"Girl you've got to know when it's time to turn the page"
It's so much easier for us to see the value in others than it is for us to see the amazingness in ourselves.
I took a risk to tell my friend how I see her and to tell her what she deserves, because she is that important to me. It's always a risk to point out to someone when it looks like their significant other may not be the one who understands and respects them the way they should. It's a risk their signficant other will find out how I feel or statements I have made, and not want me to spend time with her. It's a risk they will stay in the relationship, and then feel unsupported/judged by me. It's hard enough being gay without having people making predictions about your relationships. It's a risk it could impact our friendship, and my friend could think I am being negative and not want to share things with me in the future. We all want to present our signifant others as positively as we can and start to censor the reality we feel in our hearts.
I am willing to make waves and risk all of the above, because I KNOW this girl and I KNOW how she deserves to be treated. Pouring over years of journal entries I can see how much she has worked through and continues to have positivity left to share with the rest of the world. I have spent so many days talking and wandering the city with her. And I wish I could just make her significant other see all this, I wish she could understand her the way that we do. To see what drives her, what she values, how giving/willing/open to life she is. But in the words of Tori Amos Northern Lad "I guess you go too far when pianos try to be guitars." We are who we are and I don't know how much about that can be changed, no matter how willing we are or how badly we want things to change.
My heart hurts for her.
I took a risk to tell my friend how I see her and to tell her what she deserves, because she is that important to me. It's always a risk to point out to someone when it looks like their significant other may not be the one who understands and respects them the way they should. It's a risk their signficant other will find out how I feel or statements I have made, and not want me to spend time with her. It's a risk they will stay in the relationship, and then feel unsupported/judged by me. It's hard enough being gay without having people making predictions about your relationships. It's a risk it could impact our friendship, and my friend could think I am being negative and not want to share things with me in the future. We all want to present our signifant others as positively as we can and start to censor the reality we feel in our hearts.
I am willing to make waves and risk all of the above, because I KNOW this girl and I KNOW how she deserves to be treated. Pouring over years of journal entries I can see how much she has worked through and continues to have positivity left to share with the rest of the world. I have spent so many days talking and wandering the city with her. And I wish I could just make her significant other see all this, I wish she could understand her the way that we do. To see what drives her, what she values, how giving/willing/open to life she is. But in the words of Tori Amos Northern Lad "I guess you go too far when pianos try to be guitars." We are who we are and I don't know how much about that can be changed, no matter how willing we are or how badly we want things to change.
My heart hurts for her.