Vampire Awareness
In my inbox today, I received a message with the following subject line: “vampire may provide better pain relief.”
And I thought, “No, dude! That’s what they want you to think!”
People, I hope you all realize that a vampire is not an appropriate substitute for a proper acupuncturist. I know the Holistic Vampirism Council has been very active in promoting vampires as an alternative pain reliever, but independent studies have clearly shown that they are far exaggerating their claims. People visiting vampires are far more likely to report increased pain, as well as fatigue, open wounds, and rising from the dead to drink the blood of the living. Never mind that there is no way to guarantee that the vampire has sanitized the piercing apparatus.
I think it’s time we crack down on these vampires spreading false information to consumers already burdened with physical discomfort. Be sure to report all illegal vampire pain relief clinics, and spread word to your friends and family to beware of these scam operations.
And I thought, “No, dude! That’s what they want you to think!”
People, I hope you all realize that a vampire is not an appropriate substitute for a proper acupuncturist. I know the Holistic Vampirism Council has been very active in promoting vampires as an alternative pain reliever, but independent studies have clearly shown that they are far exaggerating their claims. People visiting vampires are far more likely to report increased pain, as well as fatigue, open wounds, and rising from the dead to drink the blood of the living. Never mind that there is no way to guarantee that the vampire has sanitized the piercing apparatus.
I think it’s time we crack down on these vampires spreading false information to consumers already burdened with physical discomfort. Be sure to report all illegal vampire pain relief clinics, and spread word to your friends and family to beware of these scam operations.