and i will never ever disrespect boy, i love you straight to my last breath yeah...
man time to update...ive slacked off royally on this...i never open up my laptop anymore cause its always sooooo freaking slow and the power plug is broken so if i touch it, it stops sending a power current and i have to jiggle it till it works again and it just frustrates me!!! lol sooo yes, its been a while...
anyways! brendan and i have/had been hanging out a lot...last friday i went over to his place to hang out, my brother called asking for a ride home and his friend was going to drop him off later at a place that was between brendans and my house...so i asked brendan if i could stick around till my brother called, he said it wouldnt be a problem...anyway, like 3 am comes around, and so he and i head to his room to sleep till my brother called and we ended up cuddling...but thats it...i was all kinds of emotionally fucked up by it...
then saturday he calls me and asked me to go over..i do, he literally opens the door, walks me to his room, gets in bed and again...sleep...yeah, i was a booty call with no booty...so then i was pissed...like wtf? right? sunday i was with another friend so i didnt go over
well tuesday night he asks me to go over again..he was busy and finally at like 1230 hes like come over now? i was like well are we going to hang out or just sleep? hes like no no i have a lot to talk about its been a long day. so i go over, we chill in his living room and talk for like an hour, then hes like im gonna go to bed. i was like k i think im gonna go...hes like naw come lie down with me for a bit, we'll talk some more...well i give in, a bit more of talking about the winter coming and how we need to do fun things together anddddd well it was more touchy this time, and he leans in and kissed me...i couldnt have made it anymore perfect if id have imagined it all. he is, in my definition, the perfect kisser....i stopped him and he like, kissed my cheek, nose, forehead, played with my hair...he was so attentive to ME! it was sooo so soooooo perfect....but i stopped him, ruined the moment as i do best...asked him what we were doing...he tells me we're kissing, i go why? hes like cause it feels right? and he told me not to over think it, i need to just let it be...somehow i gave in to him again and we made out some more. anyway thats where it ended, just kissing and then i left around 2:30. and while i was leaving he was like so you're coming back tomorrow and i was like i dont know we'll see...well i havent really spoken to him much since and i dont like it...i usually hear from him every day.
so i made plans for tonight and will be distracted. if he calls me, well, i think ill go over and bring this up...be like forget we kissed if its going to change our friendship...
still have tons of other boys in my life too at least distracting me and im currently suuuuper happy being single but somehow i think i would be happy in a relationship with him even though he's probably bad news....he has broken through the tall brick wall i had built around me.
anyways! brendan and i have/had been hanging out a lot...last friday i went over to his place to hang out, my brother called asking for a ride home and his friend was going to drop him off later at a place that was between brendans and my house...so i asked brendan if i could stick around till my brother called, he said it wouldnt be a problem...anyway, like 3 am comes around, and so he and i head to his room to sleep till my brother called and we ended up cuddling...but thats it...i was all kinds of emotionally fucked up by it...
then saturday he calls me and asked me to go over..i do, he literally opens the door, walks me to his room, gets in bed and again...sleep...yeah, i was a booty call with no booty...so then i was pissed...like wtf? right? sunday i was with another friend so i didnt go over
well tuesday night he asks me to go over again..he was busy and finally at like 1230 hes like come over now? i was like well are we going to hang out or just sleep? hes like no no i have a lot to talk about its been a long day. so i go over, we chill in his living room and talk for like an hour, then hes like im gonna go to bed. i was like k i think im gonna go...hes like naw come lie down with me for a bit, we'll talk some more...well i give in, a bit more of talking about the winter coming and how we need to do fun things together anddddd well it was more touchy this time, and he leans in and kissed me...i couldnt have made it anymore perfect if id have imagined it all. he is, in my definition, the perfect kisser....i stopped him and he like, kissed my cheek, nose, forehead, played with my hair...he was so attentive to ME! it was sooo so soooooo perfect....but i stopped him, ruined the moment as i do best...asked him what we were doing...he tells me we're kissing, i go why? hes like cause it feels right? and he told me not to over think it, i need to just let it be...somehow i gave in to him again and we made out some more. anyway thats where it ended, just kissing and then i left around 2:30. and while i was leaving he was like so you're coming back tomorrow and i was like i dont know we'll see...well i havent really spoken to him much since and i dont like it...i usually hear from him every day.
so i made plans for tonight and will be distracted. if he calls me, well, i think ill go over and bring this up...be like forget we kissed if its going to change our friendship...
still have tons of other boys in my life too at least distracting me and im currently suuuuper happy being single but somehow i think i would be happy in a relationship with him even though he's probably bad news....he has broken through the tall brick wall i had built around me.