A year ago, I was in the throes of a depression so deep there were days when all I could accomplish was going from the bed to the couch. There were other days of horrible sobbing which wracked my body and left me even more exhausted than I already was upon waking. There were days when I couldn't keep my body from shaking with anxiety. There were ( Read more... )

“You lead a much more interesting life than I do,” said Monica ( Read more... )

Yesterday as I was settling into my desk at work, waiting for my first cup of coffee to finish brewing and scrolling through my Twitter feed, a call notification thrust its way onto the screen. The name of the caller shocked me a bit - it was my mother, who I have not really spoken to in about seven years, and who has not called me in all that time ( Read more... )

Seventy miles from my house, Eagle Creek is ablaze. At last report, the flames covered 33,000 acres of land, and were zero percent contained. The fire has been raging for five days, likely set on Saturday night and in full force by Sunday morning. Yesterday the smell of burning wood was in the air; the smoke burned my nostrils a bit as I ( Read more... )

When I was a kid, I would pretend that I could fly. Not flapping-your-arms flight like a bird. Superman-style flight, no feathers required, just an effortless ability to soar through the sky as high or as low as I pleased, as fast or as slow as I needed. I would picture myself floating above the tallest trees, looking down at the green and brown ( Read more... )

The organization I currently work for is a community nonprofit which works to "eliminate conditions of poverty," as the mission statement puts it. The programs we offer require a workforce built primarily of client-facing staff such as case managers and advocates. Our clientele are those living in poverty, which are disproportionately represented ( Read more... )

In the days and weeks following my suicide attempt, my level of depression ebbed and flowed, but never completely abated. For a while there weren't really good days, just bad days and worse days. I had been hospitalized four weeks from my college graduation date. I still had classes and tests, but I had nothing left in me to dedicate to any of ( Read more... )

Tonight I am spending an hour or two using a lacrosse ball to target and destroy the various stress knots that I develop in literally every part of my body. The lacrosse ball acts as an unyielding source of pressure, activated with the basic application of body weight. I lie on my back and place the ball where my body tells me it's needed, and try ( Read more... )

I had not had to visit a hospital since my suicide attempt until I brought Brandon into the ER three days ago. I never let myself get too close to suicide again, and thankfully there were no random accidents. The only two times I had been hospitalized resulted from decisions I had made, and gaining more rational control over my decision-making ( Read more... )

The second time I was hospitalized it was for my suicide attempt at age 21 ( Read more... )