on one of the four available chairs, and Sungmin sat before me. “I feel lonely sometimes. So your company is very much appreciated, you know.”
I nodded. “Glad I could help....” It shocked me quite bit to know such a family he had.
“So have you had breakfast?”
Usually I would automatically lie but, “No. I lost appetite seeing the blackish veggies that were supposed to be green. It’s my dorm mate’s cooking duty and he failed big time.”
Sungmin giggled. “Poor thing. Remember I promise to cook for you? What do you want now?”
“Anything is fine. As long as there’s no potassium cyanide or rat poison in it.”
His giggle turned into laughter. “There won’t. Told you I’m naturally nice.” He headed for the kitchen counter. It didn’t take too long until Sungmin came back with two plates of omelette rice and two glasses of chill milk. “Here you go.”
I had been wondering since that what his cooking would taste like and finally, it was really delicious! Such a simple dish could be so tasty. “Min, really, be my personal cook, day and night!”
“Only if you want to be my personal singer. I mean, like last night. I slept really well thanks to your lullaby.” He grinned. “I’ve been having some kind of insomnia these days, and you can be a healthy sleeping pill.”
Seriously??
“Ah, but the phone bills must be expensive, right? Next time just let me call you. What else should I spend Dad’s money for? I hate buying things I don’t really need. And I...”
“Why must you spend your father’s money?” I interrupted.
He fell silent for a while. “Dad is workaholic. He prefers working over family. His excuse is that he earns money to support our living. But that is so false. The money is all taken by Mom to do whatever things only she knew. Also by Sungjin to buy his girlfriend expensive presents. I thought I should take part in spending the money too. I hope Dad finally realize how awful his family have become and decides to change at the end. He’s supposed to be a good person after all...”
Another thing that distinguished me and Sungmin was honesty.
“That’s why. If I can give what I have to you, no offense, but if it is about money, I don’t want you being responsible just because you’re ‘the guy’ in this.”
I agreed. It was his choice. Just don’t call me materialistic boyfriend. “So, shall we go to the zoo by taxi? Or should we hire a heli?”
The tense atmosphere instantly broke as we laughed.
+++
We walked together to the bus station. While walking, I made sure to keep him next to me, away from the road. It was honestly an act without thinking. I didn’t even realize I was doing so until he praised me for being such a gentleman all the time.
The bus dropped us by the zoo at eleven. We decided to have all the fun, being childish for once like how a kid’s first time visiting the zoo. It was far from the city, I was pretty sure we wouldn’t meet anyone we knew. So I put off all the masks I had ever worn.
“Let’s start with the deer! It’s been a long time since last I get to feed them!” chirped Sungmin. I complied. It had been long for me too. The last time I went to the zoo was on my school trip at fifth grade. Instead of feeding the deer, we were given tasks to write down about the animals’ descriptions for Science project.
“Want to take photos with them, Min?” I took out a digital camera from my small bag.
Sungmin looked at me questioningly. No, at the camera to be exact. “I thought you don’t touch pink.”
“Tsk, I borrowed this from a noona in the orphanage. I don’t have one.”
“I lent you pink DS, you refused. A noona lent you a pink camera, you accepted. What is this? I feel jealous.” He giggled. The way he said it was casual, like it meant to be a joke. But all this time spending time around him, it had become easy to tell that this one was honest. He did looking for a good explanation.
“Actually, I was going to borrow a hyung’s, but since he wanted to afford a Polaroid he had sold his old camera. The Noona heard this conversation and offered hers. When I saw its colour, believe me, I think of you! And I can’t help but to accept it. Fine?” I stood closer to him and lifted my hand that was holding the camera. “Say Kyumiiiiin.”
My greatest happiness to see him saying ‘Kyumin’ too with joyful face.
“Next, giraffe.” I mentioned the nearest animal that was shown in the map.
“Yay I love giraffes!” Sungmin got more excited and pulled my hand, half skipping to the giraffe place. “They’re cute. Tall but cute. Isn’t that adorable?”
I wittily replied, “Like me?”
“But they stink. I heard giraffes have the worst smell of all mammals.”
It was true. “...Unlike me then.” He giggled hearing my correction.
We took a photo with giraffes too. Also with elephants, tigers, lions, hippopotamus, and bears.
“Kyubear, greet your friends!” I raised an eyebrow. That nickname still sounded strange to me. But then a baby bear glided towards us. It stopped just by the railing, but it really looked as if it was going to jump on me. It was embarrassing that Sungmin captured a photo of me when my hands automatically opened, ready to catch if the baby bear really did. I really did look stupid. Sungmin reassured me I looked cute instead of stupid, but that was not helping in lifting my mood.
“Don’t pout like that. Come on, we’ve still got eight more cages to go! We haven’t visited the SeaWorld too!” Sungmin joyfully pulled my hand to another direction. Geez, Min, you were the cute one! Not me.
We finished looking at all animals and went back in the evening, also using public transportation. After I got him home safely, I couldn’t help but walking all smiling towards the orphanage I called home. Surely, this day was one of the most fun days in my life!
+++
“Kyuhyun, you’ve got a recording message on the phone.” One of the hyungs who watched the lobby told me. The phone he was talking about was the orphanage’s main telephone. Calls for those who didn’t have cell phones usually would be directed there and the one in charge to watch it would call the person from his/her room.
I frowned. Since I bought my cell phone, I never ever got any calls from that telephone. Nor recording messages. “From?”
“He’s not mentioning his name. Perhaps he’s your...” He made a quotation with his fingers. “...friend.”
I nodded and went over the telephone. I picked the handle up and waited. ”Hey, Kyu!” It was Sungmin’s voice! There’s no way I would mistaken that. ”Sorry to leave a message like this. It’s just kind of embarrassing to tell you straight. I just want to thank you. I really had great amount of fun today. It’s been years since I last went to the zoo. I might have looked childish, that’s just because I was so excited. Well, I wish someday we can go out on dates again if it could be this fun. Hehe... Once again, thank you! I’ll call you tonight if you’re not busy.”
It was hard to fade away the blush that formed on my cheeks. That just encouraged the Hyungs to tease me, but this time I could careless.
+++
After getting into my room, I called him back with my handphone, which turned into missed calls. My disappointment faded when he called back, reminding about the spending money thing. Like the previous day, we talked and sang and he fell asleep again. Really, was my voice that sleep-alluring? I let out a chuckle as I hung up.
I was still awake hours later. I could not sleep. I did not even want to sleep. I spent the hours thinking, wondering, assuming, calculating, and taking a conclusion.
This was the first time I lost to someone in a game. But that wasn’t what upset me.
I had finally admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with Lee Sungmin. Darn he did have the charm. I was certain there were only two or three challenges left to do. The game was nearing its end. It meant I had to confess my losing soon. It meant I had to lose him soon. I meant I had to break my unguarded heart again.
It was my fault after all. I wasn’t careful enough that I fell for him. Maybe Sungmin was worth the pain. By this my heart should have learnt its lesson.
Before the painful day came, I’d just wait and enjoy what I could have.
With that resolution, my eyes finally closed in a not so contented slumber.
+++
“What’s with those eyes? Did you play Starcraft until late again?” Sungmin accused, hands on my cheeks, face so close as his eyes scrutinized me. My cheeks felt hot. I used all my might not to stare at his lips, because suddenly I was reminded that kiss was on the game. “I wish my voice works like yours, so I can be sure you get enough sleep.”
“Geez, Mommy, you worry too much.” I cupped his hands and pulled them down, saving my heart from doing somersaults.
He pouted at my words. “You listen to your mommy, Sweetheart. Mommy knows what’s best for you!”
Wasn’t it stupid that I got flustered only because he called me ‘Sweetheart’ on what was clearly a joke? “Alright Mommy. Because Kyu is a good boy, Kyu listens to Mommy.” It felt perfect. My hands perfectly suited around his. Why couldn’t this last forever?
Sungmin was looking at me intently. I wondered what was on his mind. “Will Kyu do what Mommy says?”
It had turned serious. I nodded despite knowing that.
“Kiss Mommy...” The request was whispered so very softly, barely audible. But there were only the two of us on the rooftop - because we were skipping class again - so I could hear the two words clearly.
My brain stopped working as I let my body did what it wanted. Our lips touched in a gentle motion... and what did I say perfect again? Now this was perfect! Sungmin tasted so sweet, addicting, and I craved for more. The boy might have felt the same because his hand hooked to the back of my neck, playing with small hair there, sending shivers of pleasure. The kiss soon deepened. His mouth opened slightly, which I took as permission to push my tongue into the hot cavern. I had a hand tangled in his hair, the other leaned to the wall for support, trapping him.
“Kyu...” He let out what I assumed a moan, and I shuddered. I pulled back immediately. My brain did its functions again, as I retreated purely because I was afraid I would end up raping this boy right then had I not stop. I didn’t pull away too far though, my confidence was a bit boosted up by the way Sungmin was kissing back.
He finally opened his eyes, looking straight into my soul, sexily breathless. Minutes ticked by just like that, in silence, just staring at each other. What was he thinking?
“Min... how many things do we have to do before completing the game?”
My words seemed to awaken him from the space out. His hand fell from my neck to reach for his pocket, finding his i-phone. “Um... Sweet talk done, talk 24/7 done, tell each other good mornings and good nights, take walks together, give nicknames, hang out with each other’s friends... we haven’t done this one, go on dates, talk on the phone all night, hold each other, kiss, and... hug...”
That’s it? “So what we haven’t done are only hanging with each other’s friends and hugging?”
Sungmin looked hesitated before he said, “I have to admit something. I hung out with Zhoumi and Donghae but I didn’t tell you. That was one time you had to come home late because the teacher needed to talk to you about that scholarship, I was waiting for you when they both approached me. They were wondering how in the world we dated. We went to a cafe to talk, to know each other. So...yeah. I texted you saying I couldn’t wait because my mother needed me home.”
Suddenly I remembered ever passing Hyukjae in the canteen and the dancer guy had asked him the same thing. I answered randomly at that time, saying that love didn’t need a reason. How cheesy, but that was true though. He asked if I didn’t mind him sitting with me, because I was his friend’s boyfriend although we were never close, and I had said yes. We weren’t talking during the lunch though, so I hadn’t counted that as hanging out. So was it counted?
“I guess yes?” He answered. Oh, I accidentally asked my thought out loud? ... Why did I want to hide it anyway? Why did Sungmin hide it as well?
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why do you have to lie, it’s okay if you just said you couldn’t wait because you were with my friends.”
Sungmin adjusted his seat, making me realize we were still so close with each other and my right hand still trapped him. “If you must know, I won’t hang with people I barely know like them, eventhough they are your friends. You were right. I did rush things. I want the game to be over before either of us fall for each other. Cause I know I will lose. But then, talking with them made me realize, actually I have already fallen. They made me talk about why I put up with you, what I liked about you... and I answered them all easily because I was just being honest. Why I didn’t tell you? Because I’m afraid you’ll ask what we were talking about, and honesty would speak again.”
It was a confession. Implicitly or not, I took it as confession. My heart thumped loudly as my arms wrapped around him. I just completed the game, hugging him.
“Do you know when did you exactly fall for me, Min? I don’t know when I did. But I just realized I did, last night.”
It was an answer. Implicitly or not, he had to take it as a positive answer. To my advantage Sungmin was clever enough to understand the meaning. “I guess I lost. I realized it first.”
I smirked. “I’m just stupid. I think I fell for you earlier. See the rules? Whoever falls in love first loses.”
“Alright. I’m just saving your gamer reputation and you refuse? Fine. You lose. I win.” Sungmin giggled. He lifted up to peck me again, and I melted.
“At least I win you. How can the loser get the most precious prize?”
“Are you kidding? Don’t you know what the winner gets? I get you!”
The school bell rang, signalling it was the next period already. Neither Sungmin nor I cared. Skipping classes were always our hobbies after all. But since we were ‘dating’, still continued after we were really dating now, we no longer ditched classes to arcades. Rooftop was even more entertaining because here I could claim my prize privately.
-End-
Prompt by jasminezilla on this post
Title: Precious Prize for The Loser
Main characters: Cho Kyuhyun, Lee Sungmin
Side characters: Donghae, Zhoumi, Eunhyuk, Sungjin (Some are only mentioned)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Fluff
Alternate Universe
Summary: Sungmin challenged Kyuhyun to play a game.
A/N: I saw this unfinished fic and thought it's such a pity to let it just like that. So I added like only a thousand words. Then it's done! I guess Kyumin always has soft spot in my heart, despite everything.
Such a boring day...
Today I wasn’t in the mood for classes. But I didn’t have any idea where I should go to alleviate my boredom. I had ditched school to visit the game centre four times this week so not only getting bored, I didn’t even have money left. I finally decided to go to the school rooftop to get some fresh air.
Maybe sometimes I needed this. A rest, a break, a little short term escape from my hectic life.
My name’s Cho Kyuhyun. When I was five my parents divorced and neither was willing to take me with them. I was discarded, till my uncle put me in an orphanage. That place was hell to me. The orphanage used to get not good donation and often lack of money, that’s why the children, though some were under-aged, were forced to work, like by selling newspapers or serving shoe-cleaning service on streets.
I had learned how crying and begging wouldn’t get me what I wanted. I had learned that trusting meant letting yourself get stabbed in the mean future. I had learned that putting emotion to things was stupid, and I was not.
Such kind of past created the Kyuhyun everyone knew now. I had been putting that mask on too long, and I needed to remove it once a while or else I would forget who I really was.
To be honest, I was fragile. I hated to admit it, but yes I was. I was not strong. I tended to feel hurt and keep everything inside. I was not cool. I was not a playboy. I was not the most popular guy at school. I wasn’t the Math genius. I wasn’t the image I created for myself to be accepted by other people.
The real Kyuhyun was a kid who loved to play games to put aside the pain the scars on his heart brought. The real Kyuhyun desperately needed someone he could cling to, whom he could trust, love, and that person reciprocated the feelings. Don’t count the girls and boys I dated on weekends. I saw them merely as toys to fill my free time up.
How pathetic.
I sat down, my back facing the wall. The wind was great today. I didn’t regret coming here. It would be such a waste if at the moment I was in the classroom, listening to whatever the teacher was babbling about or worse, sleeping on the desk.
I searched my pocket to find my PSP was not there. I frowned. I had never left it before! But then I remembered that my PSP was currently broken thanks to Donghae’s magical hand. I cursed silently, wondering what I could possibly do to ease this boredom. Cause I hated it. When I had nothing to do, my painful memories would automatically seep out hurting my heart again and again.
As I was thinking, suddenly I heard some noise coming this way. A guy’s voice, I noticed. I stood up and was about to tell whoever it was to fuckin leave but I realized it was Sungmin, the person that was the closest to a best friend I got. That boy was still grumbling incoherently, cursing once a while. He hadn’t realized me being here as well until I called him.
“Sungmin? Why are you here?”
“Kyuhyun?” He looked surprised. “Oh, I just didn’t bring Chemistry book. You know, the last time we went to the arcade, that stupid teacher told the students that her schedule would be swapped with Math. And no one told me about it! I had used it as a reason but then she scolded me, telling it was my fault that I skipped classes in the first place.” Sungmin told me in comical expression. “You?”
“Me? Just bored. I’m not in the mood to study.”
He seemed to understand my reason. Perhaps because he often felt the same. “Well I shall accompany you here.” Sungmin inched closer and sat next to me.
After few minutes of silence, Sungmin began to frown. “So you’ve been here since the first period and all you’ve been doing is spacing out and watching the clouds? Geez, where the hell is your PSP?”
“Ask Hae.”
It was already a vivid explanation to Sungmin. He was not really close to the guy, but Donghae’s anti-electronic hands were known throughout school. Ninety percent of lent gadget didn’t come back in the same condition. If not broken, that meant Donghae had gone to repair it out of guilt. Or bought a new one.
“Wanna borrow this?” He offered his pink Nintendo DS. I still wondered why a troublemaker like him chose such a colour as a favourite. Sure, he was cute and loving looking but his personality could be worse than mine in some cases.
“No, thanks. It’s pink. I don’t touch pink.” Sungmin pouted hearing my excuse. I giggled. He looked cuter that way. “Kidding. I am not in the mood for games now that you come. Tell me some stories, I’m in listening mood.”
“Ah, what a shame. Actually I have an interesting game I got from the internet last night. I thought you fit this game perfectly.” There came a sly grin replacing the pout. I recognized it as a challenge.
Fine. He caught my interest. “What game?”
“It’s for two players. One would be me, the other would be you. Here it is,” he pulled out his i-phone, searching something then showed the screen to me.
I heard you’re a player.
So let’s play a game.
Let’s sweet talk.
Let’s play fight.
Let’s talk 24/7.
Let’s tell each other good morning and good night every day.
Let’s take walks together.
Let’s give each other nicknames.
Let’s hang out with each others’ friends.
Let’s go on dates.
Let’s talk on the phone all night long.
Let’s hold each other.
Let’s kiss and hug.
And whoever falls in love first?
Loses.
“You and me? Seriously?” What a weird game. And it’s done between two males, wouldn’t it be just weirder? As far as I knew Sungmin was straight, while I... I didn’t know. I dated both genders but I never fell in love for real. “What if neither falls in love with each other?”
“Both win and the game is over, perhaps. I don’t know, and I am careless about it. I’m pretty confident with my charm,” Sungmin smirked. He had his own charm, I had to agree. He was actually nearly as popular as I was, but he always rejected every confession he got, saying that he wasn’t interested in loveship. “So you agree? Or you’re afraid of losing? If so, I can try the game with Hyukkie or somebody else.”
And I knew ‘Hyukkie’ as Lee Hyukjae, the dancing machine whom Sungmin was very close to. And somehow I disliked the idea Sungmin playing this game with him. “I’m the game master. There’s no way I’m afraid of losing any games. So fine, let’s see who wins this. When do we start?”
“Why not now? Good thing we’re alone here. Let’s start talking sweetly like lovers.” I nodded in agreement.
...
“...Kyuhyun I don’t even know what to talk about. Say something!”
“Something.”
“What?”
“You told me to say ‘something’ so I did.”
“You... silly. It is sooooo lame.”
It started awkwardly but then we began to chat normally and ended up sweetly. It was not hard. Acting had never been difficult for me after all. It was as simple as putting a mask on your face.
“We need to set a few rules, like, while we’re playing this game, we should act like a real couple. You must not go out with your gazillion dates anymore!”
“Fine for me.”
“And by the way, Kyuhyun, I am the guy in this relationship-like ...right?” His face was full of uncertainties, like he had already known exactly the answer but refused to admit it.
“What are you talking about?” I looked at his eyes ‘lovingly’ and smiled as ‘sweetly’ as I could. “You’re ten centimetres shorter, cuter, and you love pink. Doesn’t that imply something, hmm? Don’t be upset, Sungmin. You’ll get treats from me when we’re on dates.”
He smiled grimly. “Had I known this, I would have asked Hyukkie not you.”
Like you’d be the guy over that Hyukjae, I laughed silently. “You said I fit to the game.”
“I was wrong then. Maybe he fits better.”
“Oh, Sungmin. Don’t be like this. I’ll be jealous if you keep mentioning that dancer friend of yours.”
It was clearly a joking type of a flirting, but I was surprised to notice that his cheeks slightly burned. I never knew he could feel embarrassed so easily. Really, this game started to feel interesting. I could get to know some soft sides of him he never showed anyone. It was kind of priceless.
Honestly I hoped we both won. If he lost, I didn’t know, I was scared if the moment came when he realized he had fallen, he would go away from my life. It would be a great loss, because we had gotten along pretty well now. And I liked having him near me. He could be my best friend if only I allowed my heart to trust somebody.
And if I lost... Tsk, that was highly impossible. I had learned how to control my heart. It was locked, frozen, and isolated. No one would get to see the real me.
+++
Usually I got to meet Sungmin only when I decided to ditch school. I would tell him where I wanted to go, then I would leave with my own group of friends, then he followed an hour or two later by himself. He never was the one the otherwise. So it was either he went off without me or he never ditched if I didn’t.
But now, we began to show off ‘our lovely relationship’ at school. When I was playing cards with Donghae and Zhoumi during break time, Sungmin suddenly came into my class, greeting good morning and saying he wanted to ‘borrow’ me for a while. When I asked him what was wrong, he simply said, “Let’s tell each other good morning and let’s talk 24/7.” God he was seriously serious.
“Soooo... What did you eat this morning?” I appreciated his effort in trying to find a topic though it was very lame.
“Random veggies I didn’t even know the name. I can’t be picky about food, because it’s already provided in the orphanage, unless I have extra money to get food outside on my own.”
Not only Sungmin, I too was surprised when I said that. Never have I told anybody where I lived. But to Sungmin... I hoped he wouldn’t ask me why I lived there. I wasn’t ready to reopen my past and share it.
“I see. Would you like it if I cook for you? I always cook my own food. I don’t mind making extra.”
“Really? That’s so nice of you!!” I ruffled Sungmin’s hair playfully, while he grunted at the action because his neat hair was now ruined. “Hey, cooking for each other is not part of that game, is it?”
“...no. I am naturally nice.”
An evil smirk must have formed on my lips. “Then you don’t mind making me food everyday, three times a day?”
He replied with equally evil grin. “Sure! I’ll even add special ingredients like rat poison and potassium cyanide only for you.”
“Oh my God Sungmin you are really really naturally nice!”
“Yeah I am. Thank you for restating what’s true!”
“Tsk, I don’t know you’re also this witty.”
“Good you know now. Isn’t that partly your influence?”
Who knew wittiness was contagious. I chuckled. Sungmin was really adorable sometimes. After that, there was a quite awkward silence until...
“Kyu...”
I turned, waiting for him to completely call my name but then I blushed. A nickname? “Wha―”
“I’ll call you Kyu. I want to use ‘Kyubear’ instead but it may ruin your reputation.”
Sungmin looked amused seeing my face. Well it felt like my face was burning. Kyubear?! What the hell was that? Such a cute nickname didn’t suit me at all. “Then should I call you Min? Minnie? Minnie mouse?”
“My image is bunny not mouse!” Sungmin giggled. But he seemed delighted at the nickname. “But Min is cute. Call me Minnie!”
I frowned. How could he like that idea? “Min is a girl’s name.”
“...You’re giving me a nickname or not?”
It was my turn to giggle now, because though being irritated he still looked cute. “Kidding, kidding. We’re Kyumin, agree?”
“Agree, Kyu.”
Another quite awkward silence came...
“Find a sentence and call me with the nickname!”
“Uh...Did you take a shower this morning, Min?”
Sungmin’s jaw dropped. “...What kind of question is that?” But he secretly did sniff his own arm to make sure he still smelled strawberry. Gosh he really was comical up close! I started to feel so lucky having him as my... my... my what? He was my friend, and now he’s my...? Whatever. I felt happy right now.
+++
The following days had never been boring anymore. Because I always got to find something interesting within Sungmin he had never revealed before, and every night I wondered what I could see the day after. Like, his hobbies, his preferences, his dislikes, his point of thinking, his devilish side, his feelings, his...everything. And I was shocked when I realized I often forgot to put my mask on when I was around him.
But then again it wasn’t that bad. I doubted Sungmin would disappoint me. He was worth my trust, just because.
“Let’s go on dates... Hmm, we haven’t gone out together even once, don’t count the class-skipping we often did before,” said Sungmin, looking at his phone screen that showed about the game. I almost forgot it as well. We had done most of the challenges but I didn’t realize it because everything seemed natural, not just prompted by that game. “How about this weekend? Are you busy, Kyu?”
To be honest, I usually spent my Saturdays home, playing games whole twenty four hours or more. Or if I wasn’t in the mood, I’d go to some Karaoke centre to sing for hours. But this Saturday, I’d happily changed those schedules. “Sure, Min. Where do you want to go?”
“Somewhere fun and active and if possible quite far. I’m fed up with this crowded and complicated life. Find me a place to escape, even just for a while...”
That surprised me. Sungmin felt the same towards his life? It came to my mind just recently: how similar Sungmin and I were, yet so different in some cases.
“Hmm, how about zoo?” The idea zoo popped up in my mind just suddenly, I didn’t know how. After suggesting that, I became embarrassed. Sungmin might think I was so childish. I would even laugh at myself too.
“Zoo? I had wanted to suggest mountain hiking or beach trip but I guess zoo is okay. I haven’t gone there for years,” Sungmin grinned. “Saturday morning, okay?” Just as he finished his words the bell rang, telling it was the time to go back into class. “I can’t wait for Saturday,” he singsong as he left.
I smiled. I couldn’t wait either, Min, I was impatient.
+++
I wondered why time decided to crawl painfully slowly when I wanted it to be hurry.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. I counted the days, the hours, wishing Saturday would come just quickly. It scared me how I seemed to be very eager at the date. Was I falling? No way. It was probably only the curiousity.
It was Friday night now. Now I wondered why suddenly I got anxious.
I used to think my friends getting confused choosing what clothes they should wear for dates were stupid. I mean, as long as you don’t wear pyjamas, swimsuit, or any other horrifying costumes that would freak your date out, any clothes were fine right? If you’re confused, just choose the one at the top because it’s the easiest to reach. I only scoffed when Donghae said, “No way! He’s seen me wearing that! What is he thinks I’m so poor that I wear the same clothes again and again?” or straight Zhoumi said, “No way! If she sees me wearing random cheap clothes, she’ll think I’m not serious with her!” but now I finally understood.
What should I wear for tomorrow?? Tsk this is so not me!
I looked at shirt and jeans like I normally wore, but Donghae’s words echoed in my mind. The T-shirt in the top of the heap was cheap, and Zhoumi’s words followed suit.
My phone suddenly vibrated, distracting my thoughts. Half-heartedly I picked up the call, “Hello?”
“Hey, Kyu! Hope you remember we promised to go on date tomorrow!” My eyes dilated in surprise as I recognized the owner of that happy-toned voice.
“Of course, Min. The Zoo, right?”
“Ne. I thought you forgot because you never talk about it anymore. So when and where will we meet?” Sungmin asked. “This is my first date, for your information. I don’t know the couple should meet at the place or one should pick the other then go to the place together.”
I was his first date? Knowing that made me feel sort of proud. “It’s up to the couple, really. Let’s go there together. It’ll be more fun if we go on foot and take public transportation, don’t you think so?”
“Sounds great. So you’ll come to my house or I’ll go to your dorm or we’ll meet somewhere?”
“I’ll go to yours. It is the guy’s job.” I grinned. Surely the other boy was pouting at my words. “Eight in the morning, okay?”
“Sure! Uh, Kyu?”
“Yes, Min?”
Sungmin paused for a while. “Hmm, let’s talk on the phone all night long.”
“That game again?” I might sound more irritated than I intended to. I didn’t know why I disliked the thought of Sungmin doing everything with me only because what the game said. I even almost completely forgot what we hadn’t done yet before the game was over.
“Hu-uh. I’m now looking at it and actually there are only a few things we haven’t done.” Was it just me or did Sungmin sound sad and lonely? “You should be hanging out with Hyukkie sometimes. And I too with your Donghae and Zhoumi.”
“Why must you rush things? Don’t tell me you’re afraid if it takes longer you might lose the game?” I asked it meant to be joking, hoped he would laugh it off and replied wittily like he usually did.
But he stayed silent. And I became worried. What if... “Rush things? Do I? I didn’t mean to be like that, Kyu. But isn’t it great to be fiends with your friend’s friends? It is not only for the sake of completing the game.” I sighed mentally. He avoided the last part of my question. “Well, there’s this song ‘The More We Get Together’. For your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. The more we get together the happier we’ll be...” He even sang one of the songs I often heard when I was still child, making me giggle.
Wait. I didn’t know that Lee Sungmin could sing! And his voice was no bad!
“Hello, Kyu? You’re still there?” He seemed confused at my sudden speechlessness.
“You sing? How come you’re good at singing and I didn’t know it? We should have ditched school for karaoke sometimes.”
“...Oh that.” I swore, his face flushed right now! “You call that good? Then what are you, Mister Almighty Voice?”
“Sing again!”
“Excuse me?”
“Come on, Min, sing again! Just one song, please?” I did not care that I was pleading. I just wanted to hear that rich voice of his singing a full song. It could be the most pleasant lullaby for me.
“What is wrong with you? You sing better than I do so just sing by yourself.”
“I’m bored with my own voice.” What kind of reason was that, really? But who cares now. “So, sing! You know, we can change the prompt into: let’s sing to each other all night through phone.”
Sungmin giggled at my stupid idea. “Tsk, you’re serious, aren’t you? Fine. I’ll sing one song for you then after that you have to sing for me too.”
I suggested him to end the call and let me call him back because I didn’t want him to pay the calling price. When he answered it back, he was ready with his guitar. Gosh I didn’t know either that he played instruments! Seemed like I knew nothing about him before, like at all.
Sungmin sang a song called “My Love”, one made popular by Westlife if I was not mistaken. I really enjoyed it. His voice was unique and clear, high-pitched unlike his speaking voice sounded. He had good singing technique too, making me wonder if he had taken up some serious practice before.
If he did not finish the song I might end up sleeping in a minute. “To see you once again, my love...” The heavenly music stopped, I sighed as it was replaced by the muteness of the night. Till he spoke again, “For your information, Cho Kyuhyun, you are the first person to hear me singing other than my family. It’s so embarrassing, how come I agree to this?”
Being his first in lots of things raised some strange feelings in my heart. I recognized some as pride and joy. “No way! You’re really good at it why don’t you join choir or band?”
“Why don’t you?”
“I’m too lazy joining clubs.”
“Same here. You are not to comment on me.” He chuckled. “Now it’s your turn. Sing for me until I sleep!”
I obliged. It somehow didn’t feel as awkward and embarrassing as I expected it to be. It was as if I was this was what it should have been, what we should have done since before. We took turns in singing until then I stopped when faintly I heard some calm regular breath.
“Min?” No reply. He fell asleep on the phone? Unbelievable. “Well, good night and see you tomorrow, Min.” Still no reply, of course, what was I hoping for?
I recalled there was ‘Let’s tell each other good morning and good night everyday’ on the game. Usually we only greeted each other good mornings but starting from now we could try the good nights too.
It was past twelve. Oh my God hours passed so quickly! I turned off the lamp and tucked myself inside my blanket, wishing to go to dreamland soon and hoping morning would come just quickly.
...
Damn I forgot I still didn’t know what to wear tomorrow!!!
Hurriedly I tossed my blanket and turned on the lamp again and standing confusedly in front of my drawer again. It was past twelve. In less than eight hours I ought to meet Sungmin!
Why time decided to run at lightning speed when I wanted it to be slowpoke?!
+++
I knew where he lived, everyone did. Sungmin was the son of top businessman in the city. His house was one of the largest in the area. It was very easy to find as it stood out among others.
The paint was broken white, making it look elegant. It had large garden planted with various flowers. There was also a large parking lot with a number of cars. Everything was large and huge and extra ordinary.
Here I was, standing before the tall fences, feeling slightly inferior.
Sungmin and I had lots of things in common... Our personality was alike. So were our hobbies and preferences. But we were totally different in some things too. Guess this was one of them.
I looked at my watch. It was still seven thirty. I wondered if I should knock and enter the house by myself or I should call Sungmin to get me here because just standing like this making the guards looked at me as if I was suspicious. Both were unnecessary as a minute later Sungmin appeared and approached me.
“I saw you through my window,” he pointed at one of the rooms in second floor. Oh, had I mentioned the house had three storeys? “You’re early. Or is my clock dead?”
I smiled. “It’s the former. Better too early than too late, right? Are you ready yet?”
“Nope. I haven’t had my breakfast. Come on! Just come and accompany me to eat.” Sungmin pulled my hand. I complied, but suddenly I became nervous. I was going to meet Sungmin’s family! How would he introduce me as? Friend? Boyfriend?
As I entered that huge house, I felt weird. The house’s inside was brilliantly beautiful but somehow...maybe because it was too silent. There was no sound other than our footsteps. “Min, your family?”
“They’re not here. Sungjin, my younger brother, didn’t come home last night. He’s probably with his girlfriend again. Dad was in China doing business. Mom left early morning, I don’t know where she’s gone to.” We finally reached the dining room. I settled down on one of the four available chairs, and Sungmin sat before me. “I feel lonely sometimes. So your company is very much appreciated, you know.”
I nodded. “Glad I could help....” It shocked me quite bit to know such a family he had.
“So have you had breakfast?”
Usually I would automatically lie but, “No. I lost appetite seeing the blackish veggies that were supposed to be green. It’s my dorm mate’s cooking duty and he failed big time.”
Sungmin giggled. “Poor thing. Remember I promise to cook for you? What do you want now?”
“Anything is fine. As long as there’s no potassium cyanide or rat poison in it.”
His giggle turned into laughter. “There won’t. Told you I’m naturally nice.” He headed for the kitchen counter. It didn’t take too long until Sungmin came back with two plates of omelette rice and two glasses of chill milk. “Here you go.”
I had been wondering since that what his cooking would taste like and finally, it was really delicious! Such a simple dish could be so tasty. “Min, really, be my personal cook, day and night!”
“Only if you want to be my personal singer. I mean, like last night. I slept really well thanks to your lullaby.” He grinned. “I’ve been having some kind of insomnia these days, and you can be a healthy sleeping pill.”
Seriously??
“Ah, but the phone bills must be expensive, right? Next time just let me call you. What else should I spend Dad’s money for? I hate buying things I don’t really need. And I...”
“Why must you spend your father’s money?” I interrupted.
He fell silent for a while. “Dad is workaholic. He prefers working over family. His excuse is that he earns money to support our living. But that is so false. The money is all taken by Mom to do whatever things only she knew. Also by Sungjin to buy his girlfriend expensive presents. I thought I should take part in spending the money too. I hope Dad finally realize how awful his family have become and decides to change at the end. He’s supposed to be a good person after all...”
Another thing that distinguished me and Sungmin was honesty.
“That’s why. If I can give what I have to you, no offense, but if it is about money, I don’t want you being responsible just because you’re ‘the guy’ in this.”
I agreed. It was his choice. Just don’t call me materialistic boyfriend. “So, shall we go to the zoo by taxi? Or should we hire a heli?”
The tense atmosphere instantly broke as we laughed.
+++
We walked together to the bus station. While walking, I made sure to keep him next to me, away from the road. It was honestly an act without thinking. I didn’t even realize I was doing so until he praised me for being such a gentleman all the time.
The bus dropped us by the zoo at eleven. We decided to have all the fun, being childish for once like how a kid’s first time visiting the zoo. It was far from the city, I was pretty sure we wouldn’t meet anyone we knew. So I put off all the masks I had ever worn.
“Let’s start with the deer! It’s been a long time since last I get to feed them!” chirped Sungmin. I complied. It had been long for me too. The last time I went to the zoo was on my school trip at fifth grade. Instead of feeding the deer, we were given tasks to write down about the animals’ descriptions for Science project.
“Want to take photos with them, Min?” I took out a digital camera from my small bag.
Sungmin looked at me questioningly. No, at the camera to be exact. “I thought you don’t touch pink.”
“Tsk, I borrowed this from a noona in the orphanage. I don’t have one.”
“I lent you pink DS, you refused. A noona lent you a pink camera, you accepted. What is this? I feel jealous.” He giggled. The way he said it was casual, like it meant to be a joke. But all this time spending time around him, it had become easy to tell that this one was honest. He did looking for a good explanation.
“Actually, I was going to borrow a hyung’s, but since he wanted to afford a Polaroid he had sold his old camera. The Noona heard this conversation and offered hers. When I saw its colour, believe me, I think of you! And I can’t help but to accept it. Fine?” I stood closer to him and lifted my hand that was holding the camera. “Say Kyumiiiiin.”
My greatest happiness to see him saying ‘Kyumin’ too with joyful face.
“Next, giraffe.” I mentioned the nearest animal that was shown in the map.
“Yay I love giraffes!” Sungmin got more excited and pulled my hand, half skipping to the giraffe place. “They’re cute. Tall but cute. Isn’t that adorable?”
I wittily replied, “Like me?”
“But they stink. I heard giraffes have the worst smell of all mammals.”
It was true. “...Unlike me then.” He giggled hearing my correction.
We took a photo with giraffes too. Also with elephants, tigers, lions, hippopotamus, and bears.
“Kyubear, greet your friends!” I raised an eyebrow. That nickname still sounded strange to me. But then a baby bear glided towards us. It stopped just by the railing, but it really looked as if it was going to jump on me. It was embarrassing that Sungmin captured a photo of me when my hands automatically opened, ready to catch if the baby bear really did. I really did look stupid. Sungmin reassured me I looked cute instead of stupid, but that was not helping in lifting my mood.
“Don’t pout like that. Come on, we’ve still got eight more cages to go! We haven’t visited the SeaWorld too!” Sungmin joyfully pulled my hand to another direction. Geez, Min, you were the cute one! Not me.
We finished looking at all animals and went back in the evening, also using public transportation. After I got him home safely, I couldn’t help but walking all smiling towards the orphanage I called home. Surely, this day was one of the most fun days in my life!
+++
“Kyuhyun, you’ve got a recording message on the phone.” One of the hyungs who watched the lobby told me. The phone he was talking about was the orphanage’s main telephone. Calls for those who didn’t have cell phones usually would be directed there and the one in charge to watch it would call the person from his/her room.
I frowned. Since I bought my cell phone, I never ever got any calls from that telephone. Nor recording messages. “From?”
“He’s not mentioning his name. Perhaps he’s your...” He made a quotation with his fingers. “...friend.”
I nodded and went over the telephone. I picked the handle up and waited. ”Hey, Kyu!” It was Sungmin’s voice! There’s no way I would mistaken that. ”Sorry to leave a message like this. It’s just kind of embarrassing to tell you straight. I just want to thank you. I really had great amount of fun today. It’s been years since I last went to the zoo. I might have looked childish, that’s just because I was so excited. Well, I wish someday we can go out on dates again if it could be this fun. Hehe... Once again, thank you! I’ll call you tonight if you’re not busy.”
It was hard to fade away the blush that formed on my cheeks. That just encouraged the Hyungs to tease me, but this time I could careless.
+++
After getting into my room, I called him back with my handphone, which turned into missed calls. My disappointment faded when he called back, reminding about the spending money thing. Like the previous day, we talked and sang and he fell asleep again. Really, was my voice that sleep-alluring? I let out a chuckle as I hung up.
I was still awake hours later. I could not sleep. I did not even want to sleep. I spent the hours thinking, wondering, assuming, calculating, and taking a conclusion.
This was the first time I lost to someone in a game. But that wasn’t what upset me.
I had finally admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with Lee Sungmin. Darn he did have the charm. I was certain there were only two or three challenges left to do. The game was nearing its end. It meant I had to confess my losing soon. It meant I had to lose him soon. I meant I had to break my unguarded heart again.
It was my fault after all. I wasn’t careful enough that I fell for him. Maybe Sungmin was worth the pain. By this my heart should have learnt its lesson.
Before the painful day came, I’d just wait and enjoy what I could have.
With that resolution, my eyes finally closed in a not so contented slumber.
+++
“What’s with those eyes? Did you play Starcraft until late again?” Sungmin accused, hands on my cheeks, face so close as his eyes scrutinized me. My cheeks felt hot. I used all my might not to stare at his lips, because suddenly I was reminded that kiss was on the game. “I wish my voice works like yours, so I can be sure you get enough sleep.”
“Geez, Mommy, you worry too much.” I cupped his hands and pulled them down, saving my heart from doing somersaults.
He pouted at my words. “You listen to your mommy, Sweetheart. Mommy knows what’s best for you!”
Wasn’t it stupid that I got flustered only because he called me ‘Sweetheart’ on what was clearly a joke? “Alright Mommy. Because Kyu is a good boy, Kyu listens to Mommy.” It felt perfect. My hands perfectly suited around his. Why couldn’t this last forever?
Sungmin was looking at me intently. I wondered what was on his mind. “Will Kyu do what Mommy says?”
It had turned serious. I nodded despite knowing that.
“Kiss Mommy...” The request was whispered so very softly, barely audible. But there were only the two of us on the rooftop - because we were skipping class again - so I could hear the two words clearly.
My brain stopped working as I let my body did what it wanted. Our lips touched in a gentle motion... and what did I say perfect again? Now this was perfect! Sungmin tasted so sweet, addicting, and I craved for more. The boy might have felt the same because his hand hooked to the back of my neck, playing with small hair there, sending shivers of pleasure. The kiss soon deepened. His mouth opened slightly, which I took as permission to push my tongue into the hot cavern. I had a hand tangled in his hair, the other leaned to the wall for support, trapping him.
“Kyu...” He let out what I assumed a moan, and I shuddered. I pulled back immediately. My brain did its functions again, as I retreated purely because I was afraid I would end up raping this boy right then had I not stop. I didn’t pull away too far though, my confidence was a bit boosted up by the way Sungmin was kissing back.
He finally opened his eyes, looking straight into my soul, sexily breathless. Minutes ticked by just like that, in silence, just staring at each other. What was he thinking?
“Min... how many things do we have to do before completing the game?”
My words seemed to awaken him from the space out. His hand fell from my neck to reach for his pocket, finding his i-phone. “Um... Sweet talk done, talk 24/7 done, tell each other good mornings and good nights, take walks together, give nicknames, hang out with each other’s friends... we haven’t done this one, go on dates, talk on the phone all night, hold each other, kiss, and... hug...”
That’s it? “So what we haven’t done are only hanging with each other’s friends and hugging?”
Sungmin looked hesitated before he said, “I have to admit something. I hung out with Zhoumi and Donghae but I didn’t tell you. That was one time you had to come home late because the teacher needed to talk to you about that scholarship, I was waiting for you when they both approached me. They were wondering how in the world we dated. We went to a cafe to talk, to know each other. So...yeah. I texted you saying I couldn’t wait because my mother needed me home.”
Suddenly I remembered ever passing Hyukjae in the canteen and the dancer guy had asked him the same thing. I answered randomly at that time, saying that love didn’t need a reason. How cheesy, but that was true though. He asked if I didn’t mind him sitting with me, because I was his friend’s boyfriend although we were never close, and I had said yes. We weren’t talking during the lunch though, so I hadn’t counted that as hanging out. So was it counted?
“I guess yes?” He answered. Oh, I accidentally asked my thought out loud? ... Why did I want to hide it anyway? Why did Sungmin hide it as well?
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why do you have to lie, it’s okay if you just said you couldn’t wait because you were with my friends.”
Sungmin adjusted his seat, making me realize we were still so close with each other and my right hand still trapped him. “If you must know, I won’t hang with people I barely know like them, eventhough they are your friends. You were right. I did rush things. I want the game to be over before either of us fall for each other. Cause I know I will lose. But then, talking with them made me realize, actually I have already fallen. They made me talk about why I put up with you, what I liked about you... and I answered them all easily because I was just being honest. Why I didn’t tell you? Because I’m afraid you’ll ask what we were talking about, and honesty would speak again.”
It was a confession. Implicitly or not, I took it as confession. My heart thumped loudly as my arms wrapped around him. I just completed the game, hugging him.
“Do you know when did you exactly fall for me, Min? I don’t know when I did. But I just realized I did, last night.”
It was an answer. Implicitly or not, he had to take it as a positive answer. To my advantage Sungmin was clever enough to understand the meaning. “I guess I lost. I realized it first.”
I smirked. “I’m just stupid. I think I fell for you earlier. See the rules? Whoever falls in love first loses.”
“Alright. I’m just saving your gamer reputation and you refuse? Fine. You lose. I win.” Sungmin giggled. He lifted up to peck me again, and I melted.
“At least I win you. How can the loser get the most precious prize?”
“Are you kidding? Don’t you know what the winner gets? I get you!”
The school bell rang, signalling it was the next period already. Neither Sungmin nor I cared. Skipping classes were always our hobbies after all. But since we were ‘dating’, still continued after we were really dating now, we no longer ditched classes to arcades. Rooftop was even more entertaining because here I could claim my prize privately.
-End-