I think I've discovered a critical component missing in non-violent communication. Namely, normative factors. Without which, simply stating "needs" becomes an effort in futility ( Read more... )

Dawning comprehension of how psychology is applicable is an unending source of fascination for me. I had previously regurgitated a stock definition of the defense mechanism, "projection" in my post The Sustainability of Blame. While a fairly straight-forward concept, I wasn't thinking at the time of any real practical application, or example of ( Read more... )

In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun - find the fun and snap! The job's a game! ~Mary Poppins

When I was a young man I never understood the Peace Corps commercials which foretold, "The hardest job you'll ever love." The two seemed mutually exclusive to me. As I matured however, I gained a deep satisfaction in helping ( Read more... )

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If you want to truly understand something, try to change it.
~Kurt Lewin

There are many complex things I can pare down to simple patterns of behavior. I can also just as easily over-complicate what should be an entirely benign matter. Why the difference? For me, is the nuanced eddies which dance around any given subject - some are cacophonous ( Read more... )

People believe they are right about the things they believe they are right about. When I mention this phenomenon the reply is usually, "Don't you?" My answer is often viewed with suspicion, because no, I do not. My beliefs are quite malleable, being based upon current information and understanding - two things I acknowledge can change. To me ( Read more... )

Great in theory, unimaginable results in practical application.

Feelings can be used in a destructive way if we try to imply that other people's behaviors are the cause of our feelings. The cause of our feelings is not other people's behavior, its our needs.

Clearly the author is not married. I'm going to try something completely out-of- ( Read more... )

I doubt. Above all, myself. Descartes was close. I doubt, therefore I am. I struggle. I question. I observe and attempt to disentangle motives, filters, biases, and beliefs (including my own) from behaviors and attitudes. A book on non-violent communication introduced me to the concept that rather than "evil" or purposely "hurtful" actions ( Read more... )

In attempting to ascertain a baseline for different levels of trust from which to work with, I was inundated with numerous seemingly conflicting ideas: "personal, paradoxical, positively correlated" (the three P's*); "community, crowd, core" (the three C's*); and "deterrence-based, knowledge-based, identity-based" (basis*) to name a few. But ( Read more... )