Add parents to it, and...
Okay, I am going to fucking punch something or someone.
I call my insurance claims adjuster this morning to see if there's any possibility of getting a better price on my car, which I was told there was by several people. He says no, and gives me several reasons why not. Like a fucking weakling I break down crying because I know that if I just take what he gives me, it's not enough to get that decent of a used car, definitely not a new car. He tells me he's sorry, there's nothing he can do, so I thank him for his time and hang up.
I call my mom because I am upset, and it has been a huge deal between us that she feels like I don't open up to her and she hates that I can't go to her when I feel upset. So I call her and tell her why I'm upset. She goes ballistic and calls my insurance claims adjuster and gets all the information that I did. She then proceeds to call me back and explain to me like I'm a fucking five-year-old all the things he already told me and why I shouldn't be upset in the most condescending voice she could fucking muster. So naturally, I get more upset, because I didn't appreciate how she was talking to me and how she was minimizing my NATRUAL RIGHT to feel pissed off about this situation.
Am I seriously not allowed to be fucking upset by this situation? According to her, I'm not. I have spent the entire LAST FUCKING WEEK holding it together, mostly for her fucking sake, because I know how much she hates it when I show any sort of negative fucking emotion. And I don't really want to show her any negative fucking emotion because every time I do she gets worried I'm going to try to kill myself as a fucking solution, like that's my quick fix for everything. So apparently, my holding it together and being calm for her for the entire last week didn't mean a fucking thing, because the instant I actually do let myself get upset she freaks out and tells me how annoying and inappropriate I'm being. No fucking offense to her, but I'm pretty fucking sure when someone steals your car, crashes it, and the insurance company you've paid thousands of dollars in premiums to is low-balling you on the amount they'll give you... yeah, you have a fucking right to be pissed the fuck off and upset.
So now apparently I'm supposed to give her a disclaimer every time I want to tell her about something that's upsetting me otherwise she'll get all up in arms about it and tell me how I should have a better attitude. Oh, how she wishes I was like her perfect well-adjusted Monica, who tells her every time she's upset "don't worry Mom, I'm just venting," so she knows she can just ignore whatever she says. Instead I'm the problem fucking child, that she's never understood, and so now every time I involve her in my life in any way she ends up pissing me off and saying the wrong thing, and she ends up hurt and wondering why I don't fucking include her in my life more.
I get that they're just trying to fucking help, but at this point I kind of want to tell them that I'll take care of it on my fucking own, because clearly they're having problems dealing with me. It's my fucking problem anyway.
And to top it all off, some of the damage on my car which was not pre-existing my Dad told the insurance claims adjuster WERE pre-existing, so that deducted the cost of my vehicle even more. And I'm trying really hard not to be fucking mad at him, but it certainly isn't helping matters.
They can all just fuck off.
I call my insurance claims adjuster this morning to see if there's any possibility of getting a better price on my car, which I was told there was by several people. He says no, and gives me several reasons why not. Like a fucking weakling I break down crying because I know that if I just take what he gives me, it's not enough to get that decent of a used car, definitely not a new car. He tells me he's sorry, there's nothing he can do, so I thank him for his time and hang up.
I call my mom because I am upset, and it has been a huge deal between us that she feels like I don't open up to her and she hates that I can't go to her when I feel upset. So I call her and tell her why I'm upset. She goes ballistic and calls my insurance claims adjuster and gets all the information that I did. She then proceeds to call me back and explain to me like I'm a fucking five-year-old all the things he already told me and why I shouldn't be upset in the most condescending voice she could fucking muster. So naturally, I get more upset, because I didn't appreciate how she was talking to me and how she was minimizing my NATRUAL RIGHT to feel pissed off about this situation.
Am I seriously not allowed to be fucking upset by this situation? According to her, I'm not. I have spent the entire LAST FUCKING WEEK holding it together, mostly for her fucking sake, because I know how much she hates it when I show any sort of negative fucking emotion. And I don't really want to show her any negative fucking emotion because every time I do she gets worried I'm going to try to kill myself as a fucking solution, like that's my quick fix for everything. So apparently, my holding it together and being calm for her for the entire last week didn't mean a fucking thing, because the instant I actually do let myself get upset she freaks out and tells me how annoying and inappropriate I'm being. No fucking offense to her, but I'm pretty fucking sure when someone steals your car, crashes it, and the insurance company you've paid thousands of dollars in premiums to is low-balling you on the amount they'll give you... yeah, you have a fucking right to be pissed the fuck off and upset.
So now apparently I'm supposed to give her a disclaimer every time I want to tell her about something that's upsetting me otherwise she'll get all up in arms about it and tell me how I should have a better attitude. Oh, how she wishes I was like her perfect well-adjusted Monica, who tells her every time she's upset "don't worry Mom, I'm just venting," so she knows she can just ignore whatever she says. Instead I'm the problem fucking child, that she's never understood, and so now every time I involve her in my life in any way she ends up pissing me off and saying the wrong thing, and she ends up hurt and wondering why I don't fucking include her in my life more.
I get that they're just trying to fucking help, but at this point I kind of want to tell them that I'll take care of it on my fucking own, because clearly they're having problems dealing with me. It's my fucking problem anyway.
And to top it all off, some of the damage on my car which was not pre-existing my Dad told the insurance claims adjuster WERE pre-existing, so that deducted the cost of my vehicle even more. And I'm trying really hard not to be fucking mad at him, but it certainly isn't helping matters.
They can all just fuck off.