INCREDIBLE NEW INTERNET DISCOVERY
Towards the end of the Saturday night party in Versailles for Poultry Days, I stumbled over to a campfire, sat down next to the hottest chick there, and started heckling everyone in sight. Eventually I decided that I was sober enough to move and suddenly VERY HUNGRY- therefore she should bring me to her van (which I had learned contained Teddy Grahams). She insisted that that would be impossible; she was the youngest person on her team and she was going to get enough shit as it was without giving her teammates more fodder to make fun of her with.
Some indeterminate amount of time later-- barely slowed by one of those really analytical personalities that keep trying to rationalize everything she was doing (to which I obviously responded by mocking her and pointing out that she was doing everything because it was what I wanted, and that she shouldn't worry her pretty little head about it)-- I gathered all of our clothes in one hand and her in the other, and dashed back to my campsite, taking a circuitous route through all the remaining pockets of awake people, alternately exclaiming in a sing-song voice,
"LOOK AT US, WE'RE NUDE"
and:
"NAKED!!! WHEEEEE!"
despite her giggling protests.
I achieved my sleeping space by identifying the hammer-covered stump marking our territory, and paused outside. "Are you sure this is your tent??" she asked nervously. "Nope!" I cheerfully replied, and shoved her through, wiggling in behind her. "Oh well, no one's here, might as well just use it!"
7am came quickly, and the tent partially collapsed as Justin attempted to force his way inside without bothering to create an opening. I blearily returned his gaze as he eventually gets part of his head inside and gawked at the scene. Whole lotta nudity, as we hadn't bothered burdening ourselves with a load of blankets for the trip from Vermont. His eyes widened and his head quickly receded from the zipper hole, frantically yelling to all the surrounding camps and tents about how much of a pedophile I obviously am. "Duuuude, she told me she's 19," I tried to explain, looking to her for confirmation, but neither he nor any of my awakening teammates would have any of it. She just shrugged.
After some token conciliatory gestures on my part, he then crawled in and attempted to spoon me. Pausing only to mumble something about being forced out of a golf cart, he promptly re-passed out, awkwardly, with his back pressed against mine.
Justin doesn't actually remember his actions from a certain point in the night until about 11am, and I really didn't know what to make of his golf cart story, but....!!
I have just made an incredible discovery while searching Google that has had me chortling madly since the find.
With no further ado, I present the unaltered true story of what happened to Justin between the hours of 3 and 7am on June 10th, 2007:
Some indeterminate amount of time later-- barely slowed by one of those really analytical personalities that keep trying to rationalize everything she was doing (to which I obviously responded by mocking her and pointing out that she was doing everything because it was what I wanted, and that she shouldn't worry her pretty little head about it)-- I gathered all of our clothes in one hand and her in the other, and dashed back to my campsite, taking a circuitous route through all the remaining pockets of awake people, alternately exclaiming in a sing-song voice,
"LOOK AT US, WE'RE NUDE"
and:
"NAKED!!! WHEEEEE!"
despite her giggling protests.
I achieved my sleeping space by identifying the hammer-covered stump marking our territory, and paused outside. "Are you sure this is your tent??" she asked nervously. "Nope!" I cheerfully replied, and shoved her through, wiggling in behind her. "Oh well, no one's here, might as well just use it!"
7am came quickly, and the tent partially collapsed as Justin attempted to force his way inside without bothering to create an opening. I blearily returned his gaze as he eventually gets part of his head inside and gawked at the scene. Whole lotta nudity, as we hadn't bothered burdening ourselves with a load of blankets for the trip from Vermont. His eyes widened and his head quickly receded from the zipper hole, frantically yelling to all the surrounding camps and tents about how much of a pedophile I obviously am. "Duuuude, she told me she's 19," I tried to explain, looking to her for confirmation, but neither he nor any of my awakening teammates would have any of it. She just shrugged.
After some token conciliatory gestures on my part, he then crawled in and attempted to spoon me. Pausing only to mumble something about being forced out of a golf cart, he promptly re-passed out, awkwardly, with his back pressed against mine.
Justin doesn't actually remember his actions from a certain point in the night until about 11am, and I really didn't know what to make of his golf cart story, but....!!
I have just made an incredible discovery while searching Google that has had me chortling madly since the find.
With no further ado, I present the unaltered true story of what happened to Justin between the hours of 3 and 7am on June 10th, 2007: