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[eheccatl]

One more week until my birthday and for some strange reason it really doesn't make me happy. Instead it makes me want to cry. I love my birthday but time is going by too fast, I really don't want to grow up. I am still not ready.

So I am back to my confused state. I am confused on everything from life to even school work. ARGH! I only wish things

Comments

[simulated_zen]

Ah, Gypsia...I'm here for ya! Be excited about your birthday, please! It's going to be loads of fun!

If you ever need to talk about the whole confusion thing then I'm here! Sophomore year was full of confusion for me, well...I'm always confused but last year I was even more so. I questioned a lot of things, one of those being school and the purpose of school/education. So yeah, I pretty much stopped doing my schoolwork last year and now I have to make up for it, or at least get use to doing my homework again.

Anyway, be happy Gypsia and I'm sorry about the family thing. Your sister is being pretty stupid to divide the family just becasue of that incident.

[eheccatl]

As much as I want to I just can't get excited about my birthday, it really sucks.

I'm basically confused on what I want because what I think I want just ends up contradicting me, im sorry if I dont make any sense...

*hug* Something else happened in my family but I'll tell you later but at least that got sorta resolved now. My family is really screwed up, and these are just part of the screwd-up ness

[brain_kick]

I'm confused too. Everything is going reasonably well, under the circumstances, but I never really feel happy, at least not for any long amount of time. I think school is mostly to blame for this (the pointlessness of it all, yet the terrible amount of time and effort it requires). I really don't get the point of school. Almost nothing we learn here will be used when we're grown up and have a job, unless you're going to be a physicist or a math teacher or something. So to waste what's left of our childhoods doing endless work for people who don't appreciate it, don't like their jobs, and/or suck at their jobs really sucks. So as much as I think it sucks and that I should stop trying so hard, the other side of my brain pulls me back to my work because I can't let go of the standards I've had for the past 16 years. I've been torn like this since perhaps the end of freshman year. I'd been told that with time, it would come clear to me, but no epiphanies yet

[eheccatl]

Yea I have begun to see how pointless are the things they teach us in school. But just thinking of how my family is and seeing that they didn't get a good "education" forces me to work hard. This crap better pay off.....

I wish I could be happy about my birthday but as hard as I try I keep finding things bad about it because I have never had a truly happy birthday. For as long as I can remember my birthday has been terrible for one reason or another.