True to Thy Heart
Title: True To Thy Heart
Author: mara93
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: I disclaim. Merlin belongs to BBC/Shine.
Genre: Episode extender for Episode 4.05. This was supposed to be a short ficlet, but then it just kept growing so here we go.
Spoilers: for episode 4.05 and before, please note.
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Gwen // Arthur, Gwen, Merlin, Agravaine, Queen Annis, Percival, Elyan, Gaius, Gwaine and minor Leon
Summary: Has the four A’s: angst, amour, adventure and Agravaine…lol. / Gwen trusts her heart in making a choice that will lead her closer to becoming queen and Arthur learns just how brave and influential she can be.
Author’s Note: I enjoyed this ep, but I felt elements were rushed. I wanted to take certain aspects of it into greater depth and it turned into this long story that is kind of AU from the direction of the show. Because of its length I’m going to post it in parts, but it’s completely done. Updates will be frequent, about 2-3 days between. // This is for the wonderful ella_rose88 for her bid for her Help the Fight Against Depression Auction at her fanfic journal: m_in_wonderland
***
It was days later, the trouble brewing more, that Arthur, king of Camelot, sent out a squadron of knights. The bandits and mercenaries were making things precarious for those living in the villages at Camelot’s exterior. The small patrol included most importantly Gwaine and Elyan. Each were fierce fighters, and while Gwaine was the rustic use whatever you have at your side as your arsenal type, Elyan accepted protocol, with a little bit of a savage twist. A great balance together they were, for such precarious situation
As he departed another laboring council meeting, the king ran his hand through his hair with frustration. It was difficult planning action and being no part of it. He missed going out on patrol with the others. Although he didn’t always spend his time in council, lately he was spending more of it as such. It was needed. Vital decisions were being made. The situation was tricky. One wrong move could lead to war with not only the mercenaries, but neighboring kingdoms. The wrong decision could be detrimental to any peace agreements previously made.
Stopping beneath one of the overhangs, Arthur pressed his back against the wall, his eyes shutting to the sounds of the castle and to everything around him. He needed a moment’s peace.
Soon he was not alone. A gentle whisper of touch moved across his cheek.
Slowly he opened his eyes.
Lowering her fingers slightly, Gwen gave him a reassuring smile.
“This must be our new place of meeting.” He joked tiredly.
Gwen reached out for the king’s hand, holding it just underneath her shoulder. “Must be.”
Arthur lifted his eyes, unsettlement of too many choices and not enough right answers edging his brow.
“You need to rest.”
He shook his head stubbornly. “I have knights out there defending this kingdom. How can I find rest?”
“Including my brother.”
The king quickly grasped Guinevere’s shoulder, feeling her personal involvement in this. “I know.” Neither said anything more. The quiet was needed peace. Between them, there was a bit of edginess still. Guinevere had continually insisted she was not upset or angry. But Arthur could sense the layer of tension even as she belayed it to give him comfort.
“I hope I’m handling this right.” He spoke honestly.
Gwen frowned, squeezing his hand. “You have many giving you council.”
Agreeing dryly, Arthur muttered, “Yes.” It was beneficial having many to consult with, but could also be a hindrance. And he had to wonder, if maybe he relied upon it too much. His father, while alive, made decisions instantaneously often. Arthur saw it many times. In contrast, he sometimes found himself struggling with each one, especially those of late.
Gwen moved forward quickly now, grasping the king’s shoulders. “You are a caring man Arthur. And a good king. One the people respect and look to for protection. The voices of others I’m sure is helpful…but also…”
Arthur coaxed, “Go on. Say what you’re thinking.”
She reached up, kissing his lips gently, touching at the bottom one as she whispered, “Just trust your heart. Listen to it. Be true to it. Because if you aren’t-
“King Arthur, we need the king!”
He grimaced tightly, but as the voice was desperate, hoarse, they both stared at each other. Then a new voice, a deep rustic sounding one. “Arthur! Merlin, we have to get him to Gaius! Stop the bleeding!”
The handmaiden and king exchanged looks of dread. She ran out first, stunned by what she saw going on in the long hallway. Gwaine, back from the battle, with a shallow cut to his arm was supporting, with the help of Merlin, a limp, stained-
“Elyan!”
Coming out after her, Arthur watched with fervid emotion as Gwen ran to her injured brother. Unable to move for a second, he flinched at the blood that was dripping onto the stone swept floor, trailing off the man’s chainmail.
Gathering his wits, the king moved forward now, questioning dully, “What happened?”
Gwaine grunted angrily, painfully. “Mercenary ambush of course. Their numbers are growing larger. And they have no fears about getting closer to Camelot’s outer borders. Elyan fought strong, but then one of them got him on the side. They fight like animals, Arthur. With no dignity at all. It happened before any of us could blink.”
“Elyan?” Gwen asked gently, pushing her fear to the recesses of her soul. His eyes were closed, but weakly he murmured her name. Both she and Arthur followed Merlin and Gwaine to see Gaius.
“Put him on the cot there.” Gaius directed authoritatively in his gravelly voice, already gathering up ailments and such as they hurriedly entered the room. “Get that armor off.”
Gwaine started to pull it away, Gwen joining him on the other side to help.
Arthur could see markedly how her hands were shaking even as she insisted on assisting.
“I’ll need some clean water.” Gwaine and Gwen were finishing with the chainmail so that Elyan could be fully treated. Merlin had a handful of the supplies Gaius needed and was assisting him now as the elder man started to inspect the wound and work to stop the bleeding.
Taking a quick look outside, Arthur saw no servants, a few guards at the end just. “I’ll get it.” He came to the decision rapidly with one reason, necessity. There was no one to delegate the job to, and Elyan needed all of their help. This one little bit was his responsibility. Grabbing the handle of the bucket he rushed out of the room, shamefully relieved to have something to do so he could get away from the ugliness of battle injury for a moment.
Gwen distantly heard his announcement as she watched Gaius cut away the last bits of Elyan’s tunic. Merlin moved around her to get to the cloths Gaius expressed need for. Gwen shuddered as the blood was revealed upon previously unstained skin. The room was densely filled with the scent of lost vital fluid and strong ailments, punishing her senses.
Still at a running pace, Arthur came back in as carefully he could with the water, ignoring the bits he’d spilled upon the floor in his haste. “Here, hopefully this will do.” He put it down on the floor beside Gaius.
He felt Merlin’s eyes on him for a second, gesturing to Guinevere’s pain. Arthur didn’t need it. He already knew.
Gaius smiled gently, gratefully at the hastily filled bucket of water. Thank you Sire.”
Gwen’s fingers cemented over her mouth. The blood was thick upon her brother’s dark shining skin. She felt sick. Nauseous.
A solid wall of protection came against her back, strongly pulling her away.
“No, I have to help-
She insisted.
But Arthur shook his head, holding her so firmly she could not get away, his arms wrapping around the front bodice of her dress from behind, hands clasping at her heart, as her dark curls rubbed against his cheek’s skin. “Not now. They have it. Let them do the work. Stay with me. It’s okay. Just breathe Guinevere.”
She indeed did let out a shaky breath at Arthur’s tendering words. She felt her body’s weakness leaning upon him, and getting stronger bolster as his grip tightened, his chest presented even more boldly against her back. His legs hit at hers, stoutly keeping her standing.
The tremors of her body shook his own heart. The business in front of them, of saving a man’s life, rocked through his semblance of strength, but Arthur knew he had to keep it up for her sake. If he broke now, what kind of king was he? What kind of man to the woman he loved?
“I can’t lose him.” Gwen whispered, fear frigid on her lips.
Arthur pushed his face into her curtain of dark curls, daring to get even closer to her now that he felt he was almost inside her heart. “You won’t.”
Hollow promises he pleaded with heavenly matter for. The situation was dire, the room so filled with healing work that was stifling its air. One thing came to his mind now to break up an inch of the desperate angst. He whispered it as a temporary antidote into her ear,
“Remember the time that unsavory character from the outer borders came? I’ll never forget the sight of that man screaming like a little girl, like Merlin really, as your brother chased him wildly with that favorite ax of his.”
A slight smile crossed her face, his remembered story a gentle warm comfort as she recalled the wild humorous sight. “He would have scared me.”
This was no time for laughter, so Arthur just let out a sound of amused consent. Waiting was awful and something he had struggled with since being a boy, having to be patient. But for now his own discomfort was least on his mind. Keeping close to him the soft and yet firmly worked molds of her body, Arthur inwardly hoped for the needed outcome.
Gwen kept still, in the back fragments of her heart thankful for Arthur’s physical and emotional wall of support. It was true there had been some distance between them since he came to her house that night, but it couldn’t take away the depth of love and care she had for him, and she knew he had for her. Like she told Merlin, it wasn’t a lack of love she missed or feared from Arthur. She knew his intentions toward her in that regard. It was the other side of things, her role of duty and service that she questioned much now.
But at a moment so fragile like this, none of that truly mattered. All she cared about was that Elyan would be alright, that she’d hear the soft timbres of his voice again, and see him ridiculously protecting everything in Camelot with that huge foreboding axe of his.
Time passed painfully slowly, but after enough agonizing moments, Gaius moved to them.
Gwen stepped forward, glancing at her still unconscious brother who at least seemed to not be bleeding so heavily, the area of the wound bandaged. “Gaius?”
The elder man smiled gently. “Luck was with our young knight. Any closer to his vital organs and it could have been much worse for Elyan. But as it is, fortune was with your brother. He’s going to be fine. Out of commission for a day or two, but with rest and continued medical care he will heal completely.”
Hearing those heavenly words, Gwen let out a strong sigh of relief, pressing her fingers to her heart with joy. Supporting her back still, Arthur let out his own, not realizing he’d been holding it in so much.
Happiness finally released the tears Gwen had been stoically containing. Seeing them, Merlin clasped her hand with a friendly encouraging smile. “It’s alright now Gwen.” Through the beginning wetness in her eyes, she smiled at him gratefully, squeezing his offered hand, hugging him and embracing Gaius too. “I want to stay with him. I have a room to tend to though that needs to be prepared for-
Arthur lifted his hand rapidly, clasping her waist with reassurance. “Forget it. You’re off duty for now. Just stay with your brother. Merlin will take care of that room for you.”
Under normal circumstances Merlin would hiss ‘headless chicken’ at the king, but now he just smiled in agreement. “Arthur’s right. I’ll take care of it Gwen.” She didn’t protest, just squeezed Merlin’s hand with gratitude before he left to take over her duties. Moving over to the dirtied heroic Gwaine, she embraced him too, careful to not upset his cut. “Thank you for bringing him back safely.” She told the knight with heartfelt gratitude, aware that Gwaine’s speed and bravery was probably much of the reason her brother was brought back to Camelot in time to be treated.
Gwaine just gave a good natured shrug and sincere smile. If there wasn’t Arthur, hah, well he’d have made his move. As it was though, he was just happy to have her as a dear friend. “Ah, I didn’t do much. Besides, who would we have to wildly swing axes around, right?”
They all laughed at that, the direst emergency ended.
Arthur backed away now, feeling Guinevere’s hand come upon his arm. Glancing down at her with tenderness, spotting the wetness at the edges of her eyes, he pulled her into his arms.
She felt the gentle pressure of a kiss upon her forehead. Lifting her eyes she saw his love and something else. “Arthur?”
“I’m glad he’s okay.” Pulling away, he gestured forward. “I need to go talk with the council. Stay and just be with your brother, alright?” For a quick moment he studied the man lying upon the cot, alive and lucky. Then with a tight smile, Arthur made his departure.
So attentive to her brother, Gwen let him go.
Outside of the room now, Arthur strode purposefully to the meeting hall.
After he got there, another rush of news interrupted the talks. It would mean even longer hours of council, and more hard decisions having to be made. It was very troubling to the still novel king who had yet to find his way around his position, to understand how his father had done it so well. And yet to decide if his way was meant to rule just like his father, or maybe with much more uniqueness.
Perhaps more by cooperation and methods of peace.
***
“I’m fine Gwen.”
Elyan reassured his sister as she fixed his blankets and made sure he ate the dinner the king had sent down for him and for her, actually. Gwen had been mildly surprised as the servant told her, “His royal highness wanted to make sure that you both had enough to eat.” She hadn’t expected him to have prepared for both of them such fine meals. But she supposed it shouldn’t be that much of a shock. Arthur had a caring heart.
Elyan was finished with his meal. She had barely taken more than a bite, tending to her brother instead like a doting mother. For one year he’d been away and now he had just faced death. Caring for him was as healing for her as it was for him.
Elyan complained strongly now. He understood well she was worried and needed something to do, but that didn’t mean she could neglect her own health. “You make me eat everything off that plate and yet you’ve barely touched yours, huddling around me instead. You need to eat Gwen.”
She shrugged his words off quickly. “It was too much anyway. I could never eat all that.”
“Well you can at least have half of it.” He insisted.
Gwen shook her head. “No. It’s not me you should be thinking about. I’m not the one who received a sword’s gash. Now quiet and-
Elyan had enough. Once when they were younger, both he and his father fell ill with the fever, probably about four years after the loss of their mother. Gwen had tended to both of them until she nearly fainted from exhaustion. His father had to get himself out of bed to make sure she didn’t fall straight to the floor. Elyan was set in mind that it wouldn’t reach such a dire place now. She’d eat if he had to spoon the food into her mouth himself.
Grabbing hold of her fussing hand, ignoring the sharp pain in his chest that made him groan for a pair of seconds, Elyan pulled until she was sitting next to him on the cot. “Stop this.”
She pointed at him strongly, a fierce frown upon her face. “You can’t stress so. You’ll open the wound!”
He lifted his eyebrows to make his point. “Fine then. If you don’t want me to stress, you eat. No doubt you’ve been working all day, exhausting with fright too for my injury. Now you’ll get sick if you don’t have some food.”
Her expression faltered. She touched tenderly at his chest, avoiding the wound. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”
Elyan smiled at that, pulling her down just a bit more and leaning forward to gently kiss his sister’s cheek. She turned at it, kissing his, before moving away.
Elyan strongly gestured. With a deep sigh she finally put some more of the food into her mouth. It was good, richly made.
Elyan smiled with satisfaction, lying back down completely against the pillow as she told him after a few bites, “Arthur said you spoke for me when you were away at battle against Caerleon.”
Elyan shrugged, making sure she continued to eat before replying. “I have deep respect for Arthur and I faithfully pledged my allegiance to him. You know that. But you are my sister too. And even if you tried to hide it, I know you were upset when we left.”
“I wasn’t upset.”
Elyan frowned with disapproval. “Yes you were. Arthur is the finest king, but he was wrong to hurt you. He admitted it to me.”
Gwen shrugged after taking another bite, feeling her brother’s eyes pointedly on her, making sure she continued eating. She was afraid if she didn’t, he’d try to sit up again and upset the dressings, hurting himself. It was a sort of blackmail that she thought he was cheeky to play with her, but for now he was the injured one and so she’d let him have the advantage. “He’s been under a lot of pressure. It cannot be easy for him to be king, especially after losing his father so grievously. I thank you for speaking for me, but you didn’t have to do it Elyan. I was fine with what he decided.”
Elyan saw through her selfless lie right away. “No you weren’t. And I’m just glad he made up for it now.” He lightly teased, getting her to choke some on her food. “Soon enough you’ll take your new role, queen.”
Gwen put down the dish, having eaten half of it like he had demanded, and needing some water for her sudden coughs. Taking a long sip from the cup, she shook her head. “I don’t know if that will happen, Elyan.”
He looked at her questioningly. “What do you mean? It is obvious Arthur is in love with you. He said as much. And I’m bloody sure you love him. So what’s to stop it?”
“I’m not noble born.”
“Neither am I.”
The argument didn’t convince her. “Arthur made you Knight at a time of need. For he required your help and he still does. He sees you strongly in your role. But as for myself…Morgana is no longer here. Even his father is gone. What is my role?”
Elyan laughed dryly. “Gwen, this castle would probably fall apart without your tending to it, arranging the order of it.”
“Head servant then. That’s hardly queen.”
Elyan wanted to further make his point, but shortly after eating he’d been given a sleeping draught to help him rest. Now it was taking effect as he let out a drowsy yawn, his eyes going heavy. “Gwen…”
She clasped his hand. “No. It’s fine. Don’t concern yourself about me. You need your rest.”
Any attempt to continue his counter, he was losing, barely able to keep his eyes open.
Soon enough he was asleep. Gwen left him to Gaius’s care, hastily pocketing something into her cloak before she left.
***
Gwen had tried to finish the last of her duties, but Merlin quickly shrugged her off, letting her know he had it all under control. With gracious thanks, Gwen departed. She considered herself fortunate to have such a good friend. In the hallway, she ascended the steps to the location of the council room. There was a door towards the back that she tiptoed to, as it was slightly ajar. Quietly, she listened in to a pair of familiar voices.
“I have to go.”
“No. You cannot Arthur.”
“Elyan could have died today! I cannot let another of my knights be put in this kind of danger. There’s only one possible solution and we both know what it is. Camelot cannot do this alone. Their land is receiving the same threats. If we work together-
“You are on opposite sides!”
“Maybe not Uncle.”
“Arthur, we nearly-
“Look, listen to me. If I go in there alone-
“Are you serious? Arthur, that would be madness! You are my nephew. I don’t want anything to happen-
“I am king of this land Uncle. It’s time I do-
There was a bit of silence and then one of the voices seemed to change direction, coming straight at her, loud and clear. Gwen gasped as she saw Agravaine’s scrutinizing eyes.
“Guinevere, do you need something?”
Another pair of eyes landed on her sharply. Arthur looked full of surprise. “Guinevere?”
She had regarded the use of her full name an intimate one that only Arthur used for some time now. Not even Elyan called her Guinevere. It was just Agravaine who regularly used it now too, and it was strange how it sounded to her sometimes, especially now with Arthur intimately echoing it. “I am sorry.” She pressed her hands together in apology. “I did not mean to intrude.”
Arthur rapidly approached her before she could turn away, clasping her hands into his. “Is it Elyan? Is he-
Gwen quickly sought to appease him, squeezing at his fingers. “He’s fine. Really. Just sleeping.”
Arthur nodded with relief.
Agravaine didn’t want to press his luck. Arthur’s attention was fully on the woman in the room now. It would be useless to keep up his argument, and look disrespectful to try to get rid of her. He needed to keep Arthur’s trust for as long as possible. It was the only way ultimately to remove him from the throne. Patience, oh patience. He had Arthur’s agreement at least, with reluctance, but the king had been giving in. Again.
If he could keep influencing him this way, even though Arthur negated his advice on Guinevere the servant woman, he could use the time to build up his and Morgana’s ultimate agenda. One day indeed Camelot would fall, and its king and all associated with him would have to flee like the demon of hell was on their trail.
Or face death.
Or maybe both.
One day. For now, patience.
“Well, I will leave you two alone. Goodnight Arthur, Guinevere.”
Gwen’s eyes barely left her king’s. It took her seconds to remember Agravaine’s position, the way he used her name still a bit offsetting. “Goodnight my Lord.”
Arthur kept his attention on Guinevere as he addressed his uncle distantly. “Goodnight.”
A pair of warm, but trembling lips pressed upon his after Agravaine was out of the room. Arthur brought his head down for the kiss. It was slow, but its depth reached strong levels of emotion. Each pulled away from the other reluctantly.
Gwen wasn’t totally sure how to say what she needed to next. She’d gone over it only a couple of times, rapidly.
“I need to ask you something.” Gwen’s fingers pressed against Arthur’s wrist.
“What is it?”
“I want to visit my father’s grave.”
Arthur’s eyes widened with surprise. “I thought you’d want to stay with your brother.”
She nodded her head with a grimace. “I do, of course. But he’s resting now and I know he’s in great care with Gaius.” She wrung her hands back and forth restlessly. “It’s hard for me to just sit. I want to do something for him and there’s really nothing now other than fixing his blankets. If he wakes up to me adjusting them one more time I think he’ll start yelling out annoyances.”
Arthur smiled at that. Guinevere was the best nurse ever, but definitely the doting type. Although he’d have no complaint to so tenderly being taken care of he could see how it might irritate her brother some. It still didn’t explain her request though.
Tears entered her eyes, as real as ever.
“After what happened with Elyan today, I am just feeling…restless and, my heart is-
Her voice was trembling. Arthur caressed her cheeks with his roughened fingers.
“I just need to be with him. Tonight. Please Arthur. A few moments just-with my father.”
The tears were now falling down her face, steadily, her lips a vibration of emotion. Arthur nodded his head, not taking time to think about it. She just needed and so he wanted. “I’ll take you now.”
“No.
I’ll go alone.”
“Never.” Arthur firmly contradicted. Tom was not buried within Camelot’s interior. It was a simple crude grave closer to the edge of the wood, outside, for Tom had been executed with the label traitor. Arthur hated that for her sake it had to be so, but his father had only wanted to dispose of the body, no kind of burial to be granted.
At the time, Arthur had yet to start a relationship with Guinevere, but still he felt badly for her so he secretly arranged for the body to be left to his daughter so she could put him to rest properly. Thus, Tom was buried far from where the former king would ever see. A slab of rock was provided to her too that as the daughter of a blacksmith Arthur knew she must have engraved with beauty.
With patrols out regularly and the all the knights and guardsmen on high alert, it was safe enough to visit at night, but that didn’t mean he’d concede to letting her go alone. He’d put his foot down as king.
“Arthur-
“Don’t be foolish Guinevere. We go together or I forbid it.”
That harsh statement raised her ire. “I am not your property. You cannot forbid me.”
“Oh yes I can. I’m king, remember?”
Angrily Gwen pulled away from his grasp.
One of them needed to get control. Taking a deep breath, exhaling slowly, Arthur reached out for her shoulder. “I shouldn’t have said it that way. I’m sorry.”
With him apologizing, her temper cooled too. “You’re under a lot of pressure now.”
“Well, it was an awful fright for you to see Elyan hurt.”
Gwen nodded with feeling. “And you are right. It’s foolish of me to think to go alone. For many reasons. Perhaps one of the knights could come with me.”
Arthur shook his head, not understanding why she was denying his accompaniment. “There’s no reason why I can’t.”
She touched his chest, telling him firmly, “Oh but there is Arthur. You are king now and your kingdom is at a shaky place with the recent threats. If anything were to happen, not that I’m saying it would, but if it did, you’d need to be here. If they tried to look for you and found you at a…” She struggled with what was seen as truth and what she saw as a terrible insult against a man she had loved so. “At a traitor’s grave…they will see it only one way. And I know you understand what that means.”
Arthur pressed his fingers emotionally against her cheek. “He wasn’t a traitor.”
Tears fell. “Thank you. I know. You know. But they…”
Arthur lifted his eyes to the ceiling, hating that because his rule was new, there were still things he couldn’t change…yet. But one day he’d have that label taken away. One day.
His lips pressed deep against hers, the kiss just instantaneously there and needed. Tasting her heat and sweet intimate water of life, Arthur took long moments before breaking away. Brushing away her tears with the tips of his fingers, he whispered, “I’ll change it one day for you. I promise. No one will think of him as a traitor again.”
Gwen pressed against his chest, feeling the strong pull of Arthur’s arms. “I know you will.” He was burdened with much, confused sometimes. It was time for her to do her part and in that task, be true to her heart. “Arthur…”
Nodding his head, wishing what she said wasn’t true, Arthur came to a decision. “I’ll send Percival with you. When you’re done come back to the palace. I’ll have a cot brought into Gaius’s quarters so you can rest near Elyan.”
She grimaced at that.
Arthur faced her with confusion. “What? I thought you’d be happy to stay with him.”
Gwen shook her head, clasping his cheek with her fingers. “No, you’re right. I am. I just don’t want you to have to go to so much trouble.”
“It’s no trouble at all.”
She smiled, giving him a gentle kiss. “Well alright then.”
***
On horseback, they reached their destination quite quickly. The gravesite was hidden by most of the forest woodland, outside of Camelot. Gwen gazed down at the slab she’d been given to etch into a fitting headstone. She never quite understood it. Under Uther’s former rule she never should have been allowed a burial at all. It was his policy to burn traitors’ bodies or have them dumped deep into the most dangerous wood, where few persons ever traveled, to be torn apart by scavenging animals.
But someone, whose name she hoped one day to learn, provided her with the right of burial. To that person she was deeply thankful.
Gwen stepped down from her horse now as Percival too dismounted. Taking in his towering stature, yet mild demeanor, she smiled with gratitude.
“I appreciate you bringing me here Percival.”
He smiled too, showing his happiness to be of help to someone of great importance to his king, and regarded fondly by all the knights. “Glad to be of help Gwen.”
She faced her father’s grave, thoughts twisting through her mind. It was no pretense to come here. Her father had been the dearest person in her life while he was alive. She couldn’t imagine facing days without him. Now it had been years sans his rumbling happy voice. She needed to be with him to make her choice.
Percival stepped back to give her some privacy. Gwen quietly kneeled at the gravesite, bowing her head. She stayed like that for a long while. Percival turned away, listening to the quiet of the wood. The only things that interrupted were nature’s rustle and the voices of the patrols further away.
Gwen closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She knew now for certain. That didn’t mean this part would be easy though. Standing and moving to her horse, she took away from the saddle’s pack a pigskin canteen. Approaching Percival, she lifted it to him with a gracious smile. “You have been so kind to bring me here and you look quite thirsty. Although the night is cold the air is very dry.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
Gwen uncapped the canteen. “Then before we travel back you should have some…just water, but it will refresh.”
Percival shook his head. “No Gwen, really it was nothing to bring you here. More a privilege. You drink it.”
She brought the canteen closer to his face, directly under his nose. “I’ll have mine after. You must have some now though.”
Taking a whiff, Percival fingered the canteen into his grip.
Gwen watched him silently, her fingers touching at something within her cloak.
Percival brought the canteen down a bit, smiling with wonder. “You’re right. It’s very good. Just water, but it’s so thirst quenching.”
Gwen nodded with a small curve of her lips, even as her heart pounded hard against her chest. “Drink more. As much as you want.”
He seemed to want to fight it for a moment, but then Percival’s itching fingers brought the canteen up to his mouth again. He gulped down the water with hungry sounds. When he was done getting his fill, he was shocked and a bit mortified to see there wasn’t a drop left. “Oh Gwen, I drank it all. I told you not to give it to me. Here, I’m sorr-
The canteen fell out of his suddenly weakening hand. Gwen watched its descent tightly. Then she looked back up at Percival. His eyelashes were fluttering heavily. “Whoa…” She heard him say as he brought the flat of his hand out to a rigid oak tree trunk. “Ahhh…I…feel…”
Gwen pursed her lips anxiously and regrettably.
“So…sleepy. So…”
It was the only way she reminded herself as his body started to sag against the trunk. She held to his arm, hoping to make his landing a soft safe one. His eyelashes were fluttering less. Soon enough his eyes were closing heavily and thankfully the trunk kept supporting him. Giving him bolster still with her hand, with the help of the trunk’s unyielding hardness, Gwen helped the man descend to the ground. Pressing her palm under his head, she kept it from hitting the forest floor harshly. Then as it was evident he was fully asleep, she took the item out of her pocket.
It was a small vial, emptied. “I’m so sorry Percival. I hope in time you can forgive me. I know this place well and I know you’ll be safe. It’s just a sleeping draught, nothing more except some natural, but aromatic herbs from my garden. They encouraged you to drink so much.”
Picking up the fallen canteen, she left his side, moving to her horse’s saddle pack. Removing a blanket the color of the earth from it, she returned to Percival. “The draught is a mild one. I made sure of that. You should be resting for no more than a few hours.” She covered him protectively with the blanket, bringing it just a bit over his head, but allowing him to breathe. As she said, this environment should be safe from any invaders, even animals. The smaller kind mostly lingered here. But still, he could get cold in the night and better to have him blend in with the forest colors.
She touched his shoulder gently, whispering, “Your king, my king, would never have agreed to what I’m about to do. He loves me, but does not fully see my influence, for I truly haven’t fought to give it hard enough. You and all the rest of his knights, he sees as so brave. He gets advice from Merlin. And he has listened to my council before, but then, of late, it is his uncle he heeds. He severed our relationship, yes for only a short time, but it was long enough for me to see his doubts, not of love, but of kingdom’s purpose. And within I even saw my own flaws for I have sometimes been complacent, safe within my role as expected servant.
But I can’t do that anymore, not now that our relationship is so deep with feeling, and that my old roles have faded. I am so restless. So pained to see my brother nearly come to death and my kingdom faltering while one gives advice that I don’t always see as good for the Camelot I love.
The one Arthur does. So this is my only choice. I have to do this.
For if I am ever to become queen…
I cannot be an idle one, nor a cowardly one.
I must be brave.
I must listen to my heart.
Act to what it commands.”
She lay down next to him a second item, words written on parchment. Then letting out a long sigh, reminding herself the safety of this place, and the small bit of strength the draught had, she hurried to her horse. It was doubtful they’d look for her in the night. Arthur rarely traveled through the wood in the evening hours, for deeper within, there were many dangers. She was aware she’d be encountering them, but she was prepared, a sharp long bladed knife in her pack for the most precarious situation. The faster she got away, the further she’d get.
She mounted her horse, peering down with a troubled expression at Percival. He’d be alright though. And the note would tell her king enough.
Turning her horse away, she entered the dangerous wood, alone.
Unfortunately, she was wrong about one important thing. In her haste to get it out of the physician’s quarters without being seen, Gwen had mistakenly taken the wrong draught. This was one as powerful as he used to give the Lady Morgana. It would keep Percival slumbering throughout the night.
Then as she was fully on her venture, a small animal came out from its burrow. Seeing the parchment only as food, it ripped it with its teeth and claws. Soon enough it realized it was no kind of food and disgustedly spit it out, but the damage was done.
The note was riddled with holes and torn apart at most important bits,
Making many of its so vital words
Scavenged away.
***
To be continued…
Thank you for reading. More to come soon. Comments are adored. Sorry to my friends who are not fond of cliffhangers! For story’s purpose, I had to end this one here.
Author: mara93
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: I disclaim. Merlin belongs to BBC/Shine.
Genre: Episode extender for Episode 4.05. This was supposed to be a short ficlet, but then it just kept growing so here we go.
Spoilers: for episode 4.05 and before, please note.
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Gwen // Arthur, Gwen, Merlin, Agravaine, Queen Annis, Percival, Elyan, Gaius, Gwaine and minor Leon
Summary: Has the four A’s: angst, amour, adventure and Agravaine…lol. / Gwen trusts her heart in making a choice that will lead her closer to becoming queen and Arthur learns just how brave and influential she can be.
Author’s Note: I enjoyed this ep, but I felt elements were rushed. I wanted to take certain aspects of it into greater depth and it turned into this long story that is kind of AU from the direction of the show. Because of its length I’m going to post it in parts, but it’s completely done. Updates will be frequent, about 2-3 days between. // This is for the wonderful ella_rose88 for her bid for her Help the Fight Against Depression Auction at her fanfic journal: m_in_wonderland
***
It was days later, the trouble brewing more, that Arthur, king of Camelot, sent out a squadron of knights. The bandits and mercenaries were making things precarious for those living in the villages at Camelot’s exterior. The small patrol included most importantly Gwaine and Elyan. Each were fierce fighters, and while Gwaine was the rustic use whatever you have at your side as your arsenal type, Elyan accepted protocol, with a little bit of a savage twist. A great balance together they were, for such precarious situation
As he departed another laboring council meeting, the king ran his hand through his hair with frustration. It was difficult planning action and being no part of it. He missed going out on patrol with the others. Although he didn’t always spend his time in council, lately he was spending more of it as such. It was needed. Vital decisions were being made. The situation was tricky. One wrong move could lead to war with not only the mercenaries, but neighboring kingdoms. The wrong decision could be detrimental to any peace agreements previously made.
Stopping beneath one of the overhangs, Arthur pressed his back against the wall, his eyes shutting to the sounds of the castle and to everything around him. He needed a moment’s peace.
Soon he was not alone. A gentle whisper of touch moved across his cheek.
Slowly he opened his eyes.
Lowering her fingers slightly, Gwen gave him a reassuring smile.
“This must be our new place of meeting.” He joked tiredly.
Gwen reached out for the king’s hand, holding it just underneath her shoulder. “Must be.”
Arthur lifted his eyes, unsettlement of too many choices and not enough right answers edging his brow.
“You need to rest.”
He shook his head stubbornly. “I have knights out there defending this kingdom. How can I find rest?”
“Including my brother.”
The king quickly grasped Guinevere’s shoulder, feeling her personal involvement in this. “I know.” Neither said anything more. The quiet was needed peace. Between them, there was a bit of edginess still. Guinevere had continually insisted she was not upset or angry. But Arthur could sense the layer of tension even as she belayed it to give him comfort.
“I hope I’m handling this right.” He spoke honestly.
Gwen frowned, squeezing his hand. “You have many giving you council.”
Agreeing dryly, Arthur muttered, “Yes.” It was beneficial having many to consult with, but could also be a hindrance. And he had to wonder, if maybe he relied upon it too much. His father, while alive, made decisions instantaneously often. Arthur saw it many times. In contrast, he sometimes found himself struggling with each one, especially those of late.
Gwen moved forward quickly now, grasping the king’s shoulders. “You are a caring man Arthur. And a good king. One the people respect and look to for protection. The voices of others I’m sure is helpful…but also…”
Arthur coaxed, “Go on. Say what you’re thinking.”
She reached up, kissing his lips gently, touching at the bottom one as she whispered, “Just trust your heart. Listen to it. Be true to it. Because if you aren’t-
“King Arthur, we need the king!”
He grimaced tightly, but as the voice was desperate, hoarse, they both stared at each other. Then a new voice, a deep rustic sounding one. “Arthur! Merlin, we have to get him to Gaius! Stop the bleeding!”
The handmaiden and king exchanged looks of dread. She ran out first, stunned by what she saw going on in the long hallway. Gwaine, back from the battle, with a shallow cut to his arm was supporting, with the help of Merlin, a limp, stained-
“Elyan!”
Coming out after her, Arthur watched with fervid emotion as Gwen ran to her injured brother. Unable to move for a second, he flinched at the blood that was dripping onto the stone swept floor, trailing off the man’s chainmail.
Gathering his wits, the king moved forward now, questioning dully, “What happened?”
Gwaine grunted angrily, painfully. “Mercenary ambush of course. Their numbers are growing larger. And they have no fears about getting closer to Camelot’s outer borders. Elyan fought strong, but then one of them got him on the side. They fight like animals, Arthur. With no dignity at all. It happened before any of us could blink.”
“Elyan?” Gwen asked gently, pushing her fear to the recesses of her soul. His eyes were closed, but weakly he murmured her name. Both she and Arthur followed Merlin and Gwaine to see Gaius.
“Put him on the cot there.” Gaius directed authoritatively in his gravelly voice, already gathering up ailments and such as they hurriedly entered the room. “Get that armor off.”
Gwaine started to pull it away, Gwen joining him on the other side to help.
Arthur could see markedly how her hands were shaking even as she insisted on assisting.
“I’ll need some clean water.” Gwaine and Gwen were finishing with the chainmail so that Elyan could be fully treated. Merlin had a handful of the supplies Gaius needed and was assisting him now as the elder man started to inspect the wound and work to stop the bleeding.
Taking a quick look outside, Arthur saw no servants, a few guards at the end just. “I’ll get it.” He came to the decision rapidly with one reason, necessity. There was no one to delegate the job to, and Elyan needed all of their help. This one little bit was his responsibility. Grabbing the handle of the bucket he rushed out of the room, shamefully relieved to have something to do so he could get away from the ugliness of battle injury for a moment.
Gwen distantly heard his announcement as she watched Gaius cut away the last bits of Elyan’s tunic. Merlin moved around her to get to the cloths Gaius expressed need for. Gwen shuddered as the blood was revealed upon previously unstained skin. The room was densely filled with the scent of lost vital fluid and strong ailments, punishing her senses.
Still at a running pace, Arthur came back in as carefully he could with the water, ignoring the bits he’d spilled upon the floor in his haste. “Here, hopefully this will do.” He put it down on the floor beside Gaius.
He felt Merlin’s eyes on him for a second, gesturing to Guinevere’s pain. Arthur didn’t need it. He already knew.
Gaius smiled gently, gratefully at the hastily filled bucket of water. Thank you Sire.”
Gwen’s fingers cemented over her mouth. The blood was thick upon her brother’s dark shining skin. She felt sick. Nauseous.
A solid wall of protection came against her back, strongly pulling her away.
“No, I have to help-
She insisted.
But Arthur shook his head, holding her so firmly she could not get away, his arms wrapping around the front bodice of her dress from behind, hands clasping at her heart, as her dark curls rubbed against his cheek’s skin. “Not now. They have it. Let them do the work. Stay with me. It’s okay. Just breathe Guinevere.”
She indeed did let out a shaky breath at Arthur’s tendering words. She felt her body’s weakness leaning upon him, and getting stronger bolster as his grip tightened, his chest presented even more boldly against her back. His legs hit at hers, stoutly keeping her standing.
The tremors of her body shook his own heart. The business in front of them, of saving a man’s life, rocked through his semblance of strength, but Arthur knew he had to keep it up for her sake. If he broke now, what kind of king was he? What kind of man to the woman he loved?
“I can’t lose him.” Gwen whispered, fear frigid on her lips.
Arthur pushed his face into her curtain of dark curls, daring to get even closer to her now that he felt he was almost inside her heart. “You won’t.”
Hollow promises he pleaded with heavenly matter for. The situation was dire, the room so filled with healing work that was stifling its air. One thing came to his mind now to break up an inch of the desperate angst. He whispered it as a temporary antidote into her ear,
“Remember the time that unsavory character from the outer borders came? I’ll never forget the sight of that man screaming like a little girl, like Merlin really, as your brother chased him wildly with that favorite ax of his.”
A slight smile crossed her face, his remembered story a gentle warm comfort as she recalled the wild humorous sight. “He would have scared me.”
This was no time for laughter, so Arthur just let out a sound of amused consent. Waiting was awful and something he had struggled with since being a boy, having to be patient. But for now his own discomfort was least on his mind. Keeping close to him the soft and yet firmly worked molds of her body, Arthur inwardly hoped for the needed outcome.
Gwen kept still, in the back fragments of her heart thankful for Arthur’s physical and emotional wall of support. It was true there had been some distance between them since he came to her house that night, but it couldn’t take away the depth of love and care she had for him, and she knew he had for her. Like she told Merlin, it wasn’t a lack of love she missed or feared from Arthur. She knew his intentions toward her in that regard. It was the other side of things, her role of duty and service that she questioned much now.
But at a moment so fragile like this, none of that truly mattered. All she cared about was that Elyan would be alright, that she’d hear the soft timbres of his voice again, and see him ridiculously protecting everything in Camelot with that huge foreboding axe of his.
Time passed painfully slowly, but after enough agonizing moments, Gaius moved to them.
Gwen stepped forward, glancing at her still unconscious brother who at least seemed to not be bleeding so heavily, the area of the wound bandaged. “Gaius?”
The elder man smiled gently. “Luck was with our young knight. Any closer to his vital organs and it could have been much worse for Elyan. But as it is, fortune was with your brother. He’s going to be fine. Out of commission for a day or two, but with rest and continued medical care he will heal completely.”
Hearing those heavenly words, Gwen let out a strong sigh of relief, pressing her fingers to her heart with joy. Supporting her back still, Arthur let out his own, not realizing he’d been holding it in so much.
Happiness finally released the tears Gwen had been stoically containing. Seeing them, Merlin clasped her hand with a friendly encouraging smile. “It’s alright now Gwen.” Through the beginning wetness in her eyes, she smiled at him gratefully, squeezing his offered hand, hugging him and embracing Gaius too. “I want to stay with him. I have a room to tend to though that needs to be prepared for-
Arthur lifted his hand rapidly, clasping her waist with reassurance. “Forget it. You’re off duty for now. Just stay with your brother. Merlin will take care of that room for you.”
Under normal circumstances Merlin would hiss ‘headless chicken’ at the king, but now he just smiled in agreement. “Arthur’s right. I’ll take care of it Gwen.” She didn’t protest, just squeezed Merlin’s hand with gratitude before he left to take over her duties. Moving over to the dirtied heroic Gwaine, she embraced him too, careful to not upset his cut. “Thank you for bringing him back safely.” She told the knight with heartfelt gratitude, aware that Gwaine’s speed and bravery was probably much of the reason her brother was brought back to Camelot in time to be treated.
Gwaine just gave a good natured shrug and sincere smile. If there wasn’t Arthur, hah, well he’d have made his move. As it was though, he was just happy to have her as a dear friend. “Ah, I didn’t do much. Besides, who would we have to wildly swing axes around, right?”
They all laughed at that, the direst emergency ended.
Arthur backed away now, feeling Guinevere’s hand come upon his arm. Glancing down at her with tenderness, spotting the wetness at the edges of her eyes, he pulled her into his arms.
She felt the gentle pressure of a kiss upon her forehead. Lifting her eyes she saw his love and something else. “Arthur?”
“I’m glad he’s okay.” Pulling away, he gestured forward. “I need to go talk with the council. Stay and just be with your brother, alright?” For a quick moment he studied the man lying upon the cot, alive and lucky. Then with a tight smile, Arthur made his departure.
So attentive to her brother, Gwen let him go.
Outside of the room now, Arthur strode purposefully to the meeting hall.
After he got there, another rush of news interrupted the talks. It would mean even longer hours of council, and more hard decisions having to be made. It was very troubling to the still novel king who had yet to find his way around his position, to understand how his father had done it so well. And yet to decide if his way was meant to rule just like his father, or maybe with much more uniqueness.
Perhaps more by cooperation and methods of peace.
***
“I’m fine Gwen.”
Elyan reassured his sister as she fixed his blankets and made sure he ate the dinner the king had sent down for him and for her, actually. Gwen had been mildly surprised as the servant told her, “His royal highness wanted to make sure that you both had enough to eat.” She hadn’t expected him to have prepared for both of them such fine meals. But she supposed it shouldn’t be that much of a shock. Arthur had a caring heart.
Elyan was finished with his meal. She had barely taken more than a bite, tending to her brother instead like a doting mother. For one year he’d been away and now he had just faced death. Caring for him was as healing for her as it was for him.
Elyan complained strongly now. He understood well she was worried and needed something to do, but that didn’t mean she could neglect her own health. “You make me eat everything off that plate and yet you’ve barely touched yours, huddling around me instead. You need to eat Gwen.”
She shrugged his words off quickly. “It was too much anyway. I could never eat all that.”
“Well you can at least have half of it.” He insisted.
Gwen shook her head. “No. It’s not me you should be thinking about. I’m not the one who received a sword’s gash. Now quiet and-
Elyan had enough. Once when they were younger, both he and his father fell ill with the fever, probably about four years after the loss of their mother. Gwen had tended to both of them until she nearly fainted from exhaustion. His father had to get himself out of bed to make sure she didn’t fall straight to the floor. Elyan was set in mind that it wouldn’t reach such a dire place now. She’d eat if he had to spoon the food into her mouth himself.
Grabbing hold of her fussing hand, ignoring the sharp pain in his chest that made him groan for a pair of seconds, Elyan pulled until she was sitting next to him on the cot. “Stop this.”
She pointed at him strongly, a fierce frown upon her face. “You can’t stress so. You’ll open the wound!”
He lifted his eyebrows to make his point. “Fine then. If you don’t want me to stress, you eat. No doubt you’ve been working all day, exhausting with fright too for my injury. Now you’ll get sick if you don’t have some food.”
Her expression faltered. She touched tenderly at his chest, avoiding the wound. “I’m so glad you’re alright.”
Elyan smiled at that, pulling her down just a bit more and leaning forward to gently kiss his sister’s cheek. She turned at it, kissing his, before moving away.
Elyan strongly gestured. With a deep sigh she finally put some more of the food into her mouth. It was good, richly made.
Elyan smiled with satisfaction, lying back down completely against the pillow as she told him after a few bites, “Arthur said you spoke for me when you were away at battle against Caerleon.”
Elyan shrugged, making sure she continued to eat before replying. “I have deep respect for Arthur and I faithfully pledged my allegiance to him. You know that. But you are my sister too. And even if you tried to hide it, I know you were upset when we left.”
“I wasn’t upset.”
Elyan frowned with disapproval. “Yes you were. Arthur is the finest king, but he was wrong to hurt you. He admitted it to me.”
Gwen shrugged after taking another bite, feeling her brother’s eyes pointedly on her, making sure she continued eating. She was afraid if she didn’t, he’d try to sit up again and upset the dressings, hurting himself. It was a sort of blackmail that she thought he was cheeky to play with her, but for now he was the injured one and so she’d let him have the advantage. “He’s been under a lot of pressure. It cannot be easy for him to be king, especially after losing his father so grievously. I thank you for speaking for me, but you didn’t have to do it Elyan. I was fine with what he decided.”
Elyan saw through her selfless lie right away. “No you weren’t. And I’m just glad he made up for it now.” He lightly teased, getting her to choke some on her food. “Soon enough you’ll take your new role, queen.”
Gwen put down the dish, having eaten half of it like he had demanded, and needing some water for her sudden coughs. Taking a long sip from the cup, she shook her head. “I don’t know if that will happen, Elyan.”
He looked at her questioningly. “What do you mean? It is obvious Arthur is in love with you. He said as much. And I’m bloody sure you love him. So what’s to stop it?”
“I’m not noble born.”
“Neither am I.”
The argument didn’t convince her. “Arthur made you Knight at a time of need. For he required your help and he still does. He sees you strongly in your role. But as for myself…Morgana is no longer here. Even his father is gone. What is my role?”
Elyan laughed dryly. “Gwen, this castle would probably fall apart without your tending to it, arranging the order of it.”
“Head servant then. That’s hardly queen.”
Elyan wanted to further make his point, but shortly after eating he’d been given a sleeping draught to help him rest. Now it was taking effect as he let out a drowsy yawn, his eyes going heavy. “Gwen…”
She clasped his hand. “No. It’s fine. Don’t concern yourself about me. You need your rest.”
Any attempt to continue his counter, he was losing, barely able to keep his eyes open.
Soon enough he was asleep. Gwen left him to Gaius’s care, hastily pocketing something into her cloak before she left.
***
Gwen had tried to finish the last of her duties, but Merlin quickly shrugged her off, letting her know he had it all under control. With gracious thanks, Gwen departed. She considered herself fortunate to have such a good friend. In the hallway, she ascended the steps to the location of the council room. There was a door towards the back that she tiptoed to, as it was slightly ajar. Quietly, she listened in to a pair of familiar voices.
“I have to go.”
“No. You cannot Arthur.”
“Elyan could have died today! I cannot let another of my knights be put in this kind of danger. There’s only one possible solution and we both know what it is. Camelot cannot do this alone. Their land is receiving the same threats. If we work together-
“You are on opposite sides!”
“Maybe not Uncle.”
“Arthur, we nearly-
“Look, listen to me. If I go in there alone-
“Are you serious? Arthur, that would be madness! You are my nephew. I don’t want anything to happen-
“I am king of this land Uncle. It’s time I do-
There was a bit of silence and then one of the voices seemed to change direction, coming straight at her, loud and clear. Gwen gasped as she saw Agravaine’s scrutinizing eyes.
“Guinevere, do you need something?”
Another pair of eyes landed on her sharply. Arthur looked full of surprise. “Guinevere?”
She had regarded the use of her full name an intimate one that only Arthur used for some time now. Not even Elyan called her Guinevere. It was just Agravaine who regularly used it now too, and it was strange how it sounded to her sometimes, especially now with Arthur intimately echoing it. “I am sorry.” She pressed her hands together in apology. “I did not mean to intrude.”
Arthur rapidly approached her before she could turn away, clasping her hands into his. “Is it Elyan? Is he-
Gwen quickly sought to appease him, squeezing at his fingers. “He’s fine. Really. Just sleeping.”
Arthur nodded with relief.
Agravaine didn’t want to press his luck. Arthur’s attention was fully on the woman in the room now. It would be useless to keep up his argument, and look disrespectful to try to get rid of her. He needed to keep Arthur’s trust for as long as possible. It was the only way ultimately to remove him from the throne. Patience, oh patience. He had Arthur’s agreement at least, with reluctance, but the king had been giving in. Again.
If he could keep influencing him this way, even though Arthur negated his advice on Guinevere the servant woman, he could use the time to build up his and Morgana’s ultimate agenda. One day indeed Camelot would fall, and its king and all associated with him would have to flee like the demon of hell was on their trail.
Or face death.
Or maybe both.
One day. For now, patience.
“Well, I will leave you two alone. Goodnight Arthur, Guinevere.”
Gwen’s eyes barely left her king’s. It took her seconds to remember Agravaine’s position, the way he used her name still a bit offsetting. “Goodnight my Lord.”
Arthur kept his attention on Guinevere as he addressed his uncle distantly. “Goodnight.”
A pair of warm, but trembling lips pressed upon his after Agravaine was out of the room. Arthur brought his head down for the kiss. It was slow, but its depth reached strong levels of emotion. Each pulled away from the other reluctantly.
Gwen wasn’t totally sure how to say what she needed to next. She’d gone over it only a couple of times, rapidly.
“I need to ask you something.” Gwen’s fingers pressed against Arthur’s wrist.
“What is it?”
“I want to visit my father’s grave.”
Arthur’s eyes widened with surprise. “I thought you’d want to stay with your brother.”
She nodded her head with a grimace. “I do, of course. But he’s resting now and I know he’s in great care with Gaius.” She wrung her hands back and forth restlessly. “It’s hard for me to just sit. I want to do something for him and there’s really nothing now other than fixing his blankets. If he wakes up to me adjusting them one more time I think he’ll start yelling out annoyances.”
Arthur smiled at that. Guinevere was the best nurse ever, but definitely the doting type. Although he’d have no complaint to so tenderly being taken care of he could see how it might irritate her brother some. It still didn’t explain her request though.
Tears entered her eyes, as real as ever.
“After what happened with Elyan today, I am just feeling…restless and, my heart is-
Her voice was trembling. Arthur caressed her cheeks with his roughened fingers.
“I just need to be with him. Tonight. Please Arthur. A few moments just-with my father.”
The tears were now falling down her face, steadily, her lips a vibration of emotion. Arthur nodded his head, not taking time to think about it. She just needed and so he wanted. “I’ll take you now.”
“No.
I’ll go alone.”
“Never.” Arthur firmly contradicted. Tom was not buried within Camelot’s interior. It was a simple crude grave closer to the edge of the wood, outside, for Tom had been executed with the label traitor. Arthur hated that for her sake it had to be so, but his father had only wanted to dispose of the body, no kind of burial to be granted.
At the time, Arthur had yet to start a relationship with Guinevere, but still he felt badly for her so he secretly arranged for the body to be left to his daughter so she could put him to rest properly. Thus, Tom was buried far from where the former king would ever see. A slab of rock was provided to her too that as the daughter of a blacksmith Arthur knew she must have engraved with beauty.
With patrols out regularly and the all the knights and guardsmen on high alert, it was safe enough to visit at night, but that didn’t mean he’d concede to letting her go alone. He’d put his foot down as king.
“Arthur-
“Don’t be foolish Guinevere. We go together or I forbid it.”
That harsh statement raised her ire. “I am not your property. You cannot forbid me.”
“Oh yes I can. I’m king, remember?”
Angrily Gwen pulled away from his grasp.
One of them needed to get control. Taking a deep breath, exhaling slowly, Arthur reached out for her shoulder. “I shouldn’t have said it that way. I’m sorry.”
With him apologizing, her temper cooled too. “You’re under a lot of pressure now.”
“Well, it was an awful fright for you to see Elyan hurt.”
Gwen nodded with feeling. “And you are right. It’s foolish of me to think to go alone. For many reasons. Perhaps one of the knights could come with me.”
Arthur shook his head, not understanding why she was denying his accompaniment. “There’s no reason why I can’t.”
She touched his chest, telling him firmly, “Oh but there is Arthur. You are king now and your kingdom is at a shaky place with the recent threats. If anything were to happen, not that I’m saying it would, but if it did, you’d need to be here. If they tried to look for you and found you at a…” She struggled with what was seen as truth and what she saw as a terrible insult against a man she had loved so. “At a traitor’s grave…they will see it only one way. And I know you understand what that means.”
Arthur pressed his fingers emotionally against her cheek. “He wasn’t a traitor.”
Tears fell. “Thank you. I know. You know. But they…”
Arthur lifted his eyes to the ceiling, hating that because his rule was new, there were still things he couldn’t change…yet. But one day he’d have that label taken away. One day.
His lips pressed deep against hers, the kiss just instantaneously there and needed. Tasting her heat and sweet intimate water of life, Arthur took long moments before breaking away. Brushing away her tears with the tips of his fingers, he whispered, “I’ll change it one day for you. I promise. No one will think of him as a traitor again.”
Gwen pressed against his chest, feeling the strong pull of Arthur’s arms. “I know you will.” He was burdened with much, confused sometimes. It was time for her to do her part and in that task, be true to her heart. “Arthur…”
Nodding his head, wishing what she said wasn’t true, Arthur came to a decision. “I’ll send Percival with you. When you’re done come back to the palace. I’ll have a cot brought into Gaius’s quarters so you can rest near Elyan.”
She grimaced at that.
Arthur faced her with confusion. “What? I thought you’d be happy to stay with him.”
Gwen shook her head, clasping his cheek with her fingers. “No, you’re right. I am. I just don’t want you to have to go to so much trouble.”
“It’s no trouble at all.”
She smiled, giving him a gentle kiss. “Well alright then.”
***
On horseback, they reached their destination quite quickly. The gravesite was hidden by most of the forest woodland, outside of Camelot. Gwen gazed down at the slab she’d been given to etch into a fitting headstone. She never quite understood it. Under Uther’s former rule she never should have been allowed a burial at all. It was his policy to burn traitors’ bodies or have them dumped deep into the most dangerous wood, where few persons ever traveled, to be torn apart by scavenging animals.
But someone, whose name she hoped one day to learn, provided her with the right of burial. To that person she was deeply thankful.
Gwen stepped down from her horse now as Percival too dismounted. Taking in his towering stature, yet mild demeanor, she smiled with gratitude.
“I appreciate you bringing me here Percival.”
He smiled too, showing his happiness to be of help to someone of great importance to his king, and regarded fondly by all the knights. “Glad to be of help Gwen.”
She faced her father’s grave, thoughts twisting through her mind. It was no pretense to come here. Her father had been the dearest person in her life while he was alive. She couldn’t imagine facing days without him. Now it had been years sans his rumbling happy voice. She needed to be with him to make her choice.
Percival stepped back to give her some privacy. Gwen quietly kneeled at the gravesite, bowing her head. She stayed like that for a long while. Percival turned away, listening to the quiet of the wood. The only things that interrupted were nature’s rustle and the voices of the patrols further away.
Gwen closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She knew now for certain. That didn’t mean this part would be easy though. Standing and moving to her horse, she took away from the saddle’s pack a pigskin canteen. Approaching Percival, she lifted it to him with a gracious smile. “You have been so kind to bring me here and you look quite thirsty. Although the night is cold the air is very dry.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
Gwen uncapped the canteen. “Then before we travel back you should have some…just water, but it will refresh.”
Percival shook his head. “No Gwen, really it was nothing to bring you here. More a privilege. You drink it.”
She brought the canteen closer to his face, directly under his nose. “I’ll have mine after. You must have some now though.”
Taking a whiff, Percival fingered the canteen into his grip.
Gwen watched him silently, her fingers touching at something within her cloak.
Percival brought the canteen down a bit, smiling with wonder. “You’re right. It’s very good. Just water, but it’s so thirst quenching.”
Gwen nodded with a small curve of her lips, even as her heart pounded hard against her chest. “Drink more. As much as you want.”
He seemed to want to fight it for a moment, but then Percival’s itching fingers brought the canteen up to his mouth again. He gulped down the water with hungry sounds. When he was done getting his fill, he was shocked and a bit mortified to see there wasn’t a drop left. “Oh Gwen, I drank it all. I told you not to give it to me. Here, I’m sorr-
The canteen fell out of his suddenly weakening hand. Gwen watched its descent tightly. Then she looked back up at Percival. His eyelashes were fluttering heavily. “Whoa…” She heard him say as he brought the flat of his hand out to a rigid oak tree trunk. “Ahhh…I…feel…”
Gwen pursed her lips anxiously and regrettably.
“So…sleepy. So…”
It was the only way she reminded herself as his body started to sag against the trunk. She held to his arm, hoping to make his landing a soft safe one. His eyelashes were fluttering less. Soon enough his eyes were closing heavily and thankfully the trunk kept supporting him. Giving him bolster still with her hand, with the help of the trunk’s unyielding hardness, Gwen helped the man descend to the ground. Pressing her palm under his head, she kept it from hitting the forest floor harshly. Then as it was evident he was fully asleep, she took the item out of her pocket.
It was a small vial, emptied. “I’m so sorry Percival. I hope in time you can forgive me. I know this place well and I know you’ll be safe. It’s just a sleeping draught, nothing more except some natural, but aromatic herbs from my garden. They encouraged you to drink so much.”
Picking up the fallen canteen, she left his side, moving to her horse’s saddle pack. Removing a blanket the color of the earth from it, she returned to Percival. “The draught is a mild one. I made sure of that. You should be resting for no more than a few hours.” She covered him protectively with the blanket, bringing it just a bit over his head, but allowing him to breathe. As she said, this environment should be safe from any invaders, even animals. The smaller kind mostly lingered here. But still, he could get cold in the night and better to have him blend in with the forest colors.
She touched his shoulder gently, whispering, “Your king, my king, would never have agreed to what I’m about to do. He loves me, but does not fully see my influence, for I truly haven’t fought to give it hard enough. You and all the rest of his knights, he sees as so brave. He gets advice from Merlin. And he has listened to my council before, but then, of late, it is his uncle he heeds. He severed our relationship, yes for only a short time, but it was long enough for me to see his doubts, not of love, but of kingdom’s purpose. And within I even saw my own flaws for I have sometimes been complacent, safe within my role as expected servant.
But I can’t do that anymore, not now that our relationship is so deep with feeling, and that my old roles have faded. I am so restless. So pained to see my brother nearly come to death and my kingdom faltering while one gives advice that I don’t always see as good for the Camelot I love.
The one Arthur does. So this is my only choice. I have to do this.
For if I am ever to become queen…
I cannot be an idle one, nor a cowardly one.
I must be brave.
I must listen to my heart.
Act to what it commands.”
She lay down next to him a second item, words written on parchment. Then letting out a long sigh, reminding herself the safety of this place, and the small bit of strength the draught had, she hurried to her horse. It was doubtful they’d look for her in the night. Arthur rarely traveled through the wood in the evening hours, for deeper within, there were many dangers. She was aware she’d be encountering them, but she was prepared, a sharp long bladed knife in her pack for the most precarious situation. The faster she got away, the further she’d get.
She mounted her horse, peering down with a troubled expression at Percival. He’d be alright though. And the note would tell her king enough.
Turning her horse away, she entered the dangerous wood, alone.
Unfortunately, she was wrong about one important thing. In her haste to get it out of the physician’s quarters without being seen, Gwen had mistakenly taken the wrong draught. This was one as powerful as he used to give the Lady Morgana. It would keep Percival slumbering throughout the night.
Then as she was fully on her venture, a small animal came out from its burrow. Seeing the parchment only as food, it ripped it with its teeth and claws. Soon enough it realized it was no kind of food and disgustedly spit it out, but the damage was done.
The note was riddled with holes and torn apart at most important bits,
Making many of its so vital words
Scavenged away.
***
To be continued…
Thank you for reading. More to come soon. Comments are adored. Sorry to my friends who are not fond of cliffhangers! For story’s purpose, I had to end this one here.