[for cameron] I took my love and I took it down

[fallen_ancient]

When she rose from her meditation that morning, Morgan knew it to be time. She had known since after the afternoon spent with Bill, but she had waited out of prudence. She had moved hastily in initiating a romantic relationship with Cameron and hurt them both thereby. In ending it, she wanted clarity, certainty, and wisdom. She wished to act from a

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[sgmitchell]

No, he wasn't about to admit it to Reese, because she'd drugged him, but the...thirty-odd hour sleep had helped. No, the memory hadn't faded any more than it would have over the week, but it helped him to not be so singularly focused on it. The sleep, and the food she'd forced on him in the morning, had given him energy and...not exactly hope, but a short-lived fortitude

[fallen_ancient]

Mind and heart settled, Morgan smiled warmly. She loved him still and always would and there could be no cause for being anything other than patiently kind and serene.

"Good morning, Cameron," she answered without rising, so as not to give out false impressions of her emotions upon seeing him again. "Are you well?"

[sgmitchell]

It still reminded him of then, but it was not that day. He hadn't fallen through time. Things weren't as clear and easy as they had been. He wasn't certain when they would be again.

Still he offered her a small smile, considering what to say. It was not a question of whether to tell her what happened after she left--that much he would. He knew she'd figure something out. It was...a question of when, and how much to say.

For the immediate moment, he wasn't so bad, and the rest could come later. "I'm...alright. How are you, Morgan?"

[fallen_ancient]

A slight pause in his speech alerted her to the lie in his words. As his lover, she might pry into that gap, inquire as to the cause of it. Yet if they would disentangle their lives, she would have to become accustomed to not having that privilege. So she let her eyelashes dip in a small nod of acknowledgment.

"I'm well, thank you," she answered, more than polite, but certainly not intimate. "The time away has helped clear my mind and heart."

[sgmitchell]

A sarcastic comment came to mind, but it didn't last long enough to be properly formed. He nodded, hands still in his pockets as he approached her. There was a quiet to her voice--Cam knew more than well enough that he didn't know Morgan as well as he used to think...but he still recognized the difference in warm intimacy and the...crystalline voice she gave to perfect strangers.

This was...somewhere between the two. If he judged correctly.

"Yeah..." He bit back a comment about his 'time away'. He wasn't going to look for sympathy. He never wanted sympathy for...this. He wanted it fixed. He could wait for a proper, quiet time to tell her about it.

Despite everything of the last week--and even, really, the restlessness of the past two months--it was never difficult to offer a truly warm smile to Morgan. "I'm...glad it helped."

[fallen_ancient]

Cameron's expressions flickered. For someone who knew him less well, they might be unreadable. Morgan found them clear as words on a page. Bitterness, thoughtful consideration, there was pain, and there determination, and after it, decided upon and still heartfelt, love.

She waited until he had finished speaking to beckon with a graceful curl of her fingers. "Come and sit, Cameron. We should finish the talk we have been having for some weeks now."

[sgmitchell]

Cam could be simple, and next to most of New Atlantis, he could be downright slow. He couldn't read Morgan like an open book--if he could, there would have never been this situation in the first place--but he wasn't entirely naive and inexperienced. He'd known Morgan long enough, and he'd had enough of his share of relationships to be pretty certain this wasn't leading to a grand, stunning revelation that would turn things out of the rut they'd fallen into.

But he trusted Morgan enough to wait to see, anyway.

He moved to sit next to her, where they had once sat in comfortable companionship, and she had compromised her own plans for his request, and he had offered a compromise in return. It wasn't the same relationship then, but the memory was still fond, when he reached out to take one of her hands in his. She could withdraw it--and it wouldn't surprise him--but after a week of hell...he'd think he could be forgiven that much.

"I'm listening."

[fallen_ancient]

She did not withdraw her hand. That would be unnecessarily unkind when she still loved him, more, perhaps, than he could encompass. Instead, she turned her palm up to curl her fingers lightly around his wrist and smiled affectionately.

"You are always listening, Cameron. That is an admirable trait in a leader and a friend, but a difficult one in a lover." Her tone held no reproach, only an infinite fondness. "Be that as it may, in this instance, it serves me well. What I have been trying to say for some time now and failing for lack of clarity is this:

"From each of us, Tabula Rasa demands a new beginning. What we knew of life before has changed, in some cases radically. The paths we followed, the ends we pursued, are altered and we are fortunate if they retain meaning at all.

"My life as Ganos Lal ended when I chose to help Daniel in Atlantis. My life as Morgan Le Fay was intended to cease with my defeat of Adria. Instead, I must again become." She glanced up to meet his gaze, head tilting to smile softly. "I am infinitely

[sgmitchell]

He should have been more deeply hurt by her implication that he was nothing more than a comfortable sounding board for her new life. He should have been, but there was no true hook in her words from which to draw a strong reaction from. The fact remained, while in his mind the relationship changed from that to something more months ago...it may well have been his mistaken assumption that caused the strife

[fallen_ancient]

She had not expected the resignation. It concerned her, because he hid a great deal behind a thin facade. Yet it relieved her as well, that he would not cling and force her to be cruel in order to be kind

[sgmitchell]

He'd expected to hear about Tim. In fact, he half-expected to hear that she would be staying with 'Timothy'. Which of course would really be 'Bill'. Any thoughts about the kid barely registered underneath everything else. He wasn't about to begrudge the kid for being just the sort of person Morgan wanted to interact with.

Cameron closed his eyes momentarily--and the flashes of memory weren't as strong as before. Oh...the memory. What he'd once held a desperate hope for Morgan's return to fix. What he'd hoped to be able to share with her at a time when they were alone, quiet, and he didn't have to conceal the...terror it brought.

He bit his lip, studying her gaze. God...it hurt to know she wouldn't be there any more. Selfish as the thought was, it was...painful to lose someone he didn't have to bluff or flat-out lie to. Occasional muddled...confused periods aside

[fallen_ancient]

"There can be no humiliation in sharing your thoughts with someone who loves you as I do." That had always been his mistake, assuming she would not wish to know about his 'petty' and 'mundane' thoughts. Yet that had passed and she would not argue the point with him

[sgmitchell]

He was pretty sure that wasn't always true, but...maybe. One day, when it wasn't as raw and painful, he might see her and tell her. Until then...he was fairly certain Morgan knew well enough he wouldn't be seeking her out, anyway. Whether or not she knew he had witnessed Bill, he was fairly certain she knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't

[fallen_ancient]

Embraced, Morgan allowed herself to soften against him. Her hand slid up into his hair as it always had and drew his head to her shoulder. Her heart beat strong and solid, pulse quiet in her throat. The desire she felt for him had not faded, but the situation was not one that lent itself to that sort of intimacy. One day perhaps, but not today.

Instead, her voice fell warm and soft, hushed, quieting even the air around them it seemed to her. "I do not mean for us to be estranged, Cameron. I will give you time and space to accustom yourself to not seeing a girlfriend when you look at me, but do not imagine I intend to remove myself from your life." Unless he wished it, and then she would.

Although it was time now to leave, kindness demanded she let him choose the moment of it, so she did not physically disengage when she said: "Be well, love. I will be watching." Her lips quirked even as unexpected tears pricked at her eyes. Once felt, she blinked them easily away. It had been a very Ascended thing to say.

[sgmitchell]

Her words brought a soft, bitter smile. He wasn't certain there would ever really be a time he could look at her and see her as just a regular person. He knew well enough he'd move on eventually--not think of her every time he thought of...home. He'd probably interact with her just fine some day. But he doubted it would ever get to the point where he wouldn't see her as...not as his...but...as...special.

He also had a feeling, when she said she would be 'watching', she would be seeing him long before he saw her again.

His expression smoothed once more, when he did release her, and he summoned a slim, strong smile. "I'll..." It wouldn't be waiting, and it wasn't looking forward to it. "Keep an eye out."

He gave a brief nod, gripping her shoulder briefly. "You...good luck, Morgan. I hope you find that...new life. Really. You deserve it."

[fallen_ancient]

Leaning in, Morgan tilted her chin up to brush a kiss against his jaw, then lay her hand against his cheek.

There were no words left but the practical details of disentangling their lives and she had no need of speaking them. Cameron would not be so petty as to prohibit her access to what had been her home. He could not be.

"I will see you," she said, and then slipped away before either of them could say or do something to make it more difficult.