Minion Manager! With vampires...

[elfhawk]

So E. is all hyped up about some book series she's reading. Twilight something-or-nother. Yeah, that's nice, whatever, you said vampire. I continue on with my life, not caring any more. Then Head Trip referenced it, and I went looking. (I now know who the Edward Cullen is I keep randomly seeing in icons.) And this is goldSeriously, I wrote

Comments

[pariahsdream]

I finally get who Edward Cullens is too (I was so confused). O__o I'M a better writer than that, dear gods. My favorite line, other than the sparkling!!1!! is this:

"He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare."

....
.......
Just take a moment to bask in the lulz of that. I nearly fell off the bed laughing. If I EVER meet a guy with an incandescent chest, I'm either going to a) run the hell away because he's freaking radioactive or b) throw water on him because he's on FIRE. Jeez.

[elfhawk]

I demand that my boyfriend not be paler than me. Edward Cullens makes me look black. Or at least Asian. Huge no-no.

And the only thing he better have scintillating had better be his conversation. (I am reminded of the sparkly manbits conversation. (Actually, ow, that was an image I never wanted in my head. Sparkly vampire bits...))

[pariahsdream]

How exactly CAN arms be scintillating anyways?

(You know you love my sparkly!manbits woman...;p )

[elfhawk]

Fairy dust.

(You're the one who censored your bits. I found them amusing as hell.)

[e_heidi_liz]

Item 1: I hatez u beyotch. Die 4evuh

[elfhawk]

Item 1: Stfu, u ho!!11!

Item 2: It's made all the sadder she's an English lit major. And I didn't say YA is bad- just questioning why the worst of it is worshipped. What's so wrong with making them read Nancy Drew instead?

Item 3: I blame Buffy for the vampire love. So really, it's Joss Whedon's fault that tween girls are obsessed with creepy men with no character.

Item 4: It's some guilty pleasure of yours, isn't it? I blame the drugs.

Item 5: Harper Hall got adopted by YA, it wasn't written as YA. All the best YA books are like that. Just look at The Hobbit.

Item 6: I was born a critic and had to inflict it on everyone as much as possible. The twins were worse. You just wrote horrible poetry and self-absorbed short stories. They were budding little "I write Mary Sues!"

Item 7: Never coming home again, ever.

[pyrokitty714]

Thanks for the heads-up - I was wondering what those books that E was ramblin over... lol... I think every piece of random fanfiction I've read involving vampires (and just imagine how much that is ^-^) is better than these... -_-()