Insecure!!
I'm just sooooooo insecure with my novel.........
I don't know; I'm just insecure.
I continuously ask myself, "Is it good enough? Will the publisher accept it?"
My target is "published", not "win". I still want to write a lot. I still want to see my novels in bookstores all over the world. Yes I'm studying a pragmatic major and looking for a settled job because I know how it is to be a writer in Indonesia. You have to be a super-mega-best-seller author to be able to just write books for living. And it's not easy you know. I need money and steady life, so I'm better having a settled job but never stop writing. Like Ika Natassa, maybe. It's safer to live in two different worlds.
But.
But, I love writing with all my heart. I have stories within me that I want people to know and read. I want to share those stories and inspire people to do good.
Yet I'm too insecure that I can't spill it out well. I'm too afraid that my writing is bad and do not match the market's demands--which means less chance to have it published. I've been rejected too often that it affected my confidence. I don't know if my writing is really bad or I'm just not good to sell my stories or I have not found a perfect publisher for my novels? I really don't know.
I really don't know.......
I'm too insecure........
But I have this deadline, and my will to finish this novel--to see my characters find their endings--is bigger than my insecurity.
However, I need to write this blog post before I continue writing.
I don't know; I'm just insecure.
I continuously ask myself, "Is it good enough? Will the publisher accept it?"
My target is "published", not "win". I still want to write a lot. I still want to see my novels in bookstores all over the world. Yes I'm studying a pragmatic major and looking for a settled job because I know how it is to be a writer in Indonesia. You have to be a super-mega-best-seller author to be able to just write books for living. And it's not easy you know. I need money and steady life, so I'm better having a settled job but never stop writing. Like Ika Natassa, maybe. It's safer to live in two different worlds.
But.
But, I love writing with all my heart. I have stories within me that I want people to know and read. I want to share those stories and inspire people to do good.
Yet I'm too insecure that I can't spill it out well. I'm too afraid that my writing is bad and do not match the market's demands--which means less chance to have it published. I've been rejected too often that it affected my confidence. I don't know if my writing is really bad or I'm just not good to sell my stories or I have not found a perfect publisher for my novels? I really don't know.
I really don't know.......
I'm too insecure........
But I have this deadline, and my will to finish this novel--to see my characters find their endings--is bigger than my insecurity.
However, I need to write this blog post before I continue writing.