[dark angel] shadow
Title: Shadow
Author: aaronlisa
Fandom: Dark Angel
Pairing/Characters: Alec (X5-494), Ben (X5-493), Lydecker, Dr. Renfro
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: Dark Angel belongs to James Cameron, Charles H. Eglee and company.
Prompts: Written for jacc_off ficathon for my prompt of a genfic dealing with these Ben and Alec and how their lives are intertwined
Notes: Set pre-series.
Summary: How can half of him been missing when he has no one?
Word Count: 1000
All of his life, he’s felt incomplete as if half of him is missing yet he’s always done his best to stamp out this feeling because it’s impossible. How can half of him been missing when he has no one?
* * *
The first time X5-494 learns that he’s not alone in his world, that his feelings of incompleteness come when he’s dragged out of his bed in the middle of the night to PSY-OPS with a group of eleven others. Six months of PSY-OPS and two years of re-indoctrination makes 494 hate his own face to the point of where he can’t stand to look in mirrors.
* * *
He sheds 493 and adopts the name Ben and he tries to live in a world where he has no one. No Max, no Zach or Tinga, or any of his other siblings. He wonders sometimes if he’s the only who’s survived the escape. And then six months later, the world falls apart and he’s left struggling to survive along with everyone else. Months blur into other months until he’s sixteen years old (or at least he thinks he’s sixteen) and he somehow thinks that the Pulse was his fault for being a bad solider.
* * *
By the time he’s sixteen 494 has accepted that he’s a solider but he learns to adapt and he dreams of freedom. He does what he can to make cash inside Manticore because cash is what gives him the few freedoms he has within the cold, grey concrete walls. Sure his freedom’s no where near like the freedom that the soldiers who guard them have but it’s enough. He can get away with breaking a few minor rules and he’s smart enough to know that if there’s ever another escape, he’ll need money to bankroll his life on the outside.
* * *
After his first kill, Ben becomes 493 once more. He tries to be a good soldier but he doesn’t know what his mission is. He doesn’t know what his orders are and he can’t find the person who will give him those orders. He can’t even remember where home, Manticore, once was. He asks people that he thinks will know but they never know just like they never truly believe in the Blue Lady. He kills and kills and kills and he believes that he is truly disciplined but that he is still being punished for being weak and running away with Max and Zach.
* * *
494 is dragged back to PSY-OPS and he can’t help but notice that he’s by himself. None of the others from seven years ago are being dragged back and he tries to beg the guards, the same guards who he had bartered with for the last two years, to let him go but their faces turn to stone as they drag him down the hall. He’s crying but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to go back to PSY-OPS where they’ll torture him for having the face of a criminal.
* * *
493 lies awake on the cold and lumpy mattress and he tries to figure out a way to find redemption. Part of him wants to go home so badly but the other part knows that there’s something wrong with him, something broken inside of him. He’s starting to hear whispers about others like himself spread out throughout the United States. And he decides that if he can ever find Max or Zach, he’ll go back and see if they can lead him back to being good.
* * *
Lydecker enters his cell and stares at him for the longest time. He knows that there’s something the older man wants to say and he wants to ask him what it is but he’s broken, bruised and he knows that anything he says will be considered insubordination. He’s had his taste of being normal and he never wants to have that again. Rachel’s dead because of him and it’s time that he accepts the fact that his role in life is to be a good little soldier.
“493 is dead,” Lydecker coldly states.
He still waits for the real reason why Lydecker came to visit him. And although he’s careful to not to betray himself, there’s a part of 494 that’s relieved to hear that his twin is dead. From the little that he’s been able to glean, 493 sounds like he was nothing but bad news.
“It would seem that you’re nothing like 493. You’re capable of love.”
With that Lydecker leaves his cell and 494 is left alone.
* * *
Renfro’s worse than Lydecker ever was and 494’s not happy about being brought in to her. She gives him an appraising look as she sits in front of him, 494 knows that she’s colder and harder than Lydecker. From what he has heard, Lydecker actually cared about them whereas Renfro views them as expendable.
“I have a mission for you 494; one that might be able to make up for the disaster with the Berrisfords.”
He doesn’t say a word as she continues on and he listens, like a good little soldier is supposed to do.
“You’re going to be paired of with 452 and you’re going to keep me informed of every thing that she does.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“You do know that she was the one who killed 493; let’s hope that she doesn’t do the same with you.”
When he leaves, 494 realizes that all of his life he has been living under 493’s shadow and he will never ever be able to escape that shadow. Yet at the same time, he feels as if there’s a part of him that’s missing and it worries him because he knows that his other half was insane. When he’s back in his cell, 494 worries that eventually he’ll succumb to the shadow that he lives under and he’ll go insane just like 493 did.
**END**
Author: aaronlisa
Fandom: Dark Angel
Pairing/Characters: Alec (X5-494), Ben (X5-493), Lydecker, Dr. Renfro
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: Dark Angel belongs to James Cameron, Charles H. Eglee and company.
Prompts: Written for jacc_off ficathon for my prompt of a genfic dealing with these Ben and Alec and how their lives are intertwined
Notes: Set pre-series.
Summary: How can half of him been missing when he has no one?
Word Count: 1000
All of his life, he’s felt incomplete as if half of him is missing yet he’s always done his best to stamp out this feeling because it’s impossible. How can half of him been missing when he has no one?
* * *
The first time X5-494 learns that he’s not alone in his world, that his feelings of incompleteness come when he’s dragged out of his bed in the middle of the night to PSY-OPS with a group of eleven others. Six months of PSY-OPS and two years of re-indoctrination makes 494 hate his own face to the point of where he can’t stand to look in mirrors.
* * *
He sheds 493 and adopts the name Ben and he tries to live in a world where he has no one. No Max, no Zach or Tinga, or any of his other siblings. He wonders sometimes if he’s the only who’s survived the escape. And then six months later, the world falls apart and he’s left struggling to survive along with everyone else. Months blur into other months until he’s sixteen years old (or at least he thinks he’s sixteen) and he somehow thinks that the Pulse was his fault for being a bad solider.
* * *
By the time he’s sixteen 494 has accepted that he’s a solider but he learns to adapt and he dreams of freedom. He does what he can to make cash inside Manticore because cash is what gives him the few freedoms he has within the cold, grey concrete walls. Sure his freedom’s no where near like the freedom that the soldiers who guard them have but it’s enough. He can get away with breaking a few minor rules and he’s smart enough to know that if there’s ever another escape, he’ll need money to bankroll his life on the outside.
* * *
After his first kill, Ben becomes 493 once more. He tries to be a good soldier but he doesn’t know what his mission is. He doesn’t know what his orders are and he can’t find the person who will give him those orders. He can’t even remember where home, Manticore, once was. He asks people that he thinks will know but they never know just like they never truly believe in the Blue Lady. He kills and kills and kills and he believes that he is truly disciplined but that he is still being punished for being weak and running away with Max and Zach.
* * *
494 is dragged back to PSY-OPS and he can’t help but notice that he’s by himself. None of the others from seven years ago are being dragged back and he tries to beg the guards, the same guards who he had bartered with for the last two years, to let him go but their faces turn to stone as they drag him down the hall. He’s crying but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to go back to PSY-OPS where they’ll torture him for having the face of a criminal.
* * *
493 lies awake on the cold and lumpy mattress and he tries to figure out a way to find redemption. Part of him wants to go home so badly but the other part knows that there’s something wrong with him, something broken inside of him. He’s starting to hear whispers about others like himself spread out throughout the United States. And he decides that if he can ever find Max or Zach, he’ll go back and see if they can lead him back to being good.
* * *
Lydecker enters his cell and stares at him for the longest time. He knows that there’s something the older man wants to say and he wants to ask him what it is but he’s broken, bruised and he knows that anything he says will be considered insubordination. He’s had his taste of being normal and he never wants to have that again. Rachel’s dead because of him and it’s time that he accepts the fact that his role in life is to be a good little soldier.
“493 is dead,” Lydecker coldly states.
He still waits for the real reason why Lydecker came to visit him. And although he’s careful to not to betray himself, there’s a part of 494 that’s relieved to hear that his twin is dead. From the little that he’s been able to glean, 493 sounds like he was nothing but bad news.
“It would seem that you’re nothing like 493. You’re capable of love.”
With that Lydecker leaves his cell and 494 is left alone.
* * *
Renfro’s worse than Lydecker ever was and 494’s not happy about being brought in to her. She gives him an appraising look as she sits in front of him, 494 knows that she’s colder and harder than Lydecker. From what he has heard, Lydecker actually cared about them whereas Renfro views them as expendable.
“I have a mission for you 494; one that might be able to make up for the disaster with the Berrisfords.”
He doesn’t say a word as she continues on and he listens, like a good little soldier is supposed to do.
“You’re going to be paired of with 452 and you’re going to keep me informed of every thing that she does.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“You do know that she was the one who killed 493; let’s hope that she doesn’t do the same with you.”
When he leaves, 494 realizes that all of his life he has been living under 493’s shadow and he will never ever be able to escape that shadow. Yet at the same time, he feels as if there’s a part of him that’s missing and it worries him because he knows that his other half was insane. When he’s back in his cell, 494 worries that eventually he’ll succumb to the shadow that he lives under and he’ll go insane just like 493 did.
**END**