[FIC] Don’t Look Back [Epilogue]
Title: [FIC] Don't Look Back
Pairing: YunJae
Genre: angst,slight romance
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Vivid description of serious illness and character death
Summary: Yunho finds a boy wandering around the streets. When he talks, he doesn't make any sense at all. Yunho later discovers that the boy is mentally retarded. Without thinking twice, he takes the boy home and cares for him. He'll admit its a challenge, seeing as the boy breaks everything in the house, but Yunho doesn't want to give up on him. He does everything he can to make sure the kid gets better.
Years pass and their relationship begins to change, until one faithful accident will leave Yunho heartbroken.
~ Epilogue ~
Yunho's POV:
It’s been a year since JaeJoong has left. I never once stopped thinking about the accident that happened that day. It was all my fault. I was supposed to pay closer attention to him. I was supposed to tie that red balloon around his wrist so it wouldn’t fly away. I was supposed to jump out in front of that truck. I was supposed to die. I regret not doing those things now that I think about it. Everything … everything could have been prevented if only …
I can only say ‘if only’ now. I can’t go back in time and stop that accident, no matter how much it pains me. JaeJoong … I had loved him so much. Our bond we were suppose to keep forever is now broken. Our love that was formed four years ago has now vanished. Our relationship that has been planed out just recently is now dead. I’m helpless and alone now, and all I can do is say ‘if only…’
Having to meet JaeJoong was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t regret caring for him, feeding him, bathing him, changing him, loving him, smiling with him, or even crying with him. Those simple things that we did together have been precious memories inside my heart, and will stay there forever. Our memories are what are replacing the JaeJoong that was supposed to be standing right next to me today. My JaeJoong…
I visit his grave everyday and I cry over the letter stating JaeJoong can stay with me every night. I clutch the paper between these hands that weren’t able to take better care of him. These hands that needed to have done a way better job than it has already. These hands that are unfortunately attached to this bad person who needed to die instead.
I’m not doing it anymore. I’m not going to look back at what I should’ve done. I can’t, I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t bring JaeJoong back to life. I can’t keep blaming myself for what has already happened. But why is it that every time I try to bring myself to say that about me I back down? I end up blaming myself all over again. I loved him, more than anything or anyone else. That's probably the main reason why I find it so hard to move on, because I know he felt the same way too ...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
[Several months later]
“This way please, Mr. Jung.”
The woman led the way down the hall and I followed. She opened one of the doors and there was a child lying on the bed with his back propped up against the headboard. We walked further into the room and greeted each other.
“Mr. Jung, this is ChangMin, age 19, diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. He doesn’t have much longer to live so we appreciate everything you’re doing to help him.”
“W-What are you talking about?” Changmin asked.
“Changmin, this is Mr. Jung. He’s 29 years old and a full time business owner. He took care of a child who was mentally disabled and he died a little over a year ago from a car accident. His name was JaeJoong. He was also the same age as you when Mr. Jung started to take care of him.”
“R-Really? So what did you mean by you appreciate everything he’s doing to help me?” he asked a little frightened.
“He’s a little shy around strangers so it might take some getting use to for him. But once he’s been around the place for quite some time he won’t be as shy as before” the woman told me. I nodded and turned to face Changmin.
“Changmin” I called him sweetly as I held onto his hand, “don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you. My name is Jung Yunho, but you can call me Yunho. And I’m going to take care of you from now on.”
“W-What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re going to live with me and I’m going to provide a proper home for you. And I can guarantee you will live you’re last days as a happy person.”
He smiled at me and I returned it. I sat on the edge of his bed and he suddenly hugged me. Then, he started to cry, “I don’t wanna die!”
I found myself crying with him and the woman looked at the both of us and smiled. “I promise you Changmin, you’re not going to be dying alone.”
He hugged me tighter and I felt sorrier for him. I haven’t felt like this in a long time, not until I met JaeJoong that is.
I know now, no matter what sickness a child has, no matter how much it messes them up; they all react the same way. They’re afraid. It scares them to the point where they don’t want to trust or believe in people anymore. They shut themselves away from the world until they’re ready to die. Sometimes it will come naturally and sometimes it will come when you least expect it. It makes me respect these children even more.
It might be stupid what I was doing, but I had already made up my mind. I was going to adopt Changmin and take care of him, just like what I did to JaeJoong. I’m only doing this so I could forget what happened before, to forget my foolish mistake I made when it came to taking care of JaeJoong. I highly doubt my love for JaeJoong will ever reach the same height with someone else though. JaeJoong was special, he was mine.
This new road where I was headed, I knew it was a huge risk … but it’s a chance that I, Jung Yunho, am willing to take…
The End!
---
‘We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.’
A/N: Finally, I finished completing my very first fanfic!^^ I know it might seem a bit short, and maybe even lame and cheesy, but do keep in mind that I wrote this when I was younger and very new to the YunJae fandom. Nevertheless, I hope that you all enjoyed the fic just as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Thanks to everyone who has been reading it until the end and I do hope you'll continue to support my upcoming fics in the near future as well *hugs* :D
Pairing: YunJae
Genre: angst,slight romance
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Vivid description of serious illness and character death
Summary: Yunho finds a boy wandering around the streets. When he talks, he doesn't make any sense at all. Yunho later discovers that the boy is mentally retarded. Without thinking twice, he takes the boy home and cares for him. He'll admit its a challenge, seeing as the boy breaks everything in the house, but Yunho doesn't want to give up on him. He does everything he can to make sure the kid gets better.
Years pass and their relationship begins to change, until one faithful accident will leave Yunho heartbroken.
~ Epilogue ~
Yunho's POV:
It’s been a year since JaeJoong has left. I never once stopped thinking about the accident that happened that day. It was all my fault. I was supposed to pay closer attention to him. I was supposed to tie that red balloon around his wrist so it wouldn’t fly away. I was supposed to jump out in front of that truck. I was supposed to die. I regret not doing those things now that I think about it. Everything … everything could have been prevented if only …
I can only say ‘if only’ now. I can’t go back in time and stop that accident, no matter how much it pains me. JaeJoong … I had loved him so much. Our bond we were suppose to keep forever is now broken. Our love that was formed four years ago has now vanished. Our relationship that has been planed out just recently is now dead. I’m helpless and alone now, and all I can do is say ‘if only…’
Having to meet JaeJoong was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t regret caring for him, feeding him, bathing him, changing him, loving him, smiling with him, or even crying with him. Those simple things that we did together have been precious memories inside my heart, and will stay there forever. Our memories are what are replacing the JaeJoong that was supposed to be standing right next to me today. My JaeJoong…
I visit his grave everyday and I cry over the letter stating JaeJoong can stay with me every night. I clutch the paper between these hands that weren’t able to take better care of him. These hands that needed to have done a way better job than it has already. These hands that are unfortunately attached to this bad person who needed to die instead.
I’m not doing it anymore. I’m not going to look back at what I should’ve done. I can’t, I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t bring JaeJoong back to life. I can’t keep blaming myself for what has already happened. But why is it that every time I try to bring myself to say that about me I back down? I end up blaming myself all over again. I loved him, more than anything or anyone else. That's probably the main reason why I find it so hard to move on, because I know he felt the same way too ...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
[Several months later]
“This way please, Mr. Jung.”
The woman led the way down the hall and I followed. She opened one of the doors and there was a child lying on the bed with his back propped up against the headboard. We walked further into the room and greeted each other.
“Mr. Jung, this is ChangMin, age 19, diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. He doesn’t have much longer to live so we appreciate everything you’re doing to help him.”
“W-What are you talking about?” Changmin asked.
“Changmin, this is Mr. Jung. He’s 29 years old and a full time business owner. He took care of a child who was mentally disabled and he died a little over a year ago from a car accident. His name was JaeJoong. He was also the same age as you when Mr. Jung started to take care of him.”
“R-Really? So what did you mean by you appreciate everything he’s doing to help me?” he asked a little frightened.
“He’s a little shy around strangers so it might take some getting use to for him. But once he’s been around the place for quite some time he won’t be as shy as before” the woman told me. I nodded and turned to face Changmin.
“Changmin” I called him sweetly as I held onto his hand, “don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you. My name is Jung Yunho, but you can call me Yunho. And I’m going to take care of you from now on.”
“W-What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re going to live with me and I’m going to provide a proper home for you. And I can guarantee you will live you’re last days as a happy person.”
He smiled at me and I returned it. I sat on the edge of his bed and he suddenly hugged me. Then, he started to cry, “I don’t wanna die!”
I found myself crying with him and the woman looked at the both of us and smiled. “I promise you Changmin, you’re not going to be dying alone.”
He hugged me tighter and I felt sorrier for him. I haven’t felt like this in a long time, not until I met JaeJoong that is.
I know now, no matter what sickness a child has, no matter how much it messes them up; they all react the same way. They’re afraid. It scares them to the point where they don’t want to trust or believe in people anymore. They shut themselves away from the world until they’re ready to die. Sometimes it will come naturally and sometimes it will come when you least expect it. It makes me respect these children even more.
It might be stupid what I was doing, but I had already made up my mind. I was going to adopt Changmin and take care of him, just like what I did to JaeJoong. I’m only doing this so I could forget what happened before, to forget my foolish mistake I made when it came to taking care of JaeJoong. I highly doubt my love for JaeJoong will ever reach the same height with someone else though. JaeJoong was special, he was mine.
This new road where I was headed, I knew it was a huge risk … but it’s a chance that I, Jung Yunho, am willing to take…
The End!
---
‘We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.’
A/N: Finally, I finished completing my very first fanfic!^^ I know it might seem a bit short, and maybe even lame and cheesy, but do keep in mind that I wrote this when I was younger and very new to the YunJae fandom. Nevertheless, I hope that you all enjoyed the fic just as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Thanks to everyone who has been reading it until the end and I do hope you'll continue to support my upcoming fics in the near future as well *hugs* :D