Because we separate, it ripples our reflections.
It is currently raining outside, and I'm lying in bed typing a way whilst having a listen. Life has been relatively ok, I am back at uni now but figure I'll go start seeing a therapist soon, and finally find out what has been going on. It's gotten to the point again where I feel like I'm not doing enough about it, and although the meds do still work, pretty much, I figure now that it has been several months, I had better go find out. I'm thinking about possibilities of jobs or something to keep me occupied. It might help. I was diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression back in May, but for me now, seems like a on the spot type diagnosis that makes some sense, but nothing definitive.
I guess I do think about it a lot still. Except I'm no longer much of a hypochondriac about it. Something tells me I crashed pretty hard, and it is really difficult to explain but I've been heading down the same path for years; where I mess up friendships, possible relationships, and act quite selfishly and become trapped rather than being proactive. It's been difficult because I ended up having feelings for someone that was more than skin deep, for me anyway, and every time she looked at me it felt like a bombshell. Guess what? She still does it, and I don't know why after like, her being in a relationship for a year now. A little tip; don't fall for someone who also suffers from anxiety! You'd think it would be like magnetic when it's actually polar opposites. I'm guessing I should make peace with her though, but it would be kind of accepting everything I felt for a year means nothing. Might help to talk about it. I have done with her over msn two or three times, but I could probably be a lot more helpful. I swear her boyfriend makes her ill though; that's probably another shit thing; you know their other halves our complete twats.
But you always get to the point, time is a healer but I needed prozac to help me a long. It still hurts despite we never even kissed; why? I was to anxious...and it just seems so childish and un-natural, but lol, there you go. To be honest I think actually having feelings for someone who didn't have any back; that really kills, and it can ruin a lot of things. Especially social networking websites...it's just a hurtful place to be. Times have changed sure, I feel ready for something, but I guess what bothers me right now is that I've done the exact same thing again; pushed someone away who was only trying to get close, maybe only as a 'be friends' way, all is not lost, I haven't spoken to her inawhile, but she proper stared me out a week ago whilst being out, so I guess, there is a slight flame of optimism!
I guess the straightforward way to a girl's heart is actually be honest about how you feel. I'll get there one day.
I like the new Radiohead album a lot. Umm. Bye x
i like these films;
http://uk.youtube.com/user/pinkyshow
I guess I do think about it a lot still. Except I'm no longer much of a hypochondriac about it. Something tells me I crashed pretty hard, and it is really difficult to explain but I've been heading down the same path for years; where I mess up friendships, possible relationships, and act quite selfishly and become trapped rather than being proactive. It's been difficult because I ended up having feelings for someone that was more than skin deep, for me anyway, and every time she looked at me it felt like a bombshell. Guess what? She still does it, and I don't know why after like, her being in a relationship for a year now. A little tip; don't fall for someone who also suffers from anxiety! You'd think it would be like magnetic when it's actually polar opposites. I'm guessing I should make peace with her though, but it would be kind of accepting everything I felt for a year means nothing. Might help to talk about it. I have done with her over msn two or three times, but I could probably be a lot more helpful. I swear her boyfriend makes her ill though; that's probably another shit thing; you know their other halves our complete twats.
But you always get to the point, time is a healer but I needed prozac to help me a long. It still hurts despite we never even kissed; why? I was to anxious...and it just seems so childish and un-natural, but lol, there you go. To be honest I think actually having feelings for someone who didn't have any back; that really kills, and it can ruin a lot of things. Especially social networking websites...it's just a hurtful place to be. Times have changed sure, I feel ready for something, but I guess what bothers me right now is that I've done the exact same thing again; pushed someone away who was only trying to get close, maybe only as a 'be friends' way, all is not lost, I haven't spoken to her inawhile, but she proper stared me out a week ago whilst being out, so I guess, there is a slight flame of optimism!
I guess the straightforward way to a girl's heart is actually be honest about how you feel. I'll get there one day.
I like the new Radiohead album a lot. Umm. Bye x
i like these films;
http://uk.youtube.com/user/pinkyshow