(no subject)
So I open eljay today and my name is all over the damned thing. It's true. Apparently I'm a very busy and important person. Or easily suckered. You say tomato...
I'm not quite sure how this happened but apparently I am running the Toronto Marathon as part of a relay team in October. Cuz. You know. I've never run a step in my life. I think we're gonna give whole new meaning to the term 'chased bitches'. Cuz somebody better be chasing my ass with a Very Large Stick With The Nails, or dangling a cheese croissant in front of me if you actually think this sad carcass can frigging well run. I snort in your general direction.
Mind you 4 months ago I thought I was gonna be fat forever and I now snort in fat's general direction too. So, we'll see. ravensee is gonna set up a new runners community since so many of us are starting from ground zero together that we may as well train and learn together. So I'll forward those deets when I have them if you're crazy enough to want to try. We have 269 days left to train. Not enough to train for a full marathon but easily enough to do 5K of it.
Also I leave for the dentist in half and hour or so and I'm quivering in fear, just a little. Yesterday's High On Obama retardation made me make a dentist appointment to fix the large painful hole in my mouth. I already regret it. Maybe this time I will luck out and not have a dentist I want to kill on sight but I'm not holding my breath. I once had a bomb go off while I was in the dentist's chair. True story but I don't have time to find the link for you. Bad BAD things happen when I go to the fucking dentist. Though this is the first time I'm going to a chick dentist. Perhaps it's only the testicular drillers I have bad mojo with? We'll soon find out. Lying back in the chair I will be at the perfect height and angle to punch her in the fucking vagina if she sucks. Mind you she will have a drill in my mouth so it's a bit of a dicey proposition. I still have half an hour to work out the detail.
And cry.
I'd say wish me luck but why bother. I'm coming out of there with patches of my hair missing, 2 news scars on my face, sharted shorts and an emergency root canal. ITS WHAT HAPPENS IN THAT FUCKING CHAIR.
Fuck you chair.
Yay Britney.
I have to poo.
And find a stupid benefits form so I only get partially anally raped for this.
Bye!
I'm not quite sure how this happened but apparently I am running the Toronto Marathon as part of a relay team in October. Cuz. You know. I've never run a step in my life. I think we're gonna give whole new meaning to the term 'chased bitches'. Cuz somebody better be chasing my ass with a Very Large Stick With The Nails, or dangling a cheese croissant in front of me if you actually think this sad carcass can frigging well run. I snort in your general direction.
Mind you 4 months ago I thought I was gonna be fat forever and I now snort in fat's general direction too. So, we'll see. ravensee is gonna set up a new runners community since so many of us are starting from ground zero together that we may as well train and learn together. So I'll forward those deets when I have them if you're crazy enough to want to try. We have 269 days left to train. Not enough to train for a full marathon but easily enough to do 5K of it.
Also I leave for the dentist in half and hour or so and I'm quivering in fear, just a little. Yesterday's High On Obama retardation made me make a dentist appointment to fix the large painful hole in my mouth. I already regret it. Maybe this time I will luck out and not have a dentist I want to kill on sight but I'm not holding my breath. I once had a bomb go off while I was in the dentist's chair. True story but I don't have time to find the link for you. Bad BAD things happen when I go to the fucking dentist. Though this is the first time I'm going to a chick dentist. Perhaps it's only the testicular drillers I have bad mojo with? We'll soon find out. Lying back in the chair I will be at the perfect height and angle to punch her in the fucking vagina if she sucks. Mind you she will have a drill in my mouth so it's a bit of a dicey proposition. I still have half an hour to work out the detail.
And cry.
I'd say wish me luck but why bother. I'm coming out of there with patches of my hair missing, 2 news scars on my face, sharted shorts and an emergency root canal. ITS WHAT HAPPENS IN THAT FUCKING CHAIR.
Fuck you chair.
Yay Britney.
I have to poo.
And find a stupid benefits form so I only get partially anally raped for this.
Bye!