(no subject)
So I shit myself on Niter's couch. Cuz I've thought about this a lot and there is just no kinder, gentler way to begin this post so I may as well just drop the bomb. Again.
I thought it was just a fart.
I was wrong.
And you know, I'd always wondered when I'd heard people tell tails of sharting, how in the hell you would not know there was a load sitting on deck? Allow me to affirm for you Intarwebs that sometimes. You. Just. Don't. Know.
So I wound up taking my shorts, or should I say sharts, home in a baggie. Not unlike my single days except SO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Although what is actually funny is what a shitty day Niter thought she had until I had to go and take one for the team and demonstrate for her exactly how shitty her day could have been.
I am totally a humanitarian.
A stinky one.
Today my ass and I are at odds. Clearly it can't be trusted. A fart squeaked out accidentally as I was on my way to work out and the abject terror on my face would have made baby Jesus cry. Remember how I once was hot and sexy and my life revolved around blow jobs and backstage passes? Then one day I woke up old with shit in my shorts?
I am definitely the poster child for something. I just haven't figured out the cause yet.
So. Yeah. Twisty G is on the mend and Fratboy is gone again and I handwashed the shit out of my shorts in a friends sink. How was YOUR weekend?
I thought it was just a fart.
I was wrong.
And you know, I'd always wondered when I'd heard people tell tails of sharting, how in the hell you would not know there was a load sitting on deck? Allow me to affirm for you Intarwebs that sometimes. You. Just. Don't. Know.
So I wound up taking my shorts, or should I say sharts, home in a baggie. Not unlike my single days except SO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Although what is actually funny is what a shitty day Niter thought she had until I had to go and take one for the team and demonstrate for her exactly how shitty her day could have been.
I am totally a humanitarian.
A stinky one.
Today my ass and I are at odds. Clearly it can't be trusted. A fart squeaked out accidentally as I was on my way to work out and the abject terror on my face would have made baby Jesus cry. Remember how I once was hot and sexy and my life revolved around blow jobs and backstage passes? Then one day I woke up old with shit in my shorts?
I am definitely the poster child for something. I just haven't figured out the cause yet.
So. Yeah. Twisty G is on the mend and Fratboy is gone again and I handwashed the shit out of my shorts in a friends sink. How was YOUR weekend?