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[eheccatl]

One more week until my birthday and for some strange reason it really doesn't make me happy. Instead it makes me want to cry. I love my birthday but time is going by too fast, I really don't want to grow up. I am still not ready.

So I am back to my confused state. I am confused on everything from life to even school work. ARGH! I only wish things

Comments

[brain_kick]

I'm confused too. Everything is going reasonably well, under the circumstances, but I never really feel happy, at least not for any long amount of time. I think school is mostly to blame for this (the pointlessness of it all, yet the terrible amount of time and effort it requires). I really don't get the point of school. Almost nothing we learn here will be used when we're grown up and have a job, unless you're going to be a physicist or a math teacher or something. So to waste what's left of our childhoods doing endless work for people who don't appreciate it, don't like their jobs, and/or suck at their jobs really sucks. So as much as I think it sucks and that I should stop trying so hard, the other side of my brain pulls me back to my work because I can't let go of the standards I've had for the past 16 years. I've been torn like this since perhaps the end of freshman year. I'd been told that with time, it would come clear to me, but no epiphanies yet.
Sorry to wallow when I'm supposed to be cheering you up.

But do be happy about your birthday. Birthdays are awesome and it is a ray of fun amongst the non-fun.

[eheccatl]

Yea I have begun to see how pointless are the things they teach us in school. But just thinking of how my family is and seeing that they didn't get a good "education" forces me to work hard. This crap better pay off.....

I wish I could be happy about my birthday but as hard as I try I keep finding things bad about it because I have never had a truly happy birthday. For as long as I can remember my birthday has been terrible for one reason or another.