(no subject)
Birthday was good. See long ramble cross posted from elsewhere here:
So. Yesterday was about a thousand times better than I had predicted. We woke up quite early, I called my parents, Nina phoned, I opened my family presents, (nothing special, some books and DVDs, including Monty Python films off my brother :)), and we stayed in bed all morning. Robert wrote me a lovely lovely card which made me happy, along with a voucher for Burning Monkey (the place where I'm going to get my scaffold done after exams). I met G for lunch and we had lunch and then bought a lot of sweets and sat in the Botanic Gardens for a while which was lovely. It was sunny and we just chatted for ages. I finally told her about the medication and things. She took it pretty well.
We went to this absolutely gorgeous tapas place. The place was so nice, it was underground so it was really cosy and kitsch in that Spanish way which is so lovely. I hadn't been told where we were going (R did tell G though and she took the piss like mad) so I was delighted and surprised all at once) We had a mountain of tapas which was absolutely heavenly. There was one thing with chickpeas and sweet potatoes and parsnip which was particularly amazing, and a cream cheese and basil filo parcel, and so many gorgeous things. We had five veggie and four meat dishes (I'm veggie) and I was sat literaly grinning cause I couldn't decide what to have some of next. It was all I could do to stop myself from going 'Squee' in the middle of the restaurant.
Then we went home and had cheesecake and R's parents gave me their present (they so didn't have to and I feel kind of bad but they did and it's very kind of them) which was a wok, a proper posh one like I've been wanting instead of the £5 crap thing I have at the moment. Might leave it at R's until I move though. And D and A bought me funky salt and pepper things.
Other than that, today has been pretty awful. I wore a dress yesterday and no tights, which felt very exposed.
I just feel shite still. Miserable and insecure and I so, so badly want to cut. I'm all bloated from eating so much and I can't bear it. I just can't breathe with all the shit in my head, I'm so panicky and frantic and I hate this. I don't know what I'm going to do about summer either. I need to go home for ages and I don't want to be away for so long and I can't deal with it all.
Meh. Not coping.
So. Yesterday was about a thousand times better than I had predicted. We woke up quite early, I called my parents, Nina phoned, I opened my family presents, (nothing special, some books and DVDs, including Monty Python films off my brother :)), and we stayed in bed all morning. Robert wrote me a lovely lovely card which made me happy, along with a voucher for Burning Monkey (the place where I'm going to get my scaffold done after exams). I met G for lunch and we had lunch and then bought a lot of sweets and sat in the Botanic Gardens for a while which was lovely. It was sunny and we just chatted for ages. I finally told her about the medication and things. She took it pretty well.
We went to this absolutely gorgeous tapas place. The place was so nice, it was underground so it was really cosy and kitsch in that Spanish way which is so lovely. I hadn't been told where we were going (R did tell G though and she took the piss like mad) so I was delighted and surprised all at once) We had a mountain of tapas which was absolutely heavenly. There was one thing with chickpeas and sweet potatoes and parsnip which was particularly amazing, and a cream cheese and basil filo parcel, and so many gorgeous things. We had five veggie and four meat dishes (I'm veggie) and I was sat literaly grinning cause I couldn't decide what to have some of next. It was all I could do to stop myself from going 'Squee' in the middle of the restaurant.
Then we went home and had cheesecake and R's parents gave me their present (they so didn't have to and I feel kind of bad but they did and it's very kind of them) which was a wok, a proper posh one like I've been wanting instead of the £5 crap thing I have at the moment. Might leave it at R's until I move though. And D and A bought me funky salt and pepper things.
Other than that, today has been pretty awful. I wore a dress yesterday and no tights, which felt very exposed.
I just feel shite still. Miserable and insecure and I so, so badly want to cut. I'm all bloated from eating so much and I can't bear it. I just can't breathe with all the shit in my head, I'm so panicky and frantic and I hate this. I don't know what I'm going to do about summer either. I need to go home for ages and I don't want to be away for so long and I can't deal with it all.
Meh. Not coping.