Last Chance to Lose Your Keys
I've checked my phone and every blog and website that I normally frequent. Nothing. Entertain me. Entertain me.
Ugh. Maybe I'll entertain you.
My hands are dry, and I really hope the scars on my arms heal before Friday night or at least look a little less conspicuous. I've been slowly sifting through old LJ entries, the ones I've blocked from viewing because sometimes, you don't want everyone to remember how you acted when...The frequency with which I mention "Say Anything" is disheartening. I've maybe seen that movie three times. And yet...damn you, John Hughes.
On a completely different side note, that dress in Pretty in Pink is ugly. There I said. it. Ugly. Hideous. Ugly.
I know. You're thinking that I'm callous. And you've seen how I dress. I see your point. And I raise you Bridget Jones' theory: you're most likely to be attractive to someone when you're wearing granny panties. God, these things are huge.
I guess I could work on a best of list or something considering it's the end of the year. I tend to lose interest whenever I start writing them. I used to write a weekly top ten list. It slowly morphed into a monthly top ten, then a whenever I could remember (every 2 or 3 months or so) top ten. This year was weird. I didn't have any friends here last year. Now, I have some. Last year, I didn't have any expectations. Didn't have any idea of how this town would be. And now...I'm dangerously coming close to feeling comfortable which means heartbreak is inevitable. I used to be so comfortable in Chicago, it's just time that will show whether or not I'll unravel...26 is my safe number. Shhhh. I don't think I can explain.
So no top whatever list. I barely know what came out in records & movies. The majority of what I listen to is at least a decade old if not older or bad current top 40. Mindless. I remember last year, everyone was making top 7 lists because there wasn't enough to fill a top 10 and they couldn't bear to put 3 more albums that were just marginal on the list. Fucking posers.
I had a weird dream last night. I guess I'm thinking of new year's eve too much. Emily looked at me very seriously and asked if this would be different than the last time. I'm afraid it won't be. Despite reaching to be the hero, I think I'm the villain. I guess I'm tired of reaching. Like scene in Watchmen where Dr Manhattan turns his back on humanity because he just doesn't understand them anymore, you try to save them, and they just want to destroy themselves, I missing some key piece of understanding because I don't get any of this.
Last year, I told Ashley I wanted to be a recluse. She said I was too young.
This wasn't very entertaining. I'm sorry. I tend towards a drastic downturn. I'll unblock some old entries and you can laugh at my past while I note that nothing has really changed. Same story, different characters, no more interesting.