Tired of arguing with men about how women are truly treated...
I'm jumping up here on my Feminist podium again for a minute: I got into a convo. with my brother a couple of days ago about how Women are treated in our society -he seems to feel that I'm full of it, that women aren't treated badly -hell, we've got women in high places in the gov't, what the hell else could we want?! And he brings up how men are made to look stupid in the media -tv shows like, "Two and a Half Men", "Malcolm in the Middle", "Simpsons", etc. -and he's right, a lot of shows do make men look stupid in the media. But men aren't treated any worse off because of those shows in real life.
Now, I've gotten on here in the past and asked for other women to speak up regarding how they feel they are treated by men. Not ONE woman spoke up. While that was greatly disappointing to me, I understand that many of you may not feel safe to share your experiences in such an open forum like Facebook...even though my page is Friends-Only. And some of you just may not give a rat's ass, either. That's your prerogative.
But, I am incensed by anyone telling us that as Women, we are not treated badly, that our media and society is not putting messages out there that further reinforces certain ideas and stereotypes about women which further engenders bad behaviors toward us. From commercials featuring a woman in a bikini which is trying to sell a fucking hamburger, to the majority of our movies featuring MALE actors as the "hero" vs. a woman...and the roles women are continually put into in tv shows and movies and commercials, etc.
But it goes beyond all that. Let's take this to a street-level: It's how we're treated 'each and every' day by men in our 'everyday life' and they think it's ok. At the work place, I've got men who will go out of his way (physically) to ask one of the young guys I work with a question rather than myself...the funny thing is when those kids show their ignorance and have to refer to me for the answer, or I just step in with it. I've got a female co-worker who CONSTANTLY has men who will NOT look at her when asking a question -even though she's the one answering it. They treat her like she's stupid regardless of how much knowledge and experience she's got and is demonstrating in trying to help them with their problem. She and I have talked about this on more than one occasion. She's told her male co-workers about some of her experiences in how she's treated by other men just because she's female. One male co-worker recently, first-hand, observed such an 'experience'...he later told her, "I believed you when you told us about this, but WOW!" Doesn't sound like he 'truly' believed her, to me.:/
I go to work wearing a button-up, collared shirt with an ugly blue apron over it and blue jeans. This apron covers my front down to nearly my knees. It's not tight on me at all. I wear my hair up and back and the only makeup I tend to wear is mascara (for the guys, it's the black stuff we put on our eyelashes). So I'm not all "done-up" like I'm going out or anything. Pretty plain looking. I 'still' get guys who think it's ok to leer at me in a very obvious way, frankly looking me up and down...one older guy (old enough to be my father) recently told me that I was pretty sexy looking for this early in the morning...he came by me twice to look me up and down both times.(which was disgusting and very seriously made me feel ashamed and disgusting) I get sexual comments, too. Is this at all respectful toward women? Fuck no, it's not.
But since men don't hear us speak out about it, they don't believe it's happening. And they don't watch themselves or eachother to see it happening, either.
I stood next to my ex in a gas station once back in NY while he was paying for gas at the counter and the guy at the counter stared 'very openly' at my chest nearly the whole time. I had a black men's comic-book t-shirt on, so the collar went up to my neck and it wasn't the least bit tight. And it didn't have a ton of character's on it, so he wasn't checking out the artwork, either. I was so angry/shocked/and ashamed that I didn't know what to say and so we ended up leaving that gas station without me saying a word to the guy about his staring...which, to this day, I hate myself for. But my ex 'never' noticed it. I told him about it afterwards and he was genuinely surprised.
So many men get upset when we 'feminists' start speaking up for ourselves and speaking out against the ways we are treated by men. I think those men get upset because they know that in some way they are also guilty of some sexist thing, either said or done, against a woman. And they don't like to have it brought up.
But if we don't speak up and out against this shit, it's not going to stop.
Here's an article by women about experiences they've had since they were little more than a child regarding being yelled out at in public or in some way sexually harassed by strange men: http://rookiemag.com/2012/05/it-happens-all-the-time/
And here's another one: http://www.ihollaback.org/ And this one has something men LOVE to spout about all the time, STATISTICS.
No, women are not -even to this day- all paid equal to their male counterparts. And no, just because some women use their sex to help them get ahead in this world does NOT mean the rest of us do the same. And just because we have breasts and a vagina does not give you the right to leer and oggle us nor to yell disgusting things at us from street corners and/or moving vehicles, etc. and it certainly does not mean that we are any less intelligent than you are.
I'm tired of the bullshit and I'm tired of arguing with men who refuse to open their fucking eyes and see how the women in their lives are being treated and to take it seriously.
I'm tired of being treated like I'm less than a person and that I'm below a man.
I'm fucking tired of it all. I wish other women would stand with me and raise their voices and share their experiences and feelings on these matters, too.
Now, I've gotten on here in the past and asked for other women to speak up regarding how they feel they are treated by men. Not ONE woman spoke up. While that was greatly disappointing to me, I understand that many of you may not feel safe to share your experiences in such an open forum like Facebook...even though my page is Friends-Only. And some of you just may not give a rat's ass, either. That's your prerogative.
But, I am incensed by anyone telling us that as Women, we are not treated badly, that our media and society is not putting messages out there that further reinforces certain ideas and stereotypes about women which further engenders bad behaviors toward us. From commercials featuring a woman in a bikini which is trying to sell a fucking hamburger, to the majority of our movies featuring MALE actors as the "hero" vs. a woman...and the roles women are continually put into in tv shows and movies and commercials, etc.
But it goes beyond all that. Let's take this to a street-level: It's how we're treated 'each and every' day by men in our 'everyday life' and they think it's ok. At the work place, I've got men who will go out of his way (physically) to ask one of the young guys I work with a question rather than myself...the funny thing is when those kids show their ignorance and have to refer to me for the answer, or I just step in with it. I've got a female co-worker who CONSTANTLY has men who will NOT look at her when asking a question -even though she's the one answering it. They treat her like she's stupid regardless of how much knowledge and experience she's got and is demonstrating in trying to help them with their problem. She and I have talked about this on more than one occasion. She's told her male co-workers about some of her experiences in how she's treated by other men just because she's female. One male co-worker recently, first-hand, observed such an 'experience'...he later told her, "I believed you when you told us about this, but WOW!" Doesn't sound like he 'truly' believed her, to me.:/
I go to work wearing a button-up, collared shirt with an ugly blue apron over it and blue jeans. This apron covers my front down to nearly my knees. It's not tight on me at all. I wear my hair up and back and the only makeup I tend to wear is mascara (for the guys, it's the black stuff we put on our eyelashes). So I'm not all "done-up" like I'm going out or anything. Pretty plain looking. I 'still' get guys who think it's ok to leer at me in a very obvious way, frankly looking me up and down...one older guy (old enough to be my father) recently told me that I was pretty sexy looking for this early in the morning...he came by me twice to look me up and down both times.(which was disgusting and very seriously made me feel ashamed and disgusting) I get sexual comments, too. Is this at all respectful toward women? Fuck no, it's not.
But since men don't hear us speak out about it, they don't believe it's happening. And they don't watch themselves or eachother to see it happening, either.
I stood next to my ex in a gas station once back in NY while he was paying for gas at the counter and the guy at the counter stared 'very openly' at my chest nearly the whole time. I had a black men's comic-book t-shirt on, so the collar went up to my neck and it wasn't the least bit tight. And it didn't have a ton of character's on it, so he wasn't checking out the artwork, either. I was so angry/shocked/and ashamed that I didn't know what to say and so we ended up leaving that gas station without me saying a word to the guy about his staring...which, to this day, I hate myself for. But my ex 'never' noticed it. I told him about it afterwards and he was genuinely surprised.
So many men get upset when we 'feminists' start speaking up for ourselves and speaking out against the ways we are treated by men. I think those men get upset because they know that in some way they are also guilty of some sexist thing, either said or done, against a woman. And they don't like to have it brought up.
But if we don't speak up and out against this shit, it's not going to stop.
Here's an article by women about experiences they've had since they were little more than a child regarding being yelled out at in public or in some way sexually harassed by strange men: http://rookiemag.com/2012/05/it-happens-all-the-time/
And here's another one: http://www.ihollaback.org/ And this one has something men LOVE to spout about all the time, STATISTICS.
No, women are not -even to this day- all paid equal to their male counterparts. And no, just because some women use their sex to help them get ahead in this world does NOT mean the rest of us do the same. And just because we have breasts and a vagina does not give you the right to leer and oggle us nor to yell disgusting things at us from street corners and/or moving vehicles, etc. and it certainly does not mean that we are any less intelligent than you are.
I'm tired of the bullshit and I'm tired of arguing with men who refuse to open their fucking eyes and see how the women in their lives are being treated and to take it seriously.
I'm tired of being treated like I'm less than a person and that I'm below a man.
I'm fucking tired of it all. I wish other women would stand with me and raise their voices and share their experiences and feelings on these matters, too.