as my maternity leave winds down
i’ve had a chance to ponder the inner workings of being a stay at home mom. sure i’ve got a lot more me time with a new baby and alex in day care than i would if i watched them both full time, so it’s no where near exact. but whereas last time i couldn’t wait to go back, this time it’s a lot different.
last time i wanted to go back because it was a sense of ‘normal’ - maternity leave had been the hospital, a sick baby and a lot of stress. add in the new mother tasks and being a first time mother, and it was terrifying and something i was happy to share responsibility with for a bit of my pay. also, when i went back to work chris was the one who took care of him for the next 7 weeks, and then we swapped back off our vacation to watch him for 2-3 more weeks. he didn’t hit day care until almost 6 months. none of this is to say i didn’t want to stay home - it was just terrifying, and work was ‘known’. i love that kid as much as i love this kid, but his experience was more trying, i’d be a liar if i didn’t admit that.
zoë will be so much different - has been so much different. sure its never easy with a new baby, but she’s to date had no major issues, and has been a generally agreeable and good baby. none of the sleeping downstairs near the swing so we all get a bit of shut eye, no medical devices I had to learn - I’ve had time to be a bit of a home maker, and oddly and quite honestly i’ve determined that i find it quite enjoyable. i could - and would love to - stay home with my kids and be a full time stay at home mom if i had to - and if i could.
if i do remains to be seen, but it’s nice to know that it’s a job that not only would be enjoyed (most of the time ;P) but one that I could do. i wasn’t quite sure of that last part.
Current Mood: cheerful
