almost a year...
Holy cannoli...I realized that I haven't posted anything here since Dec. 16th, 2008. Perhaps I should have held out and made it a solid year of non-posting but what they heck, here I am.
I have to say I have been slightly inspired to write here today based on some posts you all have been making over the past almost year (yes, I do still lurk and keep up if I don't always comment...and if I do comment, it may not always be in a timely manner).
It seems many of you on my friends list have been writing and pondering about things that, coincidentally, I have been pondering, but obviously not writing about. I am mainly referring to spirituality/religion/the meaning of it all, etc. Actually, this has been something I have pondered about for a long long time. I don't always feel like my sense of spirituality necessarily fits into a pre-cut religion or belief system. I did some time in catholic school; one year to be exact...long enough to realize I am not a catholic or any other derivative of that particular religion. I spent my fair share of time as an embittered athiest, but felt like a hypocrite because, while not believing in a God, per se, I felt there was "something" out there. So for lack of anything better to call myself, I'd check off "other" whenever prompted for a religion.
I've been investigating for some time now somewhere to fit in. Since I was a child, I have constantly felt an insanely strong spiritual connection to nature, so I thought, why not read about some nature-based religions: Wicca (too involved in fairies and performing rituals in the name of the Goddess Diana..I am to practical-minded for that), Paganism (a very blanket term, but almost got me because of the agricultural and natural connections in the holidays and celebrations, except all the authors of the books I read were really Wiccans wanting me to perform rituals so no thank you), Pantheism (closest I got to a winner because of the belief that all of nature is really what is "god" until I read their manifest of rules in which you are not allowed to believe in an afterlife, so again, no thank you)...and the mention of these three belief systems only scratches the surface of what I have investigated.
So, to spare you the long and drawn out frustration I went through in this quest, I have decided I am still "other"...but have also decided to pick and choose an a la carte religion from the menu of beliefs I have studied: I have realized I do feel a connection to many of the pagan holidays for their agricultural significance (and I strongly believe that agriculture is the root of ALL religion) so I feel I will recognize these holidays and celebrate them in my own small ways. And I appreciate paganism for the acknowledgement of the "wheel of the year", the changes the earth goes through from one season to the next, and its beauty and effect on all living things. I do feel strongly in the pantheistic belief in the earth and cosmos to be what I consider God. And what of Magick? I do not believe in the magick that Wiccans believe in. I do not believe a human can create magick by casting a circle with a wand and performing a ritual with herbs, water, fire, etc. It is interesting in a communal and ritualistic sense...much as I recognize the importance of communion in Catholicism and a seder in Judaism, etc., but it is not something I believe in.
But I do believe in magic...nature is magic. The earth is magic. The heavens are magic. A bird flying south for the winter is magic. A colony of bees working together to nuture their queen is magic. Leaves turning from green to red, orange, yellow and brown is magic. No human can create that magic...only nature can make that magic. The mere fact that this place exists is magic.
And I think my belief in the afterlife is more a scientific one rather than a religious one. I do believe we go on in some way...or should I say I hope we do because I LOVE this magical place too much to accept I will not have it forever. But what if I am wrong? What if dead is dead? Well, if that's the case, I suppose I won't know any different once I am dead, will I? None of us will. So why not appreciate this place we love and cherish all the more while we are here, in an existence we are positive of. Do not live with the hopes that our next life will be better, or we will look down upon our loved ones from the sky in the afterlife. Make THIS life better. Protect your loved ones NOW.
So what is my religion? I suppose I am a spiritual scientific pagan tree hugger...I don't know...I guess I better keep checking off "other".
I have to say I have been slightly inspired to write here today based on some posts you all have been making over the past almost year (yes, I do still lurk and keep up if I don't always comment...and if I do comment, it may not always be in a timely manner).
It seems many of you on my friends list have been writing and pondering about things that, coincidentally, I have been pondering, but obviously not writing about. I am mainly referring to spirituality/religion/the meaning of it all, etc. Actually, this has been something I have pondered about for a long long time. I don't always feel like my sense of spirituality necessarily fits into a pre-cut religion or belief system. I did some time in catholic school; one year to be exact...long enough to realize I am not a catholic or any other derivative of that particular religion. I spent my fair share of time as an embittered athiest, but felt like a hypocrite because, while not believing in a God, per se, I felt there was "something" out there. So for lack of anything better to call myself, I'd check off "other" whenever prompted for a religion.
I've been investigating for some time now somewhere to fit in. Since I was a child, I have constantly felt an insanely strong spiritual connection to nature, so I thought, why not read about some nature-based religions: Wicca (too involved in fairies and performing rituals in the name of the Goddess Diana..I am to practical-minded for that), Paganism (a very blanket term, but almost got me because of the agricultural and natural connections in the holidays and celebrations, except all the authors of the books I read were really Wiccans wanting me to perform rituals so no thank you), Pantheism (closest I got to a winner because of the belief that all of nature is really what is "god" until I read their manifest of rules in which you are not allowed to believe in an afterlife, so again, no thank you)...and the mention of these three belief systems only scratches the surface of what I have investigated.
So, to spare you the long and drawn out frustration I went through in this quest, I have decided I am still "other"...but have also decided to pick and choose an a la carte religion from the menu of beliefs I have studied: I have realized I do feel a connection to many of the pagan holidays for their agricultural significance (and I strongly believe that agriculture is the root of ALL religion) so I feel I will recognize these holidays and celebrate them in my own small ways. And I appreciate paganism for the acknowledgement of the "wheel of the year", the changes the earth goes through from one season to the next, and its beauty and effect on all living things. I do feel strongly in the pantheistic belief in the earth and cosmos to be what I consider God. And what of Magick? I do not believe in the magick that Wiccans believe in. I do not believe a human can create magick by casting a circle with a wand and performing a ritual with herbs, water, fire, etc. It is interesting in a communal and ritualistic sense...much as I recognize the importance of communion in Catholicism and a seder in Judaism, etc., but it is not something I believe in.
But I do believe in magic...nature is magic. The earth is magic. The heavens are magic. A bird flying south for the winter is magic. A colony of bees working together to nuture their queen is magic. Leaves turning from green to red, orange, yellow and brown is magic. No human can create that magic...only nature can make that magic. The mere fact that this place exists is magic.
And I think my belief in the afterlife is more a scientific one rather than a religious one. I do believe we go on in some way...or should I say I hope we do because I LOVE this magical place too much to accept I will not have it forever. But what if I am wrong? What if dead is dead? Well, if that's the case, I suppose I won't know any different once I am dead, will I? None of us will. So why not appreciate this place we love and cherish all the more while we are here, in an existence we are positive of. Do not live with the hopes that our next life will be better, or we will look down upon our loved ones from the sky in the afterlife. Make THIS life better. Protect your loved ones NOW.
So what is my religion? I suppose I am a spiritual scientific pagan tree hugger...I don't know...I guess I better keep checking off "other".