Fucked.
Yesterday was my birthday. I had a shitty day, but a nice dinner with my parents. We ordered a bottle of wine, which made the event go very smoothly. Good wine, too.
I made the mistake of sending a Happy Birthday email to Starbuck on Monday, his birthday. He didn't return the favor for mine. I sincerely hope this is the last time I set myself up for disappointment regarding him. I don't get how some people can be so cold and dead inside, but I guess if you are someone like that you don't see any problem with it.
I was extraordinarily sad about the fact that I have so few people in my life to wish me a Happy Birthday, and that I spent the day with coworkers and parents instead of friends and lovers. I almost shed a few tears about it. It felt very lonely, and very sad.
My car was found, but it was found crashed. The insurance company totaled it. They are not giving me enough money to fix it or buy a new one. Either way I will end up spending a lot of money just to get my car back to the way it was before it was taken from me for no apparent reason. I greatly dislike having choices, power, and control taken away from me, particularly when I have done nothing to deserve it.
I wish I could say that I was in a happier place right now, but honestly, all I feel is anger and sadness. Part of me wants to punch someone, the rest of me just wants to cry and tell the world to go fuck itself.
And now I'm at work. The hits just keep on coming.
I am looking forward to going to Seattle, at least. Maybe I'll be able to leave all this shit behind when I go.
I made the mistake of sending a Happy Birthday email to Starbuck on Monday, his birthday. He didn't return the favor for mine. I sincerely hope this is the last time I set myself up for disappointment regarding him. I don't get how some people can be so cold and dead inside, but I guess if you are someone like that you don't see any problem with it.
I was extraordinarily sad about the fact that I have so few people in my life to wish me a Happy Birthday, and that I spent the day with coworkers and parents instead of friends and lovers. I almost shed a few tears about it. It felt very lonely, and very sad.
My car was found, but it was found crashed. The insurance company totaled it. They are not giving me enough money to fix it or buy a new one. Either way I will end up spending a lot of money just to get my car back to the way it was before it was taken from me for no apparent reason. I greatly dislike having choices, power, and control taken away from me, particularly when I have done nothing to deserve it.
I wish I could say that I was in a happier place right now, but honestly, all I feel is anger and sadness. Part of me wants to punch someone, the rest of me just wants to cry and tell the world to go fuck itself.
And now I'm at work. The hits just keep on coming.
I am looking forward to going to Seattle, at least. Maybe I'll be able to leave all this shit behind when I go.