That was then, this is now
So I grew up in the South East of England with my Mum, Dad and older Sister and we were happy. We lived sensibly - by that I mean we weren't spoiled, but he had everything we needed. I went to little and middle school near our home and upper school about half an hour's car ride away. I hated upper school. I was picked on for most of it (but who isn't) and I didn't really decide to ignore it until about year 11. Of course this was the point where I went into a deep depression. I didn't realise that I was depressed until I came out of it, and that happened pretty much as soon as I left school - I mean the day I left school. I didn't even realise that I'd been unhappy until it was pointed out to me by someone I went to school with that they'd "never seen me happy until today". A kick in the head, it was! But the good kind.
I never was happy with myself or my appearance, but at this point, I quickly realised that it was a waste of time to dwell over unhappiness, and move forward. Think of the future. I got a job, made new friends, kept in touch with the old ones. Some of the old ones drifted away, much to my sadness. People move on though.
My job was in a fashion store, and it worked me hard, but as a result I was able to play hard and made some great friends that way. I went to gigs and festivals, and it was at Glastonbury I met my husband. We started seeing each other about a month after the festival and saw each other every day. We went out for 3 years before we got engaged. Our wedding was outside at a small manor house under a tree, in late summer. I wore flip flops.
By this time we were both working for a bank in their sales department. We made some fabulous life-long friends through that place. We were living with his parents and saving for the future. We decided not long after that we needed our own place and moved into a flat, where we currently reside. Gary, my husband, wasn't doing very well, health wise. We had a lot of visits to the doctors and hospital and eventually he had his diagnosis of Crohn's. He was elated to have a diagnosis eventually. I seemed to take it worse, and over time got lower and lower, until eventually I was diagnosed with depression and then finally, GAD (general anxiety disorder).
And now we're at today. I have left my job and am on anti-anxiety meds. I'm happy, but bored silly, and looking for a new job. So I have time on my hands. I've blogged before, and in many different places. I thought I'd try it again. My life now consists of dealing with my emotions and mental state, photography, my husband and job hunting. Trying to disperse the guilt. I hope you enjoy reading this. It's going to be my therepy.
I never was happy with myself or my appearance, but at this point, I quickly realised that it was a waste of time to dwell over unhappiness, and move forward. Think of the future. I got a job, made new friends, kept in touch with the old ones. Some of the old ones drifted away, much to my sadness. People move on though.
My job was in a fashion store, and it worked me hard, but as a result I was able to play hard and made some great friends that way. I went to gigs and festivals, and it was at Glastonbury I met my husband. We started seeing each other about a month after the festival and saw each other every day. We went out for 3 years before we got engaged. Our wedding was outside at a small manor house under a tree, in late summer. I wore flip flops.
By this time we were both working for a bank in their sales department. We made some fabulous life-long friends through that place. We were living with his parents and saving for the future. We decided not long after that we needed our own place and moved into a flat, where we currently reside. Gary, my husband, wasn't doing very well, health wise. We had a lot of visits to the doctors and hospital and eventually he had his diagnosis of Crohn's. He was elated to have a diagnosis eventually. I seemed to take it worse, and over time got lower and lower, until eventually I was diagnosed with depression and then finally, GAD (general anxiety disorder).
And now we're at today. I have left my job and am on anti-anxiety meds. I'm happy, but bored silly, and looking for a new job. So I have time on my hands. I've blogged before, and in many different places. I thought I'd try it again. My life now consists of dealing with my emotions and mental state, photography, my husband and job hunting. Trying to disperse the guilt. I hope you enjoy reading this. It's going to be my therepy.