Today, the Danger Shop was set up with an elaborate, dirty cityscape. "GOOD MORNING, CLASS!" Hammer boomed. "Welcome to your final. Your job, today, should you choose to accept it" -- that's not the quote, Hammer, but nice try -- "is to rescue a damsel in distress ( Read more... )

When Captain Hammer came to class today, he was just getting ready to boom his normal greeting to the class when, out of nowhere, a gremlin snuck up on him. (Which he'd never admit.) And bit him. (Which he would try to forget later.)

Don't worry. Class would still be handled.

"My name is Rainbow Brite!" she/he said...brightly. "And I'm from ( Read more... )

"Hello!" Hammer boomed as the class made their way in today. "Now, children, while I know you all look up to me, I need you to remember an important thing: everyone is different. No one else can be as strong as I am, or as ruggedly handsome, or as brilliant, and so, it's important that you recognize this ( Read more... )

...is over here. Oops.

It was bound to happen at some point. Dammit.

"Hello!" Captain Hammer boomed happily, as he'd hidden away from the tiny children this weekend and thus not had to deal with that little element of insanity. He was, of course, wonderful with children, but they tended to cling and drool and vomit on things ( Read more... )

"Good day, friends! Once again, I am She-Ra, your substitute teacher," She-Ra greeted the class in her full uniform - from golden hairband to white mini to gold stiletto boots. "While some of you may have noticed the many Harpys that appeared on the island, I promise you are all quite safe here in the school. Should you go out of doors, however ( Read more... )

"Hello, class!" Hammer boomed, striding out before the class once everyone was all assembled. "I hope you all had a nice time on vacation. I, meanwhile, stayed behind to protect the island from any evildoers who might attack in its vulnerable state ( Read more... )

Today, Captain Hammer was not quite as moody as last week, but he was still Not In a Good Place ( Read more... )

Captain Hammer was not his usual swaggering self today. No, today, he almost seemed like he was in shock.

"You will, undoubtedly, have to deal with villains as a hero. And villainesses. And shapeshifters, or...something." He made a face, giving a full-body shiver. "Today, we're going to begin our unit on villains with some...discussion ( Read more... )

"HELLO CLASS!" boomed Captain Hammer, as soon as everyone was assembled in the Danger Shop. "I'm sorry you had to bear on without my presence last week. I had a superhero emergency." In that his cave had flooded, because Captain Hammer had not yet realized that basing his Ham-Lair on the beach wasn't the best idea. "Today... we are learning about ( Read more... )