Death Eater Takes a Holiday by Lee Lee Potter
Yes, I know, I'm supposed to be writing, not reading. But the Small Fandom Big Bang website just went live and there's already two stories posted and I'm just too excited to be creative. Thus, this...
Death Eater Takes a Holiday
Everyone and their grandmother has recced this story, to me and to the rest of the world. I've been hearing about it for months and have been eagerly awaiting it to be finished so I could finally see what everyone's been talking about. Heck, I even got a very nice person to send me the story in big files once I realized I couldn't download the fic in a single file at HP Fandom and I promptly gave up my 'no reading in July' rule so I could start the fic right away. So maybe my reaction to DETaH is my own fault -- I just got my hopes up too high.
By the end of the first few paragraphs, I kind of knew how this was going to turn out. Two-thirds of the sentences in the two chapters I read before giving up were either fragments or run-ons, none of the contractions actually had apostrophes, and the author apparently decided to avoid the common mistake of overusing commas by not using any commas at all. There's also a premise that really makes no sense whatsoever -- just after a major attack by Voldemort, Dumbledore decides that the entire staff should spend a week as teenagers because they need a break from stress. (Because as we all know, teenagers are the least stressed people on earth.) Plus, all of the teachers will have their memory erased and yet the plot requires that they remember that they are adults and that they need to change back in times of trouble (which basically boils down to the whole memory thing being a plot hole you could drive Hogwarts through). On top of all of that, the story's POV changes from line to line with no discernable reason for it to do so, the dialogue is clunky and kind of random, and Harry and Snape are getting ready to have sex with each other *literally* within an hour of meeting, and without exchanging more than ten words. Arg!
I assume that the story gets much better as it goes on, but at a certain point I just got too frustrated with the grammar issues and the writing (plus, you know, the premise) to go on.
Death Eater Takes a Holiday
Everyone and their grandmother has recced this story, to me and to the rest of the world. I've been hearing about it for months and have been eagerly awaiting it to be finished so I could finally see what everyone's been talking about. Heck, I even got a very nice person to send me the story in big files once I realized I couldn't download the fic in a single file at HP Fandom and I promptly gave up my 'no reading in July' rule so I could start the fic right away. So maybe my reaction to DETaH is my own fault -- I just got my hopes up too high.
By the end of the first few paragraphs, I kind of knew how this was going to turn out. Two-thirds of the sentences in the two chapters I read before giving up were either fragments or run-ons, none of the contractions actually had apostrophes, and the author apparently decided to avoid the common mistake of overusing commas by not using any commas at all. There's also a premise that really makes no sense whatsoever -- just after a major attack by Voldemort, Dumbledore decides that the entire staff should spend a week as teenagers because they need a break from stress. (Because as we all know, teenagers are the least stressed people on earth.) Plus, all of the teachers will have their memory erased and yet the plot requires that they remember that they are adults and that they need to change back in times of trouble (which basically boils down to the whole memory thing being a plot hole you could drive Hogwarts through). On top of all of that, the story's POV changes from line to line with no discernable reason for it to do so, the dialogue is clunky and kind of random, and Harry and Snape are getting ready to have sex with each other *literally* within an hour of meeting, and without exchanging more than ten words. Arg!
I assume that the story gets much better as it goes on, but at a certain point I just got too frustrated with the grammar issues and the writing (plus, you know, the premise) to go on.