(no subject)
It's sort of odd how I tell myself sometimes that a lot of anxieties/insecurities are needless, and one day they will all just fizzle out into nothingness. Yet I guess I only remotely realise this when I'm not in anxious situations, and it's more than annoying to come to the conclusion that I still get anxious over things, and they render me totally useless.
It's like there are several brick walls, and most of them are more consequence related, i.e not talking to someone when I should do, and assuming that I've fucked things up/will fuck things up when I haven't/probably won't. The fear of rejection is always in my sub-consciousness, which is odd considering I've never forcedly put myself in that position to be rejected.
Yet I will still wake up tomorrow won't I? Nothing possibly socially related could ever kill me, and that's not something I ever think about, it's just intimate issues about intimacy, and I can't really see myself ever being at that point unless the someone I am affectionate with (bearing in mind the last person was in November of last year) knows about all this shit first.
Well that's good timing, I can hear my flatmate's girlfriend achieve orgasm next door. *rolls eyes*
It's like there are several brick walls, and most of them are more consequence related, i.e not talking to someone when I should do, and assuming that I've fucked things up/will fuck things up when I haven't/probably won't. The fear of rejection is always in my sub-consciousness, which is odd considering I've never forcedly put myself in that position to be rejected.
Yet I will still wake up tomorrow won't I? Nothing possibly socially related could ever kill me, and that's not something I ever think about, it's just intimate issues about intimacy, and I can't really see myself ever being at that point unless the someone I am affectionate with (bearing in mind the last person was in November of last year) knows about all this shit first.
Well that's good timing, I can hear my flatmate's girlfriend achieve orgasm next door. *rolls eyes*