Aug 14, 2018 21:47
I really want to be academically active: doing research, writing papers, participating in seminars and conferences. Before going here I determined to go abroad again this year, somewhere further, bringing an academic mission. I'm a scholarship student so I have this responsibility to be involved in many activities beside attending the classes. And I really want to do that.
Unfortunately, money still becomes the issue. :(
My scholarship--unlike LPDP--doesn't forbid its awardees to have a job while studying. They just demand the awardees to maintain the GPA as the rules. It makes me relieved because I know since the very beginning that I must find a job so I have another income. The living cost from the scholarship isn't quite much--I don't think it's enough for me to send money back home. I still have that responsibility to pay for groceries and so on.
It's hard and I'm kinda sad but I have no other choices.
I wasn't academically active when I was studying my undergraduate degree because I spent all my leisure time to finish my freelance job so I could match the deadline. Yes I often went to many library seminars but it was just that. So my hope is high to change it in this graduate degree. Moreover, the dean here--back when he welcomed us, the new graduate students--told us many academic programs and discussions which sounded really interesting. I wanna get involved. But I don't know whether I can do that if I have to split my focus on future work.
I still don't have a job yet, anyway. And I'm still hoping to get a freelance job so it won't disturb the study. I know that I have to choose, and of course I can't sacrifice my family's welfare if I prefer pursuing to study full-time without working at all. Beside, like I said above, the living cost from the scholarship is below the amount I need. I can't just depend on it.
Yes I have known this in the first place that continuing my study means I have to quit a pretty good job and lose a steady income. But this is an investment for better life in the future. I need a graduate certificate to be able to apply for a higher position, which means a better salary, which means an increase for our living quality. As an orphan I have to fight on my own because there are no parents to provide for me and my brother.
I just hope that I can get a job, or income, by working something that not bothering my study.
me