DGM 193 SPOILERS
I just read the newest chapter and... Oh God, Oh God.
(This ranting will not be the smartest of them all. Seriously.)
I don't think I'm very good at analyzing things, especially if I'm still kind of upset and shocked and all, but... I just have to. 'Cause, seriously, the chapter, it was just so... so aweful and unbelievable and beautiful and heartbreaking and I can't tell just how I'm feeling right now. It was like, God, you can feel that.
And since I'm still just a mess, I'll start with the easiest thing: The Woman (and here you can insert my Yullen-side sobbing). So, if I leave my personal opinion about everything aside, she actually doesn't appear to be such a bad thing. The fact that Kanda is, in fact, in love with someone, is quite... lets say beautiful. And she seems to be rather nice character. But that goes only if I push half of my own preferences and hopes aside and think rationally. Which I'm not so fond of doing right now.
Unfortunately this chapter also kind of ruins the ongoing theory about Kanda not really caring about her so much anymore. It doesn't completely blast it, since the time line is still placed some nine years in the past and things could've changed afterwards, but to me it would seem like she still influences him. Of course, I'm hoping that's not the case (since I'm really not fond of the thought at all, Yullen or not) and he at the very least has gotten over the loving part, but. Yeah.
Though, it kind of makes me a little restless to realize, just how much Kanda's (and Alma's) state resembles what Allen is going through. Memories and all that jazz, you know? Although, with Allen it is probably slightly more dangerous. Not that it isn't dangerous with Kanda and Alma too (as we saw in the chapter), but at least they would still be human, either way. Well except for Alma, since he's an akuma. (Or that was the image I got.)
Which leads to the interesting part: Is Alma still an akuma? What with all the half-akuma projects and everything, I don't think it's too unlikely. Actually, I think it's more than likely. Needless to say that can hardly be a good thing. Especially since the Noah are trying to wake him up. And with how the things ended in the chapter, I'm not all that sure if Alma will be too happy to see Kanda. Yuu-chan pretty much killed him, after all. So, doesn't look all that good to me.
And - since the thought just kind of slipped into my mind - if Alma is still an akuma (as it would seem), can Allen see his soul? Now, there you have something to ponder on. Just think about the reactions. That's like worth more than one fic. XD But then we have an obstacle. If Alma is indeed an akuma, why didn't Allen's eye react in the earlier chapters? He did see him. It could be because Alma was in that sleep state of his, but... It could also mean he isn't an akuma anymore, and Kanda managed to purify him at the same time he killed him. Or someone else did it later. Or then there's the possibility that Alma too, is an half akuma or something of the sort that doesn't make Allen react the same way as he does with real ones. So...
But anyway, the chapter. The ending. Oh God, the ending. I loved it and hated it at the same time and, goddamn, I cried. It was just so sad and beautiful and everything. The interaction, the friendship, the emotions, the... everything. Really, please, Kanda is so, so, so beautiful as a child and not just the way Hoshino draws him. And Alma's face when Kanda slashed him... God, his face. It was pure betrayal.
And Marie. Can you believe it, he knew all this time. He knew. That makes his words weight like so much more than before, and I never took them lightly anyway. It just, can it be more epic? Can it? Just... honestly.
Seriously, if Allen and Kanda both make it out sane and alive (and I won't goddamn take it if they don't), this will make their relationship oh sooo complicated. And awkward. But I can't help the iching feeling that this isn't going to end well on Kanda's part. I so hope I'm wrong, 'cause if Kanda dies... Lets just say my obsession with DGM is simply unheatlhy. Possibly to a fatal extent.