Hi I I
I lost my patience w lena today. I yelled at her so badly at naptime. That when I walked out of her room, I started crying.
Now I'm just nauseous.
Sympathetic voices make me angry.
Certain people make me angry.
I don't want to talk about it because I don't want said sympathy.
I keep talking to Him and falling flat. I can only just barely devise that it's all my lack of patience.
If I am forgiven then I become a conduit of forgiveness through Him, and his atoning death on the cross. I am not my own but a creation at which two laws are at work, His and that of the flesh. To be filled with His Spirit, is to be filled with His Glory, the Glory who's traces are found strung throughout His entire creation. I am humbled this realization because I do not deserve to be saved, though I am through sheer grace and not because of any good that I have done . His promise has become Hope. A hope of something far greater than my feeble mind could ever imagine. A Hope that pales all worldly desires of the flesh. My life now is not my own. But a life to be lived in gratitude and bearing the fruits for His Glory.
Lord help me to understand this better, more clearly. Help me to let go of past anger and malicious thoughts towards those who have injured me in their ignorance. I pray that these people too will be lifted up towards You and to know You.
Help me to regain my patience through You, whose patience, compassion and mercy is staggering in its greatness.
Help me to dissolve my pride that brings me back to a place where I turn from you. For You have shown us pure humility.
Because You Lord are the only one who knows me, knows of all of me and saves me from an eternity away from you, our loving and just Father, through the blood of your only perfect son. Without who I would not be allowed such intimacy with you, my Creator.
Guide and strengthen my hand through your all encompassing wisdom.
I pray all this in Jesus' name.
Amen.
Now I'm just nauseous.
Sympathetic voices make me angry.
Certain people make me angry.
I don't want to talk about it because I don't want said sympathy.
I keep talking to Him and falling flat. I can only just barely devise that it's all my lack of patience.
If I am forgiven then I become a conduit of forgiveness through Him, and his atoning death on the cross. I am not my own but a creation at which two laws are at work, His and that of the flesh. To be filled with His Spirit, is to be filled with His Glory, the Glory who's traces are found strung throughout His entire creation. I am humbled this realization because I do not deserve to be saved, though I am through sheer grace and not because of any good that I have done . His promise has become Hope. A hope of something far greater than my feeble mind could ever imagine. A Hope that pales all worldly desires of the flesh. My life now is not my own. But a life to be lived in gratitude and bearing the fruits for His Glory.
Lord help me to understand this better, more clearly. Help me to let go of past anger and malicious thoughts towards those who have injured me in their ignorance. I pray that these people too will be lifted up towards You and to know You.
Help me to regain my patience through You, whose patience, compassion and mercy is staggering in its greatness.
Help me to dissolve my pride that brings me back to a place where I turn from you. For You have shown us pure humility.
Because You Lord are the only one who knows me, knows of all of me and saves me from an eternity away from you, our loving and just Father, through the blood of your only perfect son. Without who I would not be allowed such intimacy with you, my Creator.
Guide and strengthen my hand through your all encompassing wisdom.
I pray all this in Jesus' name.
Amen.