I Imagine Hedonism Bot Is Always Well Rested
For the tenth consecutive night, I find myself unable to fall asleep before 4:00 in the morning. However, especially since household chores is even more unappealing at this time than they are during the daylight hours, it does permit me the opportunity to compose another journal update, which is woefully overdue. I would had submitted an entry much earlier, but I never found the catalyst or impetus to start it until tonight. My hope is that, instead of resorting to some pharmaceutical intervention, I might exhaust myself into the land of unconsciousness through some disjointed rambling and self-indulgent reflections.
Recent events have been rather uneventful for the most part; with the exception of a brief visit by Sarah and J last weekend, and a few dinners with my Davis friends Kay and Austin, my time has mostly been allocated to work, errands/chores, guinea pig time, and of course, WoW. Excluding the adventures in Northrend and rodent reveries, the uninterrupted cycle of work on campus followed by work at home has definitely affected my motivation. When virtually all of the things that need to be done are under-stimulating, it's far easier to neglect them. Sadly, the lack of daily accomplishments frustrates me, only adding to the lack of motivation and effervescence. I wonder if I should be concerned about attributing adjectives to myself often reserved solely for carbonated beverages and stomach soothing tablets? Fortunately, the negligence never lasts so long that the obstacle becomes insurmountable, but psychologically, it's certainly not an ideal place to be.
I suppose the lack of motivation is a systemic effect of a dormant cause which occasionally becomes active in such mundane times; the concern that my universe will become so small and confined that I will become crushed within it. The weather this week certainly hasn't helped the situation; such saturation is completely unacceptable unless a tarp and explicit scandalous behavior is involved. Instead of a linear progression of events and experiences, this week has felt more like a fragmented montage of events placed on a recurring loop... with a gloomy aquatic theme courtesy of the storms. Of course, I've managed to find some briefly entertaining distractions, but until I can acquire a slave laborer, a sugar mama/daddy, or a lucrative position as lottery winner, the obligations of capitalism and domesticity still seem to emerge and disappoint. Lately, I've experienced many of the disadvantages of corporeal existence with few of the advantages; I should either start living my life more like Hedonism Bot or convert my consciousness into some form of non-corporeal energy; perhaps I'll live in the Celestial Temple with the other wormhole aliens.
Then again, the Celestial Temple is quite a long-distance move, and where would I put the pigs and all my random art? Feeling trapped between work and home has made me consider moving somewhere far away, somewhere that would be affordable enough to purchase a house rather than be subjected to the whims of landlords and overpriced housing. Although I would still have regular interaction through WoW with many of my friends, I know being more geographically distant from friends would only enhance the issue. Besides, most affordable places have horrible winters, and the thought of any weather more severe sounds lethal. Besides, despite the relatively high cost of housing and the fact that the demographic is turning more into a game of blackjack -- anything over 21 is a bust -- Davis is still an awesome place to be. Plus, it's relatively close to a considerable number of my closest friends.
Upon reflection, this entry seems more negative and over-dramatic than I intended, and more so than it needs to be to paint an accurate picture of recent events. I suppose the cruel mistress of Insomnia will do that; if Insomnia were a raid boss, I sadly lack the cooldowns necessary to divert aggro to someone more resilient in such nocturnal matters. Nevertheless, I do now feel sufficiently tired to attempt sleep again. Fortunately, I don't have an exceptionally early or lengthy workday tomorrow, so I should be reasonable cogent tomorrow. Until then though, I believe that's all for now.
Recent events have been rather uneventful for the most part; with the exception of a brief visit by Sarah and J last weekend, and a few dinners with my Davis friends Kay and Austin, my time has mostly been allocated to work, errands/chores, guinea pig time, and of course, WoW. Excluding the adventures in Northrend and rodent reveries, the uninterrupted cycle of work on campus followed by work at home has definitely affected my motivation. When virtually all of the things that need to be done are under-stimulating, it's far easier to neglect them. Sadly, the lack of daily accomplishments frustrates me, only adding to the lack of motivation and effervescence. I wonder if I should be concerned about attributing adjectives to myself often reserved solely for carbonated beverages and stomach soothing tablets? Fortunately, the negligence never lasts so long that the obstacle becomes insurmountable, but psychologically, it's certainly not an ideal place to be.
I suppose the lack of motivation is a systemic effect of a dormant cause which occasionally becomes active in such mundane times; the concern that my universe will become so small and confined that I will become crushed within it. The weather this week certainly hasn't helped the situation; such saturation is completely unacceptable unless a tarp and explicit scandalous behavior is involved. Instead of a linear progression of events and experiences, this week has felt more like a fragmented montage of events placed on a recurring loop... with a gloomy aquatic theme courtesy of the storms. Of course, I've managed to find some briefly entertaining distractions, but until I can acquire a slave laborer, a sugar mama/daddy, or a lucrative position as lottery winner, the obligations of capitalism and domesticity still seem to emerge and disappoint. Lately, I've experienced many of the disadvantages of corporeal existence with few of the advantages; I should either start living my life more like Hedonism Bot or convert my consciousness into some form of non-corporeal energy; perhaps I'll live in the Celestial Temple with the other wormhole aliens.
Then again, the Celestial Temple is quite a long-distance move, and where would I put the pigs and all my random art? Feeling trapped between work and home has made me consider moving somewhere far away, somewhere that would be affordable enough to purchase a house rather than be subjected to the whims of landlords and overpriced housing. Although I would still have regular interaction through WoW with many of my friends, I know being more geographically distant from friends would only enhance the issue. Besides, most affordable places have horrible winters, and the thought of any weather more severe sounds lethal. Besides, despite the relatively high cost of housing and the fact that the demographic is turning more into a game of blackjack -- anything over 21 is a bust -- Davis is still an awesome place to be. Plus, it's relatively close to a considerable number of my closest friends.
Upon reflection, this entry seems more negative and over-dramatic than I intended, and more so than it needs to be to paint an accurate picture of recent events. I suppose the cruel mistress of Insomnia will do that; if Insomnia were a raid boss, I sadly lack the cooldowns necessary to divert aggro to someone more resilient in such nocturnal matters. Nevertheless, I do now feel sufficiently tired to attempt sleep again. Fortunately, I don't have an exceptionally early or lengthy workday tomorrow, so I should be reasonable cogent tomorrow. Until then though, I believe that's all for now.