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embraceguilt in eyeseelife

(Untitled)

Jul 26, 2005 23:29

For more than a year of my two and a half year marriage I slept with the man that I think I was ment to be with. I now have not spoken to him since January. I masturbate to thougths of him and our fantasies together on a daily basis. I miss him so much ( Read more... )

Comments 12

sprinkleme77 July 27 2005, 15:45:19 UTC

and you've never been caught?

embraceguilt July 28 2005, 19:54:05 UTC

nope, never caught. I fessed up in fall last year tho. I promised to cut contact with those that I had been intimate with, especially with the one that I loved. I thought confessing would help me get better, but the only thing that has changed me at all was seeing my husband hurt.

sprinkleme77 July 28 2005, 20:19:33 UTC

well, at least you cleared your conscience a little by confessing. although, you might wanna think about what it is your missing from you marriage that gives you such pleasure from these other men. i dont think its wrong of you to want more. people change constantly and its hard to keep a clear head when you crave attention or love from others. its in us to want such things. i myself never plan on marrying because i dont trust that i wont change my feelings somewhere down the road. it happens....

i would say do what youre gonna do. cuz no matter what any of us tell you to do, youre gonna do it. and personally i would just say do it! =D

sprinkleme77 July 28 2005, 20:20:11 UTC

shit! sorry for the anon comment, that was me. hehe.

savethetiger July 27 2005, 17:41:43 UTC

THats what I"m wondering. Never caught??

embraceguilt August 3 2005, 05:33:30 UTC

see above. :)

fascist_twerp July 29 2005, 16:49:22 UTC

You're so sexy...such a sexy woman.

embraceguilt August 3 2005, 05:33:47 UTC

What makes you say that?

fascist_twerp August 3 2005, 12:35:50 UTC

A few things...one, I'm totally horny. Secondly, you a self-proclaimed slut. And third, you're sexually open and understanding of your sexual desires. You seem like a really beautiful woman...your hubby is a lucky man.

redcurlyq August 6 2005, 01:48:44 UTC

Are you making the other men use condoms? Please be careful.

embraceguilt August 11 2005, 00:19:59 UTC

Thank you for the concern... I am reformed. This journal is my way of letting of the stress that my new, honest life feeds to me.

I didnt always use condoms. I have been tested recently and I am in the clear.

your cheating ways stuckwoyou October 13 2005, 19:14:55 UTC

I am sorry to say that declaring to your husband that you were not faithful is not going to help. One of the posters was close when he said that you get something from other guys. People do not usually cheat because they are horny or even that they are not satisfied sexually. Some are, but usually not. Rather, most people carry some sort of emotional pain which lowers their esteem. They start to not like themselves. Rather then feel that pain, people try to dull it with something that makes them feel better or better about themselves. Some use alcohol, others drugs, and others sex. This sexual attention made you feel better about yourself, more attractive, desirable, etc. The problem is the cheating later made you feel worse and added to your dislike for yourself. Then, you needed to cheat to help bury those feelings. You feel better about yourself when your with him; you start to love yourself when you're with him. That love then gets projected onto him. That is why you are cheating, you love him. That's wrong. You ( ... )