Dreamz Aren't Easy
Yeah, I've been getting frustrated with music recently. I want it to sound really close to perfect. But why the frustration? It's supposed to be for fun, right? It still is. I'm frustrated because I think I've re-realized my dream of playing good music that people can enjoy... of being on stage and enciting a riot... er... mosh pit. I've always felt that I'm a dissappointment to everyone in my family... extended and immediate. And I want to prove that I'm not a disappointment. I dread talking to my mother, because I feel like she is always judging me. She's a Virgo... isn't she supposed to be my bitch? I always feel like I'm hers...So I went to college mostly to make my mom happy; and now that I've graduated, I'm taking some time to chase what I wanted to do -- music.
The reality of it is that chances of making enough money to live from performing music are stacked against me, so I'm not counting on being famous. But I at least want to give it my best shot before I surrender to normal life. I want to finish the demo so we can book a couple of shows, so I can see how people react; then based on that, I can get a better idea of where we stand -- what our chances are.
If I fail, I fail. I move on; get a teaching certificate, learn spanish and hopefully move out of the country to teach english somewhere (preferably Spain). But not until I am satisfied that I've given my dream my all and everything. I'm dragging my feet on employment because I want to finish the demo -- I want to dedicate all my time to it and get it as close to perfect as possible. When we're done, I'll try harder for work and continue with my life.
But it's still fun, and I love playing music. Even if i fail at a music career, I'll keep playing -- even if it is just for me.
The reality of it is that chances of making enough money to live from performing music are stacked against me, so I'm not counting on being famous. But I at least want to give it my best shot before I surrender to normal life. I want to finish the demo so we can book a couple of shows, so I can see how people react; then based on that, I can get a better idea of where we stand -- what our chances are.
If I fail, I fail. I move on; get a teaching certificate, learn spanish and hopefully move out of the country to teach english somewhere (preferably Spain). But not until I am satisfied that I've given my dream my all and everything. I'm dragging my feet on employment because I want to finish the demo -- I want to dedicate all my time to it and get it as close to perfect as possible. When we're done, I'll try harder for work and continue with my life.
But it's still fun, and I love playing music. Even if i fail at a music career, I'll keep playing -- even if it is just for me.