cheer up buttercup
okay, no more doom and gloom for me. (with any luck, this'll last for at least a little bit.) it's not even that this experience - all of it, coming here, starting over, living with a shitty roommate, going to school again to actually learn for the first time in six years -- has been bad. it's been a positive experience overall. i'm pretty happy most days, but those aren't the days i spend behind my laptop.
it's my first brush with autumn, and it's so pretty here; it's a little ridiculous. i get to watch actual leafblowers blowing leaves as i walk to school in the morning, and it's always hysterical. also annoying, because it's so loud and sometimes all you want is the peace and quiet and red golden leaves crunching under your feet, but they're so much fun to watch that i can mostly forgive them.
the campus is just as beautiful, and i'm learning so much here, more than i've ever learnt anywhere outside of poly. the whole approach is so different here, and as stupid as i think aspects of it are, as grateful as i'm becoming for the way the education system works in singapore, it's been an eye-opener. the guidance we get, the support, the open lines of communication (seriously, we had a talk with our dean today, just fifty of us and him in a tiny conference room, and it was such a waste of time but such an educational experience into the mindset of my coursemates all in one) -- it's awesome.
i've already seen a helicopter land in school, been within a couple hundred feet (i'm assuming) of the president, kicked ass at a bunch of exams (and kicked much less ass on another bunch of them, but c'est la vie) and have been giving regular therapy to an actual human being like i am in any way qualified. i got lovely feedback from my supervisor today, though, so i'm cautiously optimistic that i'm on the right track. and i have a couple of ideas for new ways to get therapy moving a lot quicker the next time i see my client, which is great.
and i'm finally around a bunch of people - lovely people that i will never, ever click with the way i do with my friends - who understand what it's like. who feel the way i do about speech, and kids, and being able to do something. one of our professors told us a story about her client who'd never spoken a word to his teacher the whole school year, and there was a musical number they were all supposed to perform, but the music teacher wanted to exclude him from it "since he doesn't talk anyway," and there was arguing and friction, but eventually the music teacher gave in, and, at the end of the performance, after an entire year of silence, the client walked past his teacher as he was getting off the stage, smiled at her, and said, "that was fun."
where else in the world would forty people be getting teary-eyed over a story like that? where else would anyone understand that? and it's so nice, it's so nice, to be around people who really, actually care. who aren't there because they don't know what else to do, or are looking for a steady income, or just think of it as doing a job. that's not the kind of culture you get back home, and i'm so grateful to have been able to soak it all in like this. it's been amazing.
and that's not even taking into account all the other fantastic things i've gotten to do since i've been here. decorate my own room. (which i love, thank you very much.) seen my first baseball game (with the ever-amazing kimmay7 and alaszyel). enjoyed my first baseball game. watched jrenner kick ass with his acting chops in kill the messenger and giggled at inopportune moments with kimmay7. eaten at wow bao and molly's cupcakes (WHICH IS SO GOOD OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I DIED), tried vegetarian seitan steak, and seen the lincoln zoo, the nature conservatory, AND a backstreet boy parody of nightmare on elm street, all courtesy of the endlessly delightful samibee. AND THIS WEEKEND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE SEEING JENSEN AND JARED. IN THE FLESH. ONLY SEVEN YEARS AFTER I STARTED WATCHING THEM ON THE BIG LAPTOP SCREEN. and also going for an autumn-themed dessert crawl (as opposed to a pub crawl because this is clearly a million times better) because my sister is in town and that's just how we do.
so--
i can't tell if i'd make the same choices again - if i'd volunteer to end up here again - given the chance to do it over. but i'm not unhappy (except when i am, and stressed and sleep-deprived and pms-ing) and i've loved every minute i've spent in chicago so far, so check back with me in two years; i might have a different answer then.
it's my first brush with autumn, and it's so pretty here; it's a little ridiculous. i get to watch actual leafblowers blowing leaves as i walk to school in the morning, and it's always hysterical. also annoying, because it's so loud and sometimes all you want is the peace and quiet and red golden leaves crunching under your feet, but they're so much fun to watch that i can mostly forgive them.
the campus is just as beautiful, and i'm learning so much here, more than i've ever learnt anywhere outside of poly. the whole approach is so different here, and as stupid as i think aspects of it are, as grateful as i'm becoming for the way the education system works in singapore, it's been an eye-opener. the guidance we get, the support, the open lines of communication (seriously, we had a talk with our dean today, just fifty of us and him in a tiny conference room, and it was such a waste of time but such an educational experience into the mindset of my coursemates all in one) -- it's awesome.
i've already seen a helicopter land in school, been within a couple hundred feet (i'm assuming) of the president, kicked ass at a bunch of exams (and kicked much less ass on another bunch of them, but c'est la vie) and have been giving regular therapy to an actual human being like i am in any way qualified. i got lovely feedback from my supervisor today, though, so i'm cautiously optimistic that i'm on the right track. and i have a couple of ideas for new ways to get therapy moving a lot quicker the next time i see my client, which is great.
and i'm finally around a bunch of people - lovely people that i will never, ever click with the way i do with my friends - who understand what it's like. who feel the way i do about speech, and kids, and being able to do something. one of our professors told us a story about her client who'd never spoken a word to his teacher the whole school year, and there was a musical number they were all supposed to perform, but the music teacher wanted to exclude him from it "since he doesn't talk anyway," and there was arguing and friction, but eventually the music teacher gave in, and, at the end of the performance, after an entire year of silence, the client walked past his teacher as he was getting off the stage, smiled at her, and said, "that was fun."
where else in the world would forty people be getting teary-eyed over a story like that? where else would anyone understand that? and it's so nice, it's so nice, to be around people who really, actually care. who aren't there because they don't know what else to do, or are looking for a steady income, or just think of it as doing a job. that's not the kind of culture you get back home, and i'm so grateful to have been able to soak it all in like this. it's been amazing.
and that's not even taking into account all the other fantastic things i've gotten to do since i've been here. decorate my own room. (which i love, thank you very much.) seen my first baseball game (with the ever-amazing kimmay7 and alaszyel). enjoyed my first baseball game. watched jrenner kick ass with his acting chops in kill the messenger and giggled at inopportune moments with kimmay7. eaten at wow bao and molly's cupcakes (WHICH IS SO GOOD OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I DIED), tried vegetarian seitan steak, and seen the lincoln zoo, the nature conservatory, AND a backstreet boy parody of nightmare on elm street, all courtesy of the endlessly delightful samibee. AND THIS WEEKEND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE SEEING JENSEN AND JARED. IN THE FLESH. ONLY SEVEN YEARS AFTER I STARTED WATCHING THEM ON THE BIG LAPTOP SCREEN. and also going for an autumn-themed dessert crawl (as opposed to a pub crawl because this is clearly a million times better) because my sister is in town and that's just how we do.
so--
i can't tell if i'd make the same choices again - if i'd volunteer to end up here again - given the chance to do it over. but i'm not unhappy (except when i am, and stressed and sleep-deprived and pms-ing) and i've loved every minute i've spent in chicago so far, so check back with me in two years; i might have a different answer then.