( And I think this is what he meant. )

No more tears, my heart is dry.
I don't laugh and I don't cry,
I don't think about you all the time,
but when I do I wonder why.

remember to write about Counting Crows, bonfire night, Inveraray.

When does this stop? How do I ever get used to the fact that I won't ever sit beside you in the car again? Just after it happened people understood, people knew there'd been a loss and if I had to leave the room for a bit they knew why. But it's been months, how do I explain these waves of grief that knock me back? How do I say to someone, I'm sad ( Read more... )

At work tonight one of the regulars was talking to Gill and me about cars. His wife has a blue mercedes with a soft top and I've been told this before, but today I remembered being in Gabri's blue mercedes with the soft top. Going to get pizza and trying to think what to say, what small talk to make that could convey how worried I was about her, ( Read more... )

I don't think I've ever experienced it this way - waking is like surfacing into sadness. I'm okay, I'm just sad. When I woke up today I remembered that I'll never see her again. It settled on me like a cloud. I might try and go back to sleep.