Rambling crazy post.
Just thinking about things tonight. I've been kind of moody lately, and kind of crazy with studying for the GRE and everything, but sometimes at night before bed, I still get what if's in my head. I just had the "it was OURS" though running through my brain. It was kind of a nice thought that it was part of each of us. Brian accepted my promise ring last night and hopefully he'll be able to keep the promises he made to me.I know I"m being paranoid, but was spotting again today and since I think I might be ovulating, my brain is jumping around going "what if it's implantation bleeding and you're going to have to go through it all again" That's a scary scary thought.We haven't even had sex, but just some external play and like I said "what if's". I"m going to start taking vitamin C just in case. I know it's really really unlikely, but still. I have my IUD consultation appointment next monday. Then my checkup Thursday and hopefully a IUD insertion the monday after that. It was nice to not be on anything, but at least this way, I"ll still be hormone free and not worrying about pregnancy all the time. I"m kind of disappointed because my weight loss has slowed down (I'm not running as much as I was before) but hopefully after I'm done with this test, I"ll be able to hit the PEIF more often and drop to the weight I want to be at. I've dropped 15 pounds or so since October 25th. I need to drop to below 120 to be in the right weight class for my judo partner. Preferably by mid december, but absolutely by mid january. Competitions start and I want to be able to BRING IT! Sorry if this is really all over the place but it's 20 after 12 and I've been studying all damned day. My brain has been to another dimension and back again. I"m also trying to find a good AIM logging program that will work with the new AIM, or someone who has an old version of it so I can use AIM plus or something. I keep having good conversations and It'd be nice to be able to go look at them when I"m feeling weird. I'm going to get out of here now and drink my nice chamomile and valerian tea.