So the guy I was dating when I started this journal? The reason it happened so quietly, and is sort of really strange for me in the beginning? We still talk ( Read more... )

It's hard not to decide that what I've done in the past will determine what I do in the future. In less than five days I'm going somewhere I've been many times in the past, somewhere I've habitually used to run away. I don't know what I'd be running away from, but I want to decide that I'll use that place to escape. But that's inappropriate ( Read more... )

Yes, life, fuck you too ( Read more... )

So in the past I've had problems in relationships. Not so much with attachment - it takes a long time for me to get too attached. But definitely with ... not obsession, but preoccupation. I date someone because I find them intriguing, whether that's good or bad, who knows, and if I find them intriguing I think about them all the time ( Read more... )

I'm an addict. I find it so easy to collapse under the weight of what I have to do. I don't want to do it - the way is clear, the motivation is not. I pour and cry in futility until I can find a way around it ( Read more... )

I'm getting really tired
of being down the rabbit hole...
I fell down it with my eyes open
and thought that was the strangest things would get.

The White Queen started running
the second I landed
She's so far away now,
I don't see her much anymore.

The knights are never worth it, anyway.

Things I want, selfishly ( Read more... )

( long personal rant )