A year ago, I was in the throes of a depression so deep there were days when all I could accomplish was going from the bed to the couch. There were other days of horrible sobbing which wracked my body and left me even more exhausted than I already was upon waking. There were days when I couldn't keep my body from shaking with anxiety. There were ( Read more... )

I attended KinkFest this weekend, and such a variety of interesting and noteworthy moments happened that I've decided to write a series of posts on it. This first post will be a bit of an outpouring, because in the afterglow of the experience I can't even remember some of the finer details. I'll save those for later. For now, my heart and my ( Read more... )

This week has been, on balance of emotions, a pretty rough one for me; rougher than I have had in a long while, certainly multiple years. The reason for the roughness is that I have suffered two significant-feeling rejections in quick succession (the first was five days ago, the second was last night/this morning). I won't be getting into the ( Read more... )

I have a tendency to become very emotionally invested in the fates of fictional characters. Today as Brandon and I were watching TV on the couch together, a character in the show we'd been watching unexpectedly met a violent end at the hands of his mortal enemy, and I was incensed. I let loose a string of profanity and wild gestures to express my ( Read more... )

For the past few days, I have been dedicating some time every day to working on a more extended, purposeful writing piece. Doing so causes me to fall into long periods of silence in which I frown at my laptop, type a while, then frown more. Brandon, who met me when I had already gone into writing hibernation, has never experienced this particular ( Read more... )

I had not had to visit a hospital since my suicide attempt until I brought Brandon into the ER three days ago. I never let myself get too close to suicide again, and thankfully there were no random accidents. The only two times I had been hospitalized resulted from decisions I had made, and gaining more rational control over my decision-making ( Read more... )

I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight without purging in some way, and everyone I would want to talk to is currently asleep (as I should be). I'll have to write. Apologies in advance for any lack of sense or quality in this post ( Read more... )