(no subject)
Ok, so the last post was serious, give me a break, it had to be said and Ill say it again if'n I feel so inclined. I know what your thinking "But, John, oh majestic one, you promised to never be serious with your livejournal!" Well Im John and your someone who's reading this, so I get to do whatever I want, I meant everything I said and I stand by it, besides every superhero needs his weakness right?
And Speaking of superhero...dom...I have decided to outline my one and only Power to all you non-supers out there.
Telekinesis (Herein referred to as TK)...
Now now, again, I know what your thinking "but John, oh wise and benevolent ruler, you can only lift stuff with TK LOLZ!"
Oh how wrong you are you great big bag of stupid, let me break it down for you. Now besides the obvious applications of moving things with my mind (like getting me a drink while Im still typing, or just flipin cars over on the highway) there are millions of things you can do with the proper training...
~ Fly ~ thats right, If Im able to flip cars at will, then theres no reason I cant lift and propel myself through the air, hence flying
~ Lose weight ~ ok this one needs some explaining, you see with TK (and limited knowledge of anatomy) I can actually trigger the chemicals that makes your sweat glans secrete, hence losing weight while Im not doing a damn thing. Sweet huh?
~ Super Strength ~ I dont mean, lifting something with my mind while PRETENDING to lift it, no that would be cheating, you see, with TK I can also trigger my body to start "rebuilding" the muscles in my body, even if there not broken down, and probably speed up the process a whole lot, resulting in never being sore, so I would be a lean mean mind raping machine... and speaking of mind raping...
~ Mind Control ~ Now this is a stretch, but its still true, with TK and know how about the grey matter, I can actually control synapses in the brain, resulting in lose of memory, emotional manipulation (Scarecrow anyone) and quite possibly creating memories (although that would require lots of knowledge about the head noddle)
~ Invisibility/Force Fields ~ Yes, even THIS power would be at my will, for when I become a master at my own power, I will be able to bend light itself, resulting in Invisibility and force fields (watch Fantastic Four numb nuts...or better yet read it)
~ Control of the elements ~ And by elements I mean them all, I could speed up or slow down molecules in air/water to make it hot or cold at will, I would be able to bend fire to my will, creating whatever fire monsters I can think of, I could create and destroy fire with knowledge of convection currents, even control the weather itself, through manipulation of wind speed, direction, and temperature
~ Plantary Destruction ~ Lets say one day we all get attacked by giant aliens bent on making us thier bitches, and no matter how many of them I kill, they just keep transporting more, well with my well developed TK, I could just simply pull thier OWN FREAKING PLANET out of orbit, probably closer to thier verison of the sun, safely and very effectively destroying thier entire civilization, While I stand there, Triumphant, with fists on my hips, yelling my motto "I Win, You lose, That How we play the game!"
Oh. My. God. I would be an awesome super hero, I would have the coolest partner ever too, Paul. Whats his super power, I dont know read his journal nitwit. All I know is me and him would own. And by Own, I mean we both rule side by side, me being the ironfisted feared hard-ass, him being the kind, benevolent, loved by all ruler. See? best of both worlds.
And don't bother trying to bank on all my ideas, I already sold the movies rights.
And Speaking of superhero...dom...I have decided to outline my one and only Power to all you non-supers out there.
Telekinesis (Herein referred to as TK)...
Now now, again, I know what your thinking "but John, oh wise and benevolent ruler, you can only lift stuff with TK LOLZ!"
Oh how wrong you are you great big bag of stupid, let me break it down for you. Now besides the obvious applications of moving things with my mind (like getting me a drink while Im still typing, or just flipin cars over on the highway) there are millions of things you can do with the proper training...
~ Fly ~ thats right, If Im able to flip cars at will, then theres no reason I cant lift and propel myself through the air, hence flying
~ Lose weight ~ ok this one needs some explaining, you see with TK (and limited knowledge of anatomy) I can actually trigger the chemicals that makes your sweat glans secrete, hence losing weight while Im not doing a damn thing. Sweet huh?
~ Super Strength ~ I dont mean, lifting something with my mind while PRETENDING to lift it, no that would be cheating, you see, with TK I can also trigger my body to start "rebuilding" the muscles in my body, even if there not broken down, and probably speed up the process a whole lot, resulting in never being sore, so I would be a lean mean mind raping machine... and speaking of mind raping...
~ Mind Control ~ Now this is a stretch, but its still true, with TK and know how about the grey matter, I can actually control synapses in the brain, resulting in lose of memory, emotional manipulation (Scarecrow anyone) and quite possibly creating memories (although that would require lots of knowledge about the head noddle)
~ Invisibility/Force Fields ~ Yes, even THIS power would be at my will, for when I become a master at my own power, I will be able to bend light itself, resulting in Invisibility and force fields (watch Fantastic Four numb nuts...or better yet read it)
~ Control of the elements ~ And by elements I mean them all, I could speed up or slow down molecules in air/water to make it hot or cold at will, I would be able to bend fire to my will, creating whatever fire monsters I can think of, I could create and destroy fire with knowledge of convection currents, even control the weather itself, through manipulation of wind speed, direction, and temperature
~ Plantary Destruction ~ Lets say one day we all get attacked by giant aliens bent on making us thier bitches, and no matter how many of them I kill, they just keep transporting more, well with my well developed TK, I could just simply pull thier OWN FREAKING PLANET out of orbit, probably closer to thier verison of the sun, safely and very effectively destroying thier entire civilization, While I stand there, Triumphant, with fists on my hips, yelling my motto "I Win, You lose, That How we play the game!"
Oh. My. God. I would be an awesome super hero, I would have the coolest partner ever too, Paul. Whats his super power, I dont know read his journal nitwit. All I know is me and him would own. And by Own, I mean we both rule side by side, me being the ironfisted feared hard-ass, him being the kind, benevolent, loved by all ruler. See? best of both worlds.
And don't bother trying to bank on all my ideas, I already sold the movies rights.