11th August 2010
30 day meme continued
Day 02 - Your first love, in great detail
I'm guessing that the context of this is supposed to mean the first person I was in love with. In which case, I shall begin.
I was always a bit of a natural flirt, even when only a small child. I had two girlfriends on my first day of primary school. Yes, aged just four, I was holding hands with, and kissing two girls at the same time. I didn't meet my first love though until I was at high school. I'd had a couple of "girlfriends" before her, but they were pretty boring and generally just wanted the same thing (someone to kiss, and someone to be seen holding hands with. *yawn*). She was different though. She was always a bit of an odd one to most people: she was a total non-conformist, liked strange music, dressed differently to everyone else, had a very odd sense of humour. In fact, she was pretty much what these days would be called a "goth", but back then it wasn't even close to socially acceptable. I thought she was great though. She had an amazing talent for art, and her sense of humour suited me just fine.
We got along just great as friends for a few years, but then one day on the way into school, a mutual friend ran over to me and asked me if I'd like to go steady with this girl. I didn't even have to think about it, I said yes almost immediately. Things were awkward for the first few weeks, as we'd gone from friends to boyfriend / girlfriend at the drop of a hat, but we were pretty much insepparable after that.
Then came the summer holidays, and aside from a week when she was in Gran Canaria with her mum and sister, we spent every single day together. I won't go into the gorey details, but let's just say we grew very close during this time. More or less 6 weeks together, day after day, and it was the first time I'd ever seen her happy. She was the first person to tell me they loved me, and the feelings were definitely reciprocated.
Now, you may argue that a 14 year old can't really grasp the concept of love, but I beg to differ. By that age I'd already experienced the deaths of two schoolfriends (one by car accident, the other in a bomb attack by the IRA), been bullied extensively (mostly by my own brother), and witnessed the near divorce of my parents. I was no stranger to emotional upheaval. That being said, I'm now much older and I still feel the same way about her to some extent.
Things went wrong when we returned to school though. Looking back it was mainly my fault too. I was young and relatively selfish sometimes, so when we returned to school I was itching to see my friends, and go playing football with them during lunch times. Totally heedless of my girlfriends feelings, we ended up growing apart because of this, and she eventually decided enough was enough and broke up with me. Less than a week later she phoned me to ask me to be her boyfriend again, but I was still hurting and stupidly said no. It was the end of something great. I suggested we remained friends though, as we did get along well, but things were just never the same after that, and we barely spoke for the remaining 18 months of school.
I haven't spoken to her now since we were 16, but I do often think about her and wonder how she's doing. I've seen her sister on occasion, and generally ask how she's doing, but I've never been able to get up the nerve to offer to get in touch with her, and ask to arrange us getting together at some point. I suppose I've always just been afraid of her saying no, which is silly really. I guess I also don't want to come across as a stalker or anything :\
I found out quite recently from a mutual schoolfriend that she's in a bad way: she has Crohn's Disease. It's pretty much messed up the last few years of her life, as it's made her unable to hold down any steady employment, and she's having to rely on her art work selling in order to make a living (which, as I'm sure some of you will know, isn't really ideal).
Bah, anyway, that's Ruth, my first true love. Mebbe one day I'll stop being a coward and actually find a way of getting in touch with her. Out of all of the mistakes I've made in my life there's two involving here which I truly regret: 1) being selfish and causing the breakup in the first place, and 2) not staying in touch after we left school.
Day 02 - Your first love, in great detail
I'm guessing that the context of this is supposed to mean the first person I was in love with. In which case, I shall begin.
I was always a bit of a natural flirt, even when only a small child. I had two girlfriends on my first day of primary school. Yes, aged just four, I was holding hands with, and kissing two girls at the same time. I didn't meet my first love though until I was at high school. I'd had a couple of "girlfriends" before her, but they were pretty boring and generally just wanted the same thing (someone to kiss, and someone to be seen holding hands with. *yawn*). She was different though. She was always a bit of an odd one to most people: she was a total non-conformist, liked strange music, dressed differently to everyone else, had a very odd sense of humour. In fact, she was pretty much what these days would be called a "goth", but back then it wasn't even close to socially acceptable. I thought she was great though. She had an amazing talent for art, and her sense of humour suited me just fine.
We got along just great as friends for a few years, but then one day on the way into school, a mutual friend ran over to me and asked me if I'd like to go steady with this girl. I didn't even have to think about it, I said yes almost immediately. Things were awkward for the first few weeks, as we'd gone from friends to boyfriend / girlfriend at the drop of a hat, but we were pretty much insepparable after that.
Then came the summer holidays, and aside from a week when she was in Gran Canaria with her mum and sister, we spent every single day together. I won't go into the gorey details, but let's just say we grew very close during this time. More or less 6 weeks together, day after day, and it was the first time I'd ever seen her happy. She was the first person to tell me they loved me, and the feelings were definitely reciprocated.
Now, you may argue that a 14 year old can't really grasp the concept of love, but I beg to differ. By that age I'd already experienced the deaths of two schoolfriends (one by car accident, the other in a bomb attack by the IRA), been bullied extensively (mostly by my own brother), and witnessed the near divorce of my parents. I was no stranger to emotional upheaval. That being said, I'm now much older and I still feel the same way about her to some extent.
Things went wrong when we returned to school though. Looking back it was mainly my fault too. I was young and relatively selfish sometimes, so when we returned to school I was itching to see my friends, and go playing football with them during lunch times. Totally heedless of my girlfriends feelings, we ended up growing apart because of this, and she eventually decided enough was enough and broke up with me. Less than a week later she phoned me to ask me to be her boyfriend again, but I was still hurting and stupidly said no. It was the end of something great. I suggested we remained friends though, as we did get along well, but things were just never the same after that, and we barely spoke for the remaining 18 months of school.
I haven't spoken to her now since we were 16, but I do often think about her and wonder how she's doing. I've seen her sister on occasion, and generally ask how she's doing, but I've never been able to get up the nerve to offer to get in touch with her, and ask to arrange us getting together at some point. I suppose I've always just been afraid of her saying no, which is silly really. I guess I also don't want to come across as a stalker or anything :\
I found out quite recently from a mutual schoolfriend that she's in a bad way: she has Crohn's Disease. It's pretty much messed up the last few years of her life, as it's made her unable to hold down any steady employment, and she's having to rely on her art work selling in order to make a living (which, as I'm sure some of you will know, isn't really ideal).
Bah, anyway, that's Ruth, my first true love. Mebbe one day I'll stop being a coward and actually find a way of getting in touch with her. Out of all of the mistakes I've made in my life there's two involving here which I truly regret: 1) being selfish and causing the breakup in the first place, and 2) not staying in touch after we left school.