(no subject)
This is supposedly the season for unselfishness and goodness knows I'm very much like that right now but somehow, that seems to be more of a problem, an issue, a hindrance...any word you can find that has a negative connation. I gave my entire thanksgiving weekend to helping my mom with baking and cooking, and then clean up. And stood in 20 degree weather and inches of snow with cold winds just to help dad with outside decorations. This weekend, my entire schedule evolved around baking cookies and bars. This friday I took care of my nephew and attended a fundraiser. My mondays to thursdays are reserved to the non profit I work for. The one selfish thing I did all week is run errands and spend a couple hours at a mall. Until Christmas, there is always gonna be something unselfish I have to do with my sister's big 30th party, work, my dad's surgery, and then christmas preparations all again (decorating included).
What do I get out of it? Accusations that I need to be living up to my educational background, finding a full-time job, that I need to watch shows because the DVR is pretty full. That I should have attended black friday sales. Goodness knows in the beginning and anything with my nephew, I did with an open heart because I wanted to help, make things easier. Now I just trudge through everything because it's expected, take the crap they say, and numbly complete my ever growing list of responsibilities. Saying no is just not allowed. Yet with their behavior, they act like I should be exactly doing that. Well, my mom realizes how contradictory this all is to her credit but everyone else? Nope.
I love Advent, I love the true reason of the season, meaning of it. That is Jesus birth and goodwill. I truly hate everything else though. I hate the responsibilities, the baking, decorating, gifts, meal preparations. Name it and there's a 90% chance I'll hate it. I'll tell you, I must love being treated horribly because I'm a good person willing to give her services in this season. Granted, being 100% selfish is truly a problem and one or two points they have but this treatment is absolutely hypocritical.
What do I get out of it? Accusations that I need to be living up to my educational background, finding a full-time job, that I need to watch shows because the DVR is pretty full. That I should have attended black friday sales. Goodness knows in the beginning and anything with my nephew, I did with an open heart because I wanted to help, make things easier. Now I just trudge through everything because it's expected, take the crap they say, and numbly complete my ever growing list of responsibilities. Saying no is just not allowed. Yet with their behavior, they act like I should be exactly doing that. Well, my mom realizes how contradictory this all is to her credit but everyone else? Nope.
I love Advent, I love the true reason of the season, meaning of it. That is Jesus birth and goodwill. I truly hate everything else though. I hate the responsibilities, the baking, decorating, gifts, meal preparations. Name it and there's a 90% chance I'll hate it. I'll tell you, I must love being treated horribly because I'm a good person willing to give her services in this season. Granted, being 100% selfish is truly a problem and one or two points they have but this treatment is absolutely hypocritical.