It's 5:15am
And I'm still awake. I cannot get my brain to shut down, no matter what I do. I lay in the dark, with only my sound soother - set to ocean waves - and night light on, with no success. I tried taking another 2.5mg of vicodin to help. No luck. I just can't sleep.
I've made myself a drink - bourbon and sprite, aka a highball - to maybe work. I know I've taken a lot of CNS depressants tonight, but I NEED to get some sleep dammit.
At least I was able to download #4 in the Song of Fire and Ice series, A Feast for Crows, so I have something to read. I learned the other day that some libraries are starting to loan out e-books. I need to head over to my local library, which happens to be at the local community college where I hope to take classes one day, and see if I can hook me up with some loaner books, instead of paying for them. That'd be AWESOME.
My nose still hurts like a bitch. My septum is sore like you get with any bone that's healing. You know, that deep dull ache. I've taken to wearing strips of lidocane patches across my nose like a Biore strip. It helps only a little, but it's better than nothing. The right side where they removed the turbinate stings on occasion, and is still triggering headaches. I need to have "it's only been a month, chill out" posted about my house so I won't worry or get discouraged. There's a very pessimistic, overly dramatic, super-catastrophizer side of me that keeps saying that I have some rare condition that no one is ever going to figure out and I'll live in pain for the rest of my life. Because God knows, the care I get through the county won't ever come up with the solution. Hell, this surgery was a shot in the dark.
I really hope I can sleep. The more I'm awake during the night, the more anxious I get, and then the more binge-y I end up. Must not eat everything in the house. Though Sis made a pasta salad with farfalle, bacon, feta, parmesan, mushrooms, tomatoes, and spinach, that was really good.
OMG SHUT DOWN BRAIN JEEZ.
I've made myself a drink - bourbon and sprite, aka a highball - to maybe work. I know I've taken a lot of CNS depressants tonight, but I NEED to get some sleep dammit.
At least I was able to download #4 in the Song of Fire and Ice series, A Feast for Crows, so I have something to read. I learned the other day that some libraries are starting to loan out e-books. I need to head over to my local library, which happens to be at the local community college where I hope to take classes one day, and see if I can hook me up with some loaner books, instead of paying for them. That'd be AWESOME.
My nose still hurts like a bitch. My septum is sore like you get with any bone that's healing. You know, that deep dull ache. I've taken to wearing strips of lidocane patches across my nose like a Biore strip. It helps only a little, but it's better than nothing. The right side where they removed the turbinate stings on occasion, and is still triggering headaches. I need to have "it's only been a month, chill out" posted about my house so I won't worry or get discouraged. There's a very pessimistic, overly dramatic, super-catastrophizer side of me that keeps saying that I have some rare condition that no one is ever going to figure out and I'll live in pain for the rest of my life. Because God knows, the care I get through the county won't ever come up with the solution. Hell, this surgery was a shot in the dark.
I really hope I can sleep. The more I'm awake during the night, the more anxious I get, and then the more binge-y I end up. Must not eat everything in the house. Though Sis made a pasta salad with farfalle, bacon, feta, parmesan, mushrooms, tomatoes, and spinach, that was really good.
OMG SHUT DOWN BRAIN JEEZ.